Saturday 20th June - Monday 29th June

Saturday 20th June

Tall one and Small both had a day off work. Tall one had to walk into his job at Yots Cafe anyway to hand in his notice, he walked down with Small in the pouring rain. Just stepping inside the building Tall one had a missed call from work. It was his dippy supervisor Fran who said that Tall one should have been working today, but they had added today to his rota but not told him. Tall one happened to have turned up anyway, but did not work. However as they were short staffed it was too busy for Tall one to hand in his notice and so he sent a cowardly text message to her a little later. After some clothes shopping Small one suggested Tall one go up to hospital to get a subscription for the bad cough and cold he had had for 2 weeks. Back up at the hospital they decided to test Tall one for Swine Flu yet again, complete with face mask. Even the nurse said it was a waste of time but they did it anyway, and then did not subscribe anything for the cold. Yots Cafe called Tall one at 4.30pm and asked if he could come in at short notice at 5.pm to work. Tall one did and coughed and sniffed throughout the evening of serving food and drinks. Small one did his weekly weigh-in to find that he was now 9 Stone 1.

Sunday 21st June

Another day off for Tall one and Small one. Yots called Tall one at 9.30am and asked if he could come to work today at short notice, Tall one said he was busy. Tall and Small had decided to spend the day walking over Harbour Bridge to the North shore of Sydney. On the way Tall one brought Small one an ice-cream, paying an extra $1 for a flake. After 2 seconds of holding the thing, Small one had dropped the flake on the floor. A nice walk across the bridge and a look around Luna Park, an untidy fairground. Further round the shoreline was a man doing some strange backwards stretches. The people this side of the Harbour seemed just as strange as on the other side. Walking back Tall and Small found the ugly sky tower too expensive to go up so went home and watched DVDs for the rest of the day.

Monday 22nd June

Tall one was due to start at work at 7am for a big function. Bridget Seaman phoned him at 6am and asked if he could come in any earlier....?! Arriving at Yots Function room Tall one found all the other staff complaining of this 6am phone call. The function was ironically a breakfast during a big presentation on the countries Health problems and how to eat more nutritiously while all of the people listening were over weight and being served a free fried breakfast. Following the morning function Tall one was moved to another function upstairs. This involved 90 astrologers discussing 'The Evolution of Dwarf Galaxy's' – it was like a nerd convention up there. With all the talk of Starbursts and Galaxys, Tall one thought he was at a Candy Convention. Then, all these intellectuals were given little pack lunches with a juice, apple and roll for their lunch. Back at the hostel that evening and another Fire Alarm was set off. Fun was had by all. Following this excitement, Tall and Small walked over to Woolloomoolloo Harbour. A strange journey through some really rough streets filled with permanent homeless residents with tents, through to a really high class, expensive, smart street of bars along the harbour. A nice sunset was seen over Harbour bridge from the top of the hill.

Tuesday 23rd June

A bad day at Yots Cafe for Tall one. The Seaman woman had started to speak to Tall one very condescendingly, the chef was losing his food order dockets and a new staff member had been making cold coffee for all the customers all morning, all of which Tall one was getting the blame. Tall one was now glad he was leaving.

Wednesday 24th June

After work Tall one met Small one to go clothes shopping to buy supplies for the Blue Mountains. In one mall was a tourist stand for Whale Watching, where the woman attendant was dressed like an upper class Hooker in some luxurious Red furred coat with what looked like lingerie underneath, all to sell tickets to see Humpback Whales. A frustrating time was had clothes shopping for white work shirts and black trousers. Small one could not find shirt sizes to suit. Every single clothes shop entered some bored attendant would encircle us and keep asking do you need help? What size are you looking for? Then even more un-helpfully if we answered 'We need an extra small in white but you don't have any' they would respond with 'Here are some extra small black shirts'. Back on the high street and Tall and Small found the usual frustrating problem at pedestrian crossings of cars pulling forward too soon on the road and being parked stuck right in the middle of the crossing when the green man came on. This problem seems to happen a lot, and one day we feel we shall just walk across the bonnet until they learn their lesson. Tall and Small also discovered that the big glass building filled with three floors of Apple computers which was always full, was actually providing free internet access to the public in exchange for just trying out Apple laptops. Tall and Small had been wondering for the last 6 weeks what was in there and why it was so popular. That evening Tall and Small walked up to the Opera House to take photos of the sunset. It was more of a twilight than a sunset, but still nice. Small asked one of two Asian lads to take our photo, after he had done so he asked his own friend to take a photo of him standing next to Tall and Small as 'this is a very good memory for me and I want picture'.

