Friday 29th May
Awoke in the morning to find that neither of us had any hair left, telephoned hospital who said it was a side effect from the swine flu testing. 
We were achieving, it saved the cost of a haircut and new blonde hair dye for tall one..jpg)
Brought 24 hours worth of wireless internet at the hostel for $15. Sat on the sofas all day on the internet looking for jobs and generally wasting time. Had a brief break where after deciding no more money will be wasted on treats, we went and had a pub dinner with a beer for about $13 each. We returned to our groove in the sofa and stayed until we no longer had any sense of time or purpose.
Saturday 30th May
and very green when they left. .JPG)
Walking back along the Harbour pier they spied a resident tramp of the harbour. An old woman who sits squat in a nook beside the railway station with stacks of bags and boxes of rubbish beside her. Small one tried to get a photo of her for our collection of Sydney Tramps and Lunatics. As she appeared to be dozing it appeared safe to take a quick picture, but as he raise the camera she leapt out of her little chair and ran towards them shouting “DON'T YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU FUCKING BITCH!'. Tall one and Small one left, they will have to get a photo of her another day.
Friday 5th June
Sunday 7th June
We were achieving, it saved the cost of a haircut and new blonde hair dye for tall one.Brought 24 hours worth of wireless internet at the hostel for $15. Sat on the sofas all day on the internet looking for jobs and generally wasting time. Had a brief break where after deciding no more money will be wasted on treats, we went and had a pub dinner with a beer for about $13 each. We returned to our groove in the sofa and stayed until we no longer had any sense of time or purpose.
Saturday 30th May
Got up 6am, went downstairs and retuned to our groove in the hostel sofa to finish using our 24 hour internet time. A lot of jobs were applied for, but none rang back other than a couple more door to door sales jobs. Small one weighed himself to find he was 9 stone 10, and decided it was time for a diet as too many treats were being had.
Sunday 31st May
In the morning an unsuccessful trip to central station handing out leaflets, but walking back to the hostel small one approached two German backpackers. Without tall one's knowledge he promised them that tall one and small one would carry their backpacks for them to the hostel if they checked in with the leaflets. Small one ended up pulling a suitcase on wheels.... whilst tall one had the heavy backpack and had to make pointless, inane chit chat with the German girl. Walked to Eddie and Elana's new flat in Edgecliffe. On arrival Eddie showed us around, two seconds later the tour was finished and we had a cup of tea and watched Don't Forget the Lyrics. Eddie was in the bad books for staying out all night and not telling Elana where he was (you can take the boy out of Athlone, but not Athlone out of the boy). .jpg)
Back to the hostel and decided that after three weeks of promoting the free hostel BBQ that we would try it out. Unfortunately the two German girls and most of the other hostel lunatics and bores were there. We ate as quickly as possible and left. Tall one tried the Kangaroo steaks which he thought were good, a little like Venison. Small one said he did not want to eat Skippy or indeed anything that tasted like Bambi. Small one ended up trying a small part of Skippy but ended up spitting it over the rooftop edge which tall one thought was rather over dramatic.
Monday 1st June
Back to the hostel and decided that after three weeks of promoting the free hostel BBQ that we would try it out. Unfortunately the two German girls and most of the other hostel lunatics and bores were there. We ate as quickly as possible and left. Tall one tried the Kangaroo steaks which he thought were good, a little like Venison. Small one said he did not want to eat Skippy or indeed anything that tasted like Bambi. Small one ended up trying a small part of Skippy but ended up spitting it over the rooftop edge which tall one thought was rather over dramatic.
Monday 1st JuneSmall one had an interview for a sales role at 1.30pm. Small one arrived early at 1.00pm but had left by 1.02pm. Upon sitting down small one had heard the familiar Aussie Farmers pitch of great sales and high wages. Small one was not falling for this again and walked out. Down to central station to spend an hour or two handing out leaflets again. The usual lunatic tramps and beggars were around, they feel like part of the family now. Firstly is the previously mentioned Asian woman lunatic, who turns up daily to stand over anybody in her seat until they leave, once they do leave she usually continues to stand over her empty table and mumble – more recently she has taken up pointing to the station ceiling and shouting hysterically. 
Then we have a regular tramp visitor to the downstairs forecourt, a busy bearded man who walks with his hands in his pockets like a slow wind up toy that has shit itself. Another favourite is the guy with a leather jacket and a big full office file under his arm who walks around with a strange limp, barefoot staring out people in the station until he thinks he can ask them for spare change. One commonly seen downstairs in the forecourt is the long, greasy haired tramp with many carrier bags, who with his head down walks briskly down the pavement hopping over any ORANGE coloured slabs. Lastly, a more recent addition of a toothless gentleman who sits outside on the café chairs and shouts and laughs to his portable radio, which is usually just playing static. As much as we feel the greatest sympathy for these people, we felt the need to document them with photographs and colourful descriptions.
