Wednesday 30th March – Saturday 2nd April 2011
Last few days at The Corkman… The bed bug girls came back and were nice enough to see Tall and Small off, which made small one teary eyed. The replacement hostel manager had still not been found so they got in ‘Eileen’ the little ugly troll like girl who worked bar and carried water in her armpits. She wasn’t as slow as Tall one thought during training, but then the next day someone responded to the gumtree advert and came in for training with Stacey and Tall One. She was an Aussie who’d lots of experience in hostels and seemed to be half normal at least. Gave her the job with a days notice to start and move in. Final Friday of The Corkman and small one was let off work at midday, Tall one had no check-ins or outs that Thursday or Friday, just got struck training two different people.
Small one came down at 6pm to meet Dublin John for a final drink in the bar and sat waiting at the bar, sat and had at least one drink before Stacey came over and asked if he was waiting for John. He said yes, and she pointed out that John had been sat drinking on his own the otherside of the pillar at the bar for the last half an hour. Kieran came in briefly on the Friday and gave Tall one his bonus without being prompted, after tall one had been preparing all of his arguments all week if he got nothing. Kieran also gave small one a small bonus to which he told Kieran he hadn’t asked for anything, and Kieran said that’s why he got it. Few drinks with some of the furniture, hostel residents and locals. Went to bed respectfully at 10pm as p at 430am to walk to railway station for skybus to airport. Alarm went off and walked down very asleep to the station, halfway down flagged a taxi, maybe we had not condensed the flat down into two bags that well? Bored at the airport and then away to New Zealand for 3 weeks….
Wednesday 9th March – Tuesday 29th March 2011
Well time really flys when you’re miserable…. Writing this now and just 3 days left at The Corkman.
Roof still ot fixed and no sign of the health inspectors shutting them down… Jens and Lutz gone and he place is a lot quieter. Paddy’s Day came and went, 890 people through the door and $20,000 made. Pete the bouncer dragging people out as well as Stacey dragging some girl out in a head lock as the bouncers looked on. Small and Stacey having harsh words between each other as she kept leaving all the work and long hours for him while she kept rocking up to work late and then speaking to him like shit, but later apologized and said she wanted the last week or so to go nicely between them. Small one did managed to get off at about 11pm for paddys night to have at least a few Guinness, after Stacey told him, right now you can piss off…. Had some real demented bar staff in that night, a youngish couple where the guy had big black glasses and tight black clothes on a round body, spent the time telling Kieran (the owner) off, correcting other staff, walking into Tall and Smalls flat upstairs without knocking…. But compared to his numskull girlfriend, this squat, sour faced beast who the new chef admitted was the first girl he wanted to punch out. She took 3 pint glasses of water to a table carrying one in each hand and one clasped in her armpit…. As she came out the bar the one in her ‘pit’ spilt all down her top and she looked wonderful when she arrived at the customers, and pulled that wet glass from out of her wet armpit for them…
Last 7 days have been a bit of a nightmare. The hostel manager replacement, Kelvin walked out as he was not being paid enough and Kieran refused to pay him for 6 hours training. The two new chefs have handed in their notice as they are not being paid enough. Everytime the phone goes in the pub it seems to be someone asking when a bill will be paid b Kieran. Little Tommy from the pub was being moved for good to the old people’s home that same week, and then the Bed Bug fiasco happened in the girls dorm….