Thursday 25th June

Small one spent the morning avoiding training the new guy on how to hand out leaflets at the station. After spending one morning this week with him was enough as he had been nervously telling bad jokes to Small and directing potential customers to the wrong destination on the map. At Yots Cafe today Tall one had a large man in bare foot come in and asked to see the menu. After sitting and speaking to the lady sitting next to him for a while he got back up and walked over to Tall one with the menu and asked “I'd like some shoes, where can I buy some shoes?”. It was a confusing moment, but after all he did not have any shoes on. Meanwhile Small one, still in need of a small size white shirt though he'd try Paddy's Market. Asking for a small size at a stall with white shirts another unhelpful attendant said to try this size 37 size. Small one had already told her repeatedly that a 37 was too big and he'd already tried that size. She then suggested he tried there small sizes in black, but small one did not want black, she wanted to know why not. Her husband then went outback and got a pile more of size 37's. She began opening them all for Small to try on and telling him to take his top off. At this time Small one replied with a loud shout 'Have you not been listening to a fucking word I've been saying? Jesus Christ 37 is too fucking big'. Small one left, still without a shirt. Small one then met Tall one and they went for a much needed beer and burger in Darling Harbour. Where they sat huddled under an outside heater and noticed that lying behind them another sofa was a small Asian boy, left alone and looking like he was stone dead staring into space.

Friday 26th June

Tall one and Small one's last full day together in Sydney due to Tall one's 16 hour shift tomorrow before leaving for the Blue Mountains Sunday morning. They decided to use up Tall one's savings to go Whale Watching on a very small jet boat. It was the first boat that day so the three guides and one scientist on board said it would take a little more time to find 'the line' the Humpback Whales were using. The method they had to find the Whales was no particularly scientific... they had a bloke up on a cliff with Binoculars looking out to sea and at the same time they told us to give them a shout if we saw any. It was a 2 hour trip and after an hour and a half we had seen nothing but Seagulls. Eventually we found two Whales travelling together, they would surface and swim with only their backs in view for about 3-4 minutes then go under for another 5 minutes. We only saw them a few times above water and not very close up. As soon as the Whales finally did appear one guy on the boat started violently vomiting over the edge of the boat until we went back to shore. It was really a waste of money, but a nice boat trip? Back on land Tall one used his job at the Yots Maritime Museum cafe to get them a half price ticket to look around the Battleship, the Vampire as well as the Submarine, the Onslow. Both had an awful lot of pictures of Queen Elizabeth on, I doubt when the boats were at War that it was photos of this woman the Sailors had on their walls. The Submarine was a bit more interesting. Then one of the volunteer guide who had spent three years living on the Submarine in its hay day, and 15 weeks without a shore visit followed Tall and Small and started talking. Considering he was English and a guide on an Australian Submarine he decided to talk to us for half an hour about the IRA and the Bobby Sands hunger striker. He did however sing the IRA's praises as if it wasn't for them the English would not be able to deal with bombings as well as before. He told us how their submarine had been on a secret mission to look for gun runners off shore of Ireland and how there wouldn't be an M1 Motorway if it wasn't for the Irish. We left the Submarine when we had a good chance to, but as Tall one was climbing up the ladder a small boy at the top shouted down 'I am going back down' and tried to climb down through Tall one's legs when he was still climbing up. Food was then eaten in the food court in Darling harbour, after every single Asian counter attendant jumped on us just for walking past, and asked 'What you want? we got these plates very special for $11.50...' etc etc we went for a McDonalds. Returning to the Hostel for Small one to have a nap, Tall one ventured back up town to get a haircut and return his work shoes, which after three weeks had rotted inside. The woman in the shoe shop protested that there was no way the damaged to those shoes was caused in three weeks and said how these shoes were not Hospitality shoes, they were business shoes. Tall one was not amused, they discussed some more pointless theories of hers until she gave him a new pair of shoes. During the $12 haircut the Muslim hairdresser started to discuss Michael Jackson's death reported that day, and said 'well we are all going to die anyway... don't you agree with me?'. Tall one just wanted a cheap haircut not a chat about death. Tall one returned home, and Small one commented how Tall one was finally getting over his many illness he had had throughout their 7 weeks in Sydney. The cold and fever, chesty cough, runny nose, wisdom teeth ache on the top right and left, the daily headaches, the dry lips and the swine flu. They were all either gone or clearing up, just in time for the move to the very cold Blue Mountains....