Tuesday 2nd June
Then we have a regular tramp visitor to the downstairs forecourt, a busy bearded man who walks with his hands in his pockets like a slow wind up toy that has shit itself. Another favourite is the guy with a leather jacket and a big full office file under his arm who walks around with a strange limp, barefoot staring out people in the station until he thinks he can ask them for spare change. One commonly seen downstairs in the forecourt is the long, greasy haired tramp with many carrier bags, who with his head down walks briskly down the pavement hopping over any ORANGE coloured slabs. Lastly, a more recent addition of a toothless gentleman who sits outside on the café chairs and shouts and laughs to his portable radio, which is usually just playing static. As much as we feel the greatest sympathy for these people, we felt the need to document them with photographs and colourful descriptions.
Tuesday 2nd JuneFollowing the theft of the beloved Connect 4 game from the hostel, Tall one and Small one decided to try and find a new board game to buy up town. A 'Games' shop was found on Pitt Street. Upon entering the store an over eager, long haired man rushed down to us and asked if we needed any help.... we did not need or want his help. He went away disappointed while tall one and small one tried desperately to find a board game that didn't cost $60. While hunting for board games we over heard the long haired game salesman re-laying a recent dream to the elderly woman behind the till (presumably his mother). He had dreamt of opening a chess set only to find that all the pieces were white and then had to hunt around for all of the missing black pieces. He has an exciting life in the world of board games. Tall one had a call to go to a job interview at a cafe called Yots opposite the Maritime Museum, however it took tall one and small one hours to find the place which was actually in the museum and not opposite. The interview went well and tall one was told to come back tomorrow for a trial. Walking back into town to meet small one, tall one past a Japanese woman collapsed on the pavement, she was being helped by an albino man holding a clipboard. After small one and tall one were re-united they walked home that evening to the hostel taking a small short cut through the back of the park by the Cathedral. As they approached the stairs leading down to the street and hostel, two skinny tramps shouted at them from about 30 yards away, “OI EXCUSE ME!” and then started to run straight at tall one and small one. They decided it was best to not see what they wanted and ran down the stairs quickly. At the bottom, they looked back up to see the two tramps looking angrily down at them, but they pursued no further.
Wednesday 3rd June
Tall one had his trial at Yots cafe. Ended up staying 2 hours 40 minutes with no pay but got fed. The trial went well, with the exception of breaking a coffee cup and a woman asking him if she could have a pink marshmallow instead of a white one with her hot chocolate. Tall one would get a response to the trial tomorrow. 
Later that day small one and tall one went to Video Ezy, where small one rented M*A*S*H 4077th presumably after his confused sighting of Alan Alda last week. Tall one felt very ill for the rest of the day and wondered what the Yots cafe had fed him.
Thursday 4th June
Later that day small one and tall one went to Video Ezy, where small one rented M*A*S*H 4077th presumably after his confused sighting of Alan Alda last week. Tall one felt very ill for the rest of the day and wondered what the Yots cafe had fed him.
Thursday 4th JuneWalking down to the station through Hyde Park and small one spied a nice little old lady pusing a child's pram and walking a small dog. When she got closer we saw that in fact she was no nice little old lady, but in fact another Sydney Lunatic who was pushing a small white dog in the pram. 