Irish, cry-a lot Bev and Anwen had been finding a lot of bites Tall one’s day off in the female dorm. Stacey did nothing about it and could not see any bugs, this was also Paddys week so busy elsewhere. So nothing done at all, even though they claimed they’d phoned the rent a kill pest control and were told they weren’t coming as Kieran hadn’t paid there last bill? Week later the girls came out screaming and in tears, Anwens clothes covered with bed bug eggs and crawling with 0.5 to 1cm long bedbugs. 12 hour day due for Tall One. Cancelled any new check ins and gave refunds, got the rent a kill guy in to inspect who said $800 per room and the managers flat had to be done as there were dead ones in there. Kieran turned up and tore into the poor inspector that the price was a piss take and he’d been a great customer for 9 years…. Awkard moment. Spray guy was booked in for next morning. Tall one had to re-house the 5 girls which was a nightmare due to the City booked solid from the Aussie Grand Prix in Albert Park. The few dorms left were $50 a night! Phoned round and found a cancellaton and a whole female dorm free so booked girls in. Phoned all 5 girls. Gave them money for that night and said come back after 5pm next day. Also wash ALL of your clothes and bags before you go we will pay. Then washed all of the bedding and covers from dorm in launderette, new pillows brought, small and talls clothes all washed, sofa and bed thrown out due to dead bugs, even though they had never been bitten themselves. The rent a kill guy with no personality and a nervous laugh came and went in an hour and a half after us being told it was a 4 hour job. Girls gradually came back after 5pm, all in shitty moods, teary eyed. All moved out finally, next day was full of more washing to do, and then the girls came back. Had a cup of tea with them and that night 4am Bev was screaming, she had three large bed bugs on her. It all kicked off again. The girls must have brought them back as 9 gallions of stuff as sprayed in there. More hostels found for them, all laundry, bedding washed again, clothes all washed again. Girls moved out, this time told them a week (they won’t be coming back) big argument with them before they left to which they responded with snotty facebook comments when we were just doing our job. Mr Personailty pest control back in and sprayed and said no live bugs here, must have been the girls. Booked dorm out till Saturday after we have left so it is there problem now who they let in. Scottish Jennifer and Louise returned but turned down hostel manager job, and refused to move back in as there friends, Bev and such had told them all about it from the other hostel.
Anyway moving on. Some lighter stories include (before bedbug gate) on Jens’ last night the six of us ordered an Indian Curry to be delivered from the same place Small and Tall had waited for over an hour and walked out of. They said on the phone it came to $75, we said we made it $70, they said $5 delivery charge. We said the leaflet says free delivery within 3 km, they said you are outside of 3km. We googled it on google maps, it was less than 1km away. They still said no $5 delivery charge, even after it being less than 1km and us spending $70…. We told them to go fuck themselves. 40 Minutes later the doorbell went, Indian guy with stack of takeaway, we told him this was a different address andhe went away, probably to be fired.
Small and Tall went to Visit little Tom in his new home last Tuesday/Wednesday. Walked down to Richmond area. Little Tom was in the communal room having the newdpaper read to him and about 15 other old people. He seemed the most sharpest and mobile one of the lot. He remembered Conor and just about Mike. Took him for a walk to his room which was a bare as a hospital room. Then took him out for a pot of beer, via the very slow lift which had a woman with a zimmerframe slowly getting on to it, to which he helped her by dragging her on. At the pub round the corner he told us how it’s very noisy at night time and he got up to find the room next door wide open, tv on at 4am very loud and the old boy sound asleep, he just snuck in and turned the tv off and went back to bed. The room numbering is confusing it goes left to right 10 9 8 1 2 3 13 14 15 …. That can’t help anybody. He remembers the 4 digit pin code to get back in though, but could nto remember we were going to new Zealand just ten minutes after telling him. He said if he ever forgot the code to get back in he’d just have to put a brick through a window! Goodbye Tom. He seemed happy enough and well looked after, it was a bright, clean friendly place at least.
Tall one finally contacted a crazy woman living in suburban Australia to make one of his documentaries about. She’d been on the news as having divorced her husband as she wanted to sleep with a crocodile. Contacted via her webstie crocsncritters.com.au she kept postponing and postponing due to her shift work as a nurse. Finally got up there one Saturday and showed me round her 3 crocodiles, one on her bed on a leash and another 8 ft long in the garden which she made tall one stroke. The small one she said she had lost and spent ten minutes with a torch looking round the sitting room under books and even inside video cassette covers? Never found it. She lived in Rockbank, a real dustbowl suburb outside Melbourne. Had pythons, turtles, cockatoos, goanas, blue tongues and more. Wanted $300 for the visit to which tall one gave her $100. She also had Today Tonight show filming her that Thursday. When tall one got home he found the microphone had broke and no sound was recorded, it was all mute. Had to go back on the Tuesday and interview all again, she was fine with that though, gave her another $50 which she did not turn down. Edited it together and e-mailed her the link, and she said she really liked it, even the moment when she’s talking about how she thinks she has a psychic connection with her pet croc and then the phone went.
Anyway, that’s the last few weeks, just a few days left and wondering how much well get screwed over for holiday pay, super and bonuses…. Should be a fun week, and if any of the hostel crew are still talking to us after making the girls cry for being eaten by bed bugs, then may have a few drinks on our last Friday.