Saturday 27th June

Tall one left at 10.00am for his 16 hour shift at work. Small one was left alone for the day. They were expecting to catch the Train to Katoomba at 7.18am Sunday morning and then a bus to Jenolan Caves in the Blue Mountains where they were starting their new job and home. Small one found out in the day that part of the rail line was being repaired today and tomorrow and so a replacement bus had to be caught at 5.30am to Penrith, and then a train from Penrith to Katoomba, and then the bus to Jenolan Caves. As usual the cashier Small one spoke to seemed to think he knew better what Small one wanted, and said as you are not an Australian resident you can go on another day can't you, as your just a tourist. Small one said no, we need to be there tomorrow. Meanwhile, Tall one started at Yots Cafe at 10.30 where he accidentally ordered a Babiccino for a 2 year old girl with regular milk instead of soy as requested. After spending an hour in the other kitchen helping prepare for the function that night, he returned to be told that the baby got a very bad rash on it's face because he screwed up the milk. At 4.00pm the shift at the cafe was finished and Tall one travelled with other staff to the Town Hall on Oxford Street for a big function to last until 2.00am. The function turned out to be for 400 Gay and Lesbians who were paying for a 4 course meal and an accompanying drag show to raise money for Aids and HIV. The whole night was ridiculously glamorous and excessively camp. All the furniture lined with large, silk pink ribbons. Drag acts singing Judy Garland and other big band numbers. Guests in sequinned trousers, leopard skin jackets, women with mullets wearing top hat and tales. The campest man of all was Tall one's food and beverage supervisor, who was a middle aged German man called Helmit. Tall one was given tables to look after for the night, which included two blind men and a man with a broken leg. Later in the night a Liza Minnelli impersonator in drag (who was more scary than Liza Minnelli herself) asked Tall one for a glass of White wine. There was no glasses left, so Tall one gave him a used glass. Tall one finally finished at 2.00am, where he found that only three other staff from Yots remained, and all of his supervisors, including Bridget Seaman had left hours ago and not said anything to them. Tall one was not sad about missing a goodbye.

Sunday 28th June

After a scary bus ride home through Oxford Street Tall one arrived back at the hostel and met Small at 2.30am. Allowing for time to walk down to station with heavy bags, they decided to leave hostel at 4.00am and so stayed awake until then. Outside the hostel, after five minutes painful walk with the bags they hailed a cab. Arriving at the now overly familiar Central Station they brought tea and pizza from the kebab shop and caught an earlier bus to Penrith at 4.40am. Arriving at Penrith at 5.40am to find it a very small, empty and extremely cold station where the train to Katoomba was not until 7.09am. Tall and Small were both very tired and drank some disgusting coffee like drink from a machine. The only good thing at the station was the toilet paper, which was double quilted, despite the extremely run down Men's room. Unfortunately, a small girl who kept snorting and sniffing like a pig decided to sit next to them opposed to on one of the many other empty benches in the station. She started to ask Tall one many of those generic, dull traveller questions, ie where are you from, where are you going, what do you do back home, are you here for long? These questions were all dully answered by Tall one as Small one had decided to ignore her. At one point she said she was going to go get one of those shitty coffee we were complaining about, asked Tall one to look after her bag and said that there was nothing valuable in it only lingerie?? Train was caught to Katoomba where they arrived at 8.45am. There bus was due at 9.45am and so they spent their last few pennies on a Subway breakfast. A scary bus trip was then undertaken up very twisted, narrow hillside roads. Arriving at Jenolan Caves around 11.30am. It was really really cold and the place looked exactly like the photos on Google. They waited in Reception for their new boss, James to come down. The receptionist talked to herself for most of the time they waited there. James showed them around the hotel, and explained the haunted Restaurant upstairs where a dead old woman from the 1930's is said to rattle cutlery in the middle of the night. He also pointed to the Grand Piano in the restaurant and said they were looking for a new pianist and said you can play anything you like on there as long as you don't play 'As Time Goes By'. As like the film Casablanca it had sad memories for him. He looked nothing like Humphrey Bogart though. Introduced briefly to some of the other staff, the chefs all seemed to be in their early twenties and stricken with ache. Finally they were showed their room, which was temporary until their two bed apartment was repaired by Friday. The temporary room was still adequate, their own kitchen, bathroom and three small rooms, just very very cold. James had then told them that today, Monday and Tuesday would just be relaxed days for us to explore and go on Cave tours for free, and we would start working in the Restaurant on Wednesday where we would be very busy from then onwards. After a 2 hour nap, Tall and Small went on their first free caves tour in the Temple of Baal. It was a very good tour except for all of the Asian tourists who insisted on speaking over the guide. The classical music played over a small light projection on the cave wall, this was amazing and felt so relaxing. After their staff meal of a small roast Lamb dinner, they finally got to go to sleep, almost 39 hours since they had last slept.

Monday 29th June

A staff breakfast of coco pops and toast was followed by another cave tour called 'Orient'. This was less impressive than the last tour and was guided by what looked like a sixteen year old girl who made bad, over rehearsed jokes throughout. There was also a woman with a red perm who's camera made extremely long, screechy electronic noises every time she took a picture in the cold silence of the caves. A brief walk was then taken around the Blue Lakes, where apparently Platypus can be seen early morning. A staff lunch of lasagne and chips was had and then on to another cave tour called The Plug Hole. This one was more adventurous, and involved wearing overalls and abseiling down an entrance cliff, then crawling through many pot holes and crevices in the cave. Small one could not stop swearing every time there was an awkward crawl space or climb to be gotten over.