At the station Small one went into a clothing store and asked if they had any work going. She said she needed a female cashier only but said that there were just two backpackers in here who were leaving and maybe small one could get there jobs. Small one asked 'where were they working?', she said she did not know, but it meant that there were jobs about.... as small one was leaving sharpish she called out after him, 'oh wait are you looking for work then?', small one said 'YES'.... she said, 'well try the newspapers then'. Tall one got stopped by a fat, white man handing out small white coupons. Tall one took a coupon only to see that it was all written in Chinese. The fat white man (who was not Chinese in any sense) said, 'oh wait your not Chinese you have to go up this street here, take a left up Hays Street and it's up there', still not even saying what the coupon was for. Later in the station as small one was handing out the usual hostel leaflets two strange men came running along the alleyway. A very fat, sweaty and exhausted man, and alongside him a young, skinny, healthy man. The fat man stopped by small one panting and saying he could not go on any further. To which the skinny man punched him and said 'keep running to the lights fat boy!'. Small one and tall one left the station and headed for Kings Cross to look for work up there. After deciding on no more treats they stopped and had a pub lunch and a beer. After the lunch tall one wanted chocolate, but as usual every Convenience store entered to look for food had not a single price tag on anything, so every item would have to be brought blind or you'd have to ask how much it was. No chocolate was brought on principal. Walking up the street to King Cross small one and tall one recognised a friend from the station. None other than the giddy tramp in the long navy raincoat, who was staggering down the hill towards them wearing huge headphones. As he crossed a small junction he suddenly put his arms up in the air and waved them about as if dancing, but no he was just falling over. Small one and tall one stopped and watched as he tumbled down into the road and rolled over. They continued to just watch as a young girl rushed to his aid and helped him to his feet. He continued down the hill but kept steadying himself against trees and walls. That night, tall one and small one decided to go to Sydney Opera House in the evening where Brian Eno had made a sculpture on the subject of Global Warming by illuminating the opera house with projected colours. It was very pink when small one and tall one got there,
At the station Small one went into a clothing store and asked if they had any work going. She said she needed a female cashier only but said that there were just two backpackers in here who were leaving and maybe small one could get there jobs. Small one asked 'where were they working?', she said she did not know, but it meant that there were jobs about.... as small one was leaving sharpish she called out after him, 'oh wait are you looking for work then?', small one said 'YES'.... she said, 'well try the newspapers then'. Tall one got stopped by a fat, white man handing out small white coupons. Tall one took a coupon only to see that it was all written in Chinese. The fat white man (who was not Chinese in any sense) said, 'oh wait your not Chinese you have to go up this street here, take a left up Hays Street and it's up there', still not even saying what the coupon was for. Later in the station as small one was handing out the usual hostel leaflets two strange men came running along the alleyway. A very fat, sweaty and exhausted man, and alongside him a young, skinny, healthy man. The fat man stopped by small one panting and saying he could not go on any further. To which the skinny man punched him and said 'keep running to the lights fat boy!'. Small one and tall one left the station and headed for Kings Cross to look for work up there. After deciding on no more treats they stopped and had a pub lunch and a beer. After the lunch tall one wanted chocolate, but as usual every Convenience store entered to look for food had not a single price tag on anything, so every item would have to be brought blind or you'd have to ask how much it was. No chocolate was brought on principal. Walking up the street to King Cross small one and tall one recognised a friend from the station. None other than the giddy tramp in the long navy raincoat, who was staggering down the hill towards them wearing huge headphones. As he crossed a small junction he suddenly put his arms up in the air and waved them about as if dancing, but no he was just falling over. Small one and tall one stopped and watched as he tumbled down into the road and rolled over. They continued to just watch as a young girl rushed to his aid and helped him to his feet. He continued down the hill but kept steadying himself against trees and walls. That night, tall one and small one decided to go to Sydney Opera House in the evening where Brian Eno had made a sculpture on the subject of Global Warming by illuminating the opera house with projected colours. It was very pink when small one and tall one got there,and very green when they left. Walking back along the Harbour pier they spied a resident tramp of the harbour. An old woman who sits squat in a nook beside the railway station with stacks of bags and boxes of rubbish beside her. Small one tried to get a photo of her for our collection of Sydney Tramps and Lunatics. As she appeared to be dozing it appeared safe to take a quick picture, but as he raise the camera she leapt out of her little chair and ran towards them shouting “DON'T YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU FUCKING BITCH!'. Tall one and Small one left, they will have to get a photo of her another day.
Friday 5th JuneTall one did not hear back from his Yots Cafe job interview yesterday and so telephoned. Later she phoned back and confirmed they wanted him to start and indeed, start in half an hour. At last Tall one and small one had work (well, one of them). Tall one started work at 11.15am, and was introduced to the catering manager at the Maritime Museum, who's name was Bridget Seaman. Tall one suggested she had probably already heard all of the jokes, but she did say she'd liked to hear any new ones.
Saturday 6th June
Small one came in at 9st 3 this week. He has lost half a stone in one week. The Jazz and Blues festival in Darling harbour for three days. Tall one and Small one walked around it for 20 minutes and left to go rent some more DVDs (another 2 M*A*S*H 4077th!!).
Sunday 7th JuneGod's day of rest, we had a lie in till 12.00. Walked down to Paddy's Market where we saw a strange man in a shirt and tie playing Eye of the Tiger on beer bottles. Tall one brought speakers for the laptop and also snuck into the YHA hostel for a good shit. Walking back to the hostel Tall one and Small one past a man outside Woolworths handing out leaflets, beside the leaflet man was a little short Australian guy shouting and pointing at the leaflet man that he was wasting his fucking time, everybody hates you and you are a retard! After the short angry man left, Small one felt sorry for a fellow leaflet guy and went to get one of his leaflets. He was only handing out free I.Q. Tests....? Tall one then brought a wall calendar with Golden Retrievers on to keep track of his cafe hours. It cost $2.00.