Wednesday 23rd February – Tuesday 8th March 2011
Fun fun fun at The Corkman. Can't wait to leave this house of hell. Had a week of war againgst everyone in the building. The hostel residents started to realize their drunken antics were watched on the secuirty tapes each night, so started coming home at 4am acting like arseholes, stripping off, sticking up their fingers, falling over hoping to watch it back the next day, someone even pissed in to the washing machine.... Had words with them all that it had got out of hand and hey seem to have calmed down. German chefs Lutz and Jens both leaving within the next week. Tall one has a tall weird aussie guy on trial for Hostel Manager role. Kieran said he's been made the same offer as Tall one, even though Tall one spoke to the new guy and found out he was offered $20 less?
Kieran is a nice guy, writes some nice songs which Small one has been playing in the pub, but as a business man is an absolute cunt of a man. Has everyone here on less than minimum wage, small one is the assistant bar manager and is getting paid less than general bar staff some how. Asking for a day in lieu for working the public holiday his response was 'it's not a public holiday for our business' as if he was exempt from Australian business legislation. The co-owner has been coming in having serious discussions with Kieran over how he's running the business into the ground and wants out. He is also 5 months behind paying everone's superannuation and owes everyone about $1,000. Still hasn't brought first aid kits since asked in January after the girl hit her head in hostel. Tall and Small sent an anonymous tip to the health and safety inspectors over the lack of first aid kits and the huge holes with leaking water round the pub, with exposed wires and slippery floors. One came in today apparently but Stacey has not mentioned anything about it.
If Kieran is bad then Stacey is even worse. Nice and smiley to your face, but spends her time undermining Kieran telling everyone about his personal problems, debts and how crooked he is. Even the new barman said after just 2 days he'd heard all about the owner and just didn't care. She puts every thing to blame on Kieran when money goes missing from tip jar, it was Kieran, if something can't be done it is because of Kieran, but yet asking Kieran direct he says its fine. She's clearly on the take, after finding how tip money has been going missing, and one minute she claims the pool guy came and emptied the pool machine (of which the pub get half) the next day infront of Kieran she claims the have never come. She has been runnign down small one to Kieran, as Kieran admitted to Small how he'd been told by her that Small one has a big mouth and tells everyone everyone elses wages, to which Small one told him how it's her with the big mouth and how everyone knows his personal details. Worst of all, a parcel arrived from Ireland from old barmaid Noreen. It was addressed to Stacey, Conor and Mike, and Stacey showed it to Tall one and opened it infront of him, read the note form Norren and showed him the Irish / UK chocolate bars she'd sent and the Irish teabags. That evening Tall went to show small the parcel only to find Stacey had taken everything for herself. She truly is a pethetic bitch. This blog is quite good therapy. 3 weeks to go this saturday....
Did at least go or a nice 18km walk to Studley Park in Melbourne, had a calipo icelolly, looked at some ducks and walked back. Tall one also walked down to the beach via Albert Park anda lot fo construction work, and then back again. Tall one got his hair shaved off at last, as the blonde dye was making his head bleed. Sat in the pub with his new shaved cut and nobody recognised him, kept walking past saying hello to Small one but not him…
Tuesday 8th – Tuesday 22nd February 2011
Still at the Corkman, counting down the days. Small one had to throw out an aborignal guy from the oub after he was drunkely swearing and getting abusive, apparentky he was with an equal rights group? When asked to leave he brandished a glass at Small one. Small one phoned the police, and the operator told him they could not understand his Irish accent and suggested he phoned back and hoped to get somebody else? By the time the police arrived he was long gone, and the police said they'd had several calls about him. When small one told the owner he had a go at hime for calling the police and said he should have called Pete the fat, tired security guard. The next day Small one caught a young student couple shagging in the gents toilets and threw them out. An elderly couple sat nearby looked disgusted, adn the old man said he must be getting old he hasn't been offered sex in a toilet.
Dutch Danny from the Taz trip turned up in the pub with his girlfriend, she left soon after the fly back home. He phoned small one at 10am with a emotional voice asking if he could come into the pub, small one said he was in bed and left it at that. Not seen him since. Tall one had warned small one not to make friends with people as this is what happens... Tall and Small also went to meet small Japanese Ai working in her coffee bar in David Jones store. It was a strange place with 1950's haircuts on everyone working, and the cafe setup like an old 50's kitchen. Had a coffee and Ai said about three words to us.
Tall one started to advertise for a replacement as Hostel Manager, 7 weeks early. Inundated with badly written cover letters using 'text' language? Found two good ones, and interveiwed them. An irish guy with a nice personality but seemed like she'd only stay a few months. Compared to a young aussie guy who could stay long term, had good experienc in hostels, but had the dullest personality going. Even had a monday meeting, with the roof caving in on everybody, and nobody's Superannuation paid sicne September, it was a fun meeting. Tall one went to A&E to get a pain in the centre of his chest looked at after having it for about 5 months. A&E suggested he tried the bulk billing clinic and they walked up to Brunswick to the address given. They expected a long wait when they saw about 20 people in the waiting room. Tall one went in and registrered, and sat down on a very very squeaky bench. Got his book out his back pocket to some mroe squeaking, opened the page and then his name was called. He went in to see the doctor, walking past all 20 people. Doctor tapped him on the chest while he took breaths a few times and told him he had inflamed cartlidge around the rib cage from lying on his side too much. Then he went home.... thrilling trip.
On the wednesday night small one stayed up till 3am drinking with big Lutz from the kitchen. On the thursday night there was a function by some snotty, fussy, complaining woman with OCD who spent hours setting and resetting tables, complaining they were all wrong. She complained to small one that she had drawn out a plan for the layout perfectly on paper, and small one replied that she could draw a submarine on a piece of paper, but that doesn't mean she'd fit a submarine in here. Small one then spent the night drinking at the bar with Dublin John. They had moved old Tommy into a home permantley now, and after a brief worrying spell where he seemed very very lost, he has now settled in. That was until one of the regulars made accusations at Kieran and John about how they were looking after him and who woul dget his $190,000 savings? They were not happy, Tommy only had $15,000 anyway. Small one rocked up to bed after 1am waking up Tall one again. Tall one heard him using the bathroom and the sound of liquid hitting tiles. He went in to see Small one propped againgst the wall and pissing straight on to the floor below the bathroom cabnit. Tall one 'corrected' him, and adjusted his aim int he right direction. The next morning Lutz said he saw Small one come up at 1am to bed, and saw him go out to use the hostel bathroom but went on to the fire escape instead. When he showed him where the bathroom was he found him later sat in the bin. Small does not remember too much, but his head hurts.
Another great weekend over 19th. Some Korean hostel resident snuck in his friend and they scoped out all the dorms at 1am, caught by one of the girls on their way into the female dorm. His friend then stayed the night in the 12 bed dorm and left at 7am, not sure where he slept as there were no beds free. Did not find out till after the Korean resident checked out and the girl backpacker said what happened, and we watched the cameras back. Four young skaters boys checked in, next day found out they were under 18, so was unsure whether to throw them out or not as part of a pub, left them in the en.d. Spent the monday interviewing more people. A big girl with bad teeth showed up, but was actually quite good, and had some great experience in Dublin working with hostel check in, security, cleaning etc she may not win a beauty contest, but she'd probably make a good hostel manager, so may be back next week. Stacey talking about 'going electronic' with the booking system for hostel, instead of wasting time on the paper booking diary. At last we are making progress, thought Tall one, and gthen she ended by saing 'of course we'd have to keep the paper diary AS WELL as a backup incase w ehad a power cut??? So to go electronic would cause MORE work not less. The french girl staying at the hostel had told tall one she liked the Where's Wally posters he'd put up, and said how she'd found him in the bathroom but he was a black man, and she'd found him in the kitchen but he was a woman? Tall one was not sure she'd quite grasped the who Wally was and why she was finding him. German Chef Jens staying in hostel has been plagued by some over weight Aussie bird who keeps turning p in his bed, and se's not very nice. Speaking to everyone with this weird arrogance trying to make jokes. Small one told her he couldn't serve her last night at 12pm that it was staff only so Jens could get a break from her.
Preparing for Paddy's day and talk of all the tables in the pub being put up in our flat and in the hostel. Not sure how that'll work, and they also admitted how their liquor license ran out last December. A pub crawl turned up today at 4pm, the students are back! News has been full of story of very bad earthquake in Christchurch New Zealand. Over 65 dead already, Cathedral spire collapsed, bodies being pulled out rumble. It seems every place Tall and Small book to go has a major disaster within the year of them arriving. With Bangkok riots last year and Iceland volcano or snow storms grounding flights in UK and Ireland, bombs at Moscow airport, civil war starting on Cambodia / Thailand border and now Earthquake in Christchurch..... Going to Christchurch in 6 weeks time, not sure what it'll be like then.
Sunday 6th – Monday 7th February 2011
Spent Sunday doing not too much really. Had the Lamb roast in Corkman and heard how the ceiling had caved in a few places in the storms. The co-owner Chris has seen the state of the place and had a huge row with Kieran syaing he was not going to pay the rent!!! Small one stayed drinking all day with Dublin John and heard about how little Tom was in a rest bite in a home, and was getting very bad with his memory. Tall one stayed upstairs reading and watching DVDs. The radio was not turned off again in hostel and at 11.30pm Tall one had no replies from his texts to Stacey and had no keys to get in to turn off until he started back on wednesday, so he cut the wires to the speakers so it would not be playing all night.
Monday walked to botanical gardnes for tea and scones. It had flooded badly as well so access was restricted. Kieran was in and in a better mood. Managed to do some laundry, and that's the excitement over for now. Small one started back on his evening shift, and Tall due back day after next to God knows what mess in the hostel.
Saturday 5th February 2011
Breakfast in hotel trying to get a decent coffee out of a spluttering machine, and trying to persudae the Asian waitress that we were still using that knife or that plate as she tried to clear tables by wrenching our dishes away. Spent morning looking in a gallery and eating Subway, then got on Greyhound home at 2pm. Another 9 hours. This drivers not such an arsehole. He did tell us however there had been severe storms in Melbourne and Railway Station flooded badly, he was not sure if we'd make it in. We drove through a lot of flooded roads, of which the drivers put his foot down and spayed water everywhere, instead of driving carefully.... we waited for him to flood engine or skid off road, knowing we never had luck with bus drivers... Made it to Melbourne via a stop at the leaky cafe again. It was Midnight before we got in the door to find the hostel radio had been left on all night.
Friday 4th February 2011
Day in Canberra a not boring. Forecast was rain, sky at 10am was overcast so just took umbrellas. An hour later sun came out and burnt us to a crisp. There seemed to be swarms of big ants everywhere in Canberra, and a shortage of footpaths. It was a bland City of hideously modern buildings. All made up of museums, and other big formal, official buildings and a lot fo monuments... that was all really. Stopped in an Aussie Bar and had food and suddenly thunder, lighting and tropical rain came down... Had seen the Parlimant house at least which was alright from the outside anyway, The Aborignal Tent Embassy was better, which was just some squatter sin tents and caravans with a dirty flag and petition.
Thursday 3rd February 2011
Up early to walk to Southern Cross again to catch bus to Canberra with Greyhound. Cheaper than flying and fed up with airport tranfsers, though was to take 9 hours each way. Driver was an arsehole making terrible jokes all the way, with his blotchy skinned legs and socks pulled up to his knees. Stopped halfway in Albury to have a break in a cafe which the ceiling was leaking into bukcets everywhere, even though it was not raining? The driver waited for tall and small to buy takeaway teas before telling them they were not allowed on the bus, so in the bin... About an hour away from Canberra the bus stopped, the driver was not happy with the door, it kept opening as he was driving. He waved down a car and got htem to lock the bus door from the outside and pass the keys in through window. The couple drove off and left us. Driver the tried to start bus, it would not go. So now 20 odd passengers locked inside a bus in 34 degree heat on side of motorway. He made bad jokes again, but small one told him that wasn';t good enough and he kept shut after that. Finally bus started somehow and got to Canberra 45 minutes late. At the depot he had to phone someone to come out and unlock door from outside. Checked in to Hotel, which was nice enough, very small room, and a lot of stuff not sure if it was free or not so tried not to touch anything.
Wednesday 2nd February 2011
News all day on tv was about the Cyclone Yasi which was set to destory Cairns, Townsville, and tropical north. We locked ourselves out the flat forgetting our keys when we went to post office Tall's Canada application. It was our own fault as we'd also hidden allt he spare keys for our flat in our room, so Stacey or Rohan could not go in. Now there was no spare set so had to wait for Gunnar to turn up with a ladder and go in through the window. Rohan had left a big mess, and seemed to have hostel paperwork eveyrwhere. Managed t avoid too much work related stuff as was not due back for another week. The doorbell for hostel went at 3am and some girl said she'd checked in but not given a key, we asked why she had gone out till 3am knwoing she could not get back in. Rohan had not given her a key supposedly as they had all broken??
Tuesday 1st February 2011
Spent borin day in hobart. Weather too bad to climb the Mt Wellington Lookout. Took Pascal to cinema to see True Grit where the cinema seemed to be full of men on crutches, and Pascal could not understand a word of dialouge in the movie. Everywhere seemed to close at 5pm that day, and nightmare to get food even then. Met the Russian girl who showed us her Melbourne photos. We saw she'd been to Sky Deck in Melbourne, then noticed it was on the same day as us, then managed to find our photos on oir old SD card and even found one picture of her in the background... bloody Russian spies she was on to us even before we had met on the tour. Caught the plane back in the evening. Plane was delayed hour and a half and so missed the prepaid Jet Bus transfer who said they'd not wait till after midight. Caught another skybus in to City and had to walk back at 2am, stopping to buy a pie from pieface shop, pointing out a cockroach to the cashier serving us which was sat in the pie display.
Monday 31st January 2011
As usual last day and Yank and Belgium wait for Travis to pack the trailer solid before they bring their bags out. It really was a very small trailer though which took 45 minutes to pack. The mini bus only bareley seemed to make it round the island, going 5mph up hills. Stopped at a Remarkable cave which was not so remarkable, other than a supposed formation in shape of Tasmania. But then a remarkable fast boat trip down to Tasman island. Saw some great cave and cliffs formations, seal colonies, seals jumping and playing in ater, big albatross sea birds, penguins and then wild bottle nosed dolphins, about 15 of them jumping, flipping and chasing the front fot he boat. The only downside was small one sat in a huge poncho to keep warm, kept farting, or was it Pascal??
On to Tasmanian Devil Conservation Park, at 2.30pm where Travois announced we'd be here a few hours just after telling Stewart and Joyce he'd get them to the airport before 4pm. The toilets were flooded, but the baby Tas devils where nice. He feeding an anticlimax where the ranger dropped food in one spot only so the 40 spectators could see nothing. Got to Hobart and everyone departed. Later all met up in an Irish Puib called Sydney Bar? Where they had a session going on and they had booked us a room to eat in. The room turned out to be a very quiet, formal board room with white boards everywhere, so went down to eat in bar. Small one ende dup buiying the boys shots, and Travis wanted to take everyone on clubbing. Small and Tall turned and ran away when they weren't lookin and went to bed after a low pressure shower.
Sunday 30th January 2011
Long wait for toilet in morning before heading down to Coles Bay to Climb Mt Amos to see Wineglass Bay. Not as hot as previous day, but nice enough. Stewart and Joyce the 60 year old Candians almost killed themselves climbing, they were exhausted but never wanted to admit it. Ending up with cut hands and legs from falling and struggling on the rocks so much. Forgot to take food along and so the 3 hour hike was a very hungry time. At the bottom Travis cooked everyone toasted sanshwiches of which Small one made too many. Belgium guy watched and did nothing. Then Tall, Dutch and Pascal had a cold swim in the water. Small was stuck on shore lsitening to the yank telling the girls how in his Asian trip they had all loved him and wanted him to marry their daugthers as he was so rich and reminded them of Budha cos of his gut?? Down to Port Arthur historic town, where again the showers were fought over, but this time were already dirty. View from dorm here was of a graveyard! Sat down for a nice BBQ dinner (tours last), Travis told us all a long story of how in 1996 a man had killed 35 people in this very small town. Going to a cafe with an elderly relative, then coming back to shoot the relative and customers, then going on to a shop, a coffee shop then a hotel. He was imprisoned but kept asking 'did I makie the record?'. Travis told us so we didn't have to ask questions of the local guides who all had family killed. During this whole speech the Jap Tanaka filmed it on his phone, but did not understand english so just was filiming for a joke the english girls eating their food ion close-up and kept turning the phone round to wave at himself, while in the background this massacre story continued. On to the Ghost Tour around the ruins at night. Tanaka came with us despite not knowing any english. The tour guide and the non-adventure tour tourists got a bit pissed off as the Jap kept running off from the group and waitig ahead of them for a good ten minutes or so in the dark in a bush and then would come out with his coat over his head going 'BOOOO!'. It was a strange tour, with two very very camp men who joined us, and Pascal and Small one always needing a piss and just going in the dark on the ruins.
Saturday 29th January 2011
Morning dropped off the young Candian girl travelling alone to catch the ferry, while a new 5 people joined the tour. Three english girls who kept to themselves. A very loud American giuy in 40's who kept going on about his stocks, and shares and how he could travel on his own finances for years to come. Lastly a Belgium guy who would nto stop talking crap, such as preusming tall one was from Scandinavia? And telling Small one how the irish spoke an ddi impressions?? It did not endeaur him to everyone, not with that lisp especially... In to Laucneston and the Cataract Gorge walk, although seemed to be a river not a gorge? The american asked Tall to take a photo of him and when he handed the camera back the yank did not say thanks just said 'did you get me in focus??'. Saw some peacocks there and hung around a lot for the Belgium guy who always seemed ot be last... probably as everyone else walked so fast to getaway form him. On to Legerwood where some old trees had been carved to look like Australian WWI vets, though they all looked like Japs?? Now over to East Coast to Bay of Fire, great beaches. White sand and turquoise waters. Avodied the Belgium guy who kept chasing ater people to make friends with. Nice orange ro cks there and some high surf. Brought beer and drank on bus again, stayed night in Bicheno where someone kept leaving front door wide open all night. Played some half tipsy ping pong with Pascal, Ginger Dutch guy Danny, Jap Tanaka. Tanaka was the worst. In the end we changed the game to who could smash the ball the hardest, then the Yank came in and sat there all condescneind watching, critiscing Tall one for saying 'bat' instead of 'paddle'.
Friday 28th January 2011
Cradle Mountain 6 Hour return hike... The morning was freezing, with mists lying voer lake and mount, and everyone wrapping up. By midday it was blue skies and scorching hot, in shorts with sun cream on. A tiring walk with the Canadian women swinging her hiking stick in Conor's face all the time. Dolorious, the Swiss girl marched miles ahead of everyone, only to keep taking the wrong track and be called back by Travis. Tall one's trainers fell apart too, but it was a great walk with a fantastic view. Then on to Sheffield where the old town had murial paintings over each building. Tall one brought new trainers which were the cheapest ins tock, but bright silver?! After dropping off the french and canadian at their motel the bus ran out of petrol and we waited embarrsed on the side of the road, until we all travelled on and ghot takeaways for the night.
Thursday 27th January 2011
Walk round harbour of Strahan in morning, noticed how the kayaking on the iterary had not happened. Lots of ducks about trying to get inside a bakery there as well. On to Ocean Beach where a half naked old Aussie man with a huge, matted white beard stroleld about. Henley Sand Dunes for a walk and then 50 minute quad bike tour. On to Montezuma Falls a 3 hour walk through forest and back. Near the end Tall one went round the corner to see the Candian women with her trousers and knickers round her ankle sin a bush and her husband also in there somewhere. Either they enjoyed exciting sex or needed a wee. Very impressive falls. Just had two leeches on the legs on way back, but was only time it rained as well. Back in van stories of leeches got Stewart (the canadian man) worried and paranoid, he whispered to his wife to check his arse when they got to the hotel. Then a small leech appeared sliming up the floor of the van, it had come off the ginger dutch lad. After Stewarts kind attempts to kill with a crisp packet and a cigeratte lighter small one stomped on it with his boot causing it to explode blood about 2 feet across the floor fo the van. Stewart jumped like a little girl, and was jumpy all the way to the hotel. Arrived at Cradle Mountain National Park where someone cooked onions and made all 17 people had sour eyes waiting in the kitchen, Tanaka took photos of everybody and numbered them along with their names on paper, it was a painful process. Had a well needed shower at 10:30pm only to see the two leech bites started to bleed again, 5 hours later! Couldn't wait to tell Stewat.
Wednesday 26th January 2011
Adventure Tours mini bus picked us up at 6am, only to drive round City for more pick ups for another hour, including back to our same pickup half an hour later. Then after all that stopped at their office for us all to get out and sign disclaimers... why not ask everyone to meet there?? The driver was an over laid back Aussie called Travis, with a pony tail. The bus had 17 traveller sot start with, from under 20's through to 60 year old couples... A wide spectrum of nationailities, from Canada, Russia, Holland, Sweden, Switzerland, Ireland, England, Italy, Japan, France, America, Belgium and Australia. Small and Tall sat at the back of the bus behind the 60 year old Canadian couple who turned out very nice, even having a few beers at on the bus with them. They had travelled everywhere and had lots of tips and stories from all over the world. Small one asked them if they had many beers in Canada, to which they listed some breweries, only to be corrected that he had actually said 'Bears'?? The Swiss guy named Pascal moved to sit with them at the back after another Swiss girl with crazy staring eyes and a very loud obnoxious voice kept talking to him. Pascal would not stop apologizing for her being from his country, even though he did not know her. There was a nice young Dutch couple who seemed to be breaking up throughout the trip and always seemed to be waiting to go into the toilet while Tall one was passing solids. The Japanese guy named 'Tanaka' could speak very little english, and stood for a good ten minutes trying to list english tennis players. Small one struggled with his name all week, only getting it correct at the end of the week. The small tiny, young Japanse girl had large teeth, and had a nervous giggly way of talking to everyone why she mysteriously rubbed her tummy with her hands. The mid aged Swedish couple were quite nice, but seemed to make bad jokes all the time and had expected better food and accomodation. The old, fat Bald French man travelling alone also seemed to complaine ach day about the iteranry being wrong, to which Travis kept waving it away saying it was shit mate. The Frenchman 'Michelle' chatted to Tall and Small about his travels, which went roughyl like this “on err Friday I was err in Bangkok.... Saturday I was in err, Bangkok, then err on Sunday I was in.... Bangkok. Monday.... Bangkok, then I am here for one week, then Tuesday next err week I o to Bangkok, then the wednesday I in Bangkok, then I fly home@. I think he likes Bangkok, can't think why? Then there was the Russian girl who told us she'd been abused in dorms by Asian men and then all about how shit Aeroflot was (who we fly with from Moscow) (the Canadaian couple also had horror stories abou them). The Italian girl wa svery quiet, the English girl, never knew her name but only her nickname she told us was 'Pod'??
Anyway, the tour... 3 days up West Coast, then 3 days down east coast. All 5 nights accom paid for, along with most dinners, lunches and breakfasts, for $750.00. Stopped in Mt Field National Park, saw the Tall Tree Walk, horsehoe falls and the impressivbe Russell Falls. Lunch by a river where some people awkwardly did not want to get involved with cooking or washup, mostly the likes of French and Swedish, while the Japanese man Tanaka we could not stop him doing all the work for the week. Lake St Clair was next where their was a wild Echida. Queenstown mining town which was pretty desolate in middle of mountains, but here brought beer. Then accomodaion in Strahan where all the ceilings up stairs were very low. In share with Psacal, Tanaka. Tanaka slept on floor not in bed?
Tuesday 25th January 2011
Waited for Jet Bus pickup at 6am, did not show until 6.30am after phone calls. He then got lost picking up other people, we were worried we'd miss our 8am flight. Not impressed with JetBus. Melbourne airport was not thrilling, was served very bad coffee. Flight to Hobart also un thrilling, Small one slept. Hobart airport very small. Another bus transfer to the City. Checked into cheap hostel, nice enough, but terrible showers. Walked round City, nice sandstone buildings, Battery area nice with Salamanca markets. Went to Irish Murphy's Pub, and moved tabel our times after each table being either to wobbly, too near an ash tray, too hot or too cold... Then Tall one wanted a haircut and they found a cheap place for $20, with two seats only an old man with a Rolf Harris haircut, an Aussia drawl called Colin. It turned out he was a lunatic. All Tall one asked for was a trim on sides, the guy went mental with scissors, snip snip snip all jagged severe adges, no effort to get things in line or to layer, blend any hair. Half way through he said how's it looking? Tall one said 'it's interesting'. He thought the old man was on a win up. It became a little more respectable towards the end, but with a straight ish he-man fringe and a jagged odd lengthed sides, it was the worst haircut of his life. He had entertained the old man though who would not stop talking about how this was the first time he'd cut hair, and how Fez's were banned in parts of Morrocco??
Then a long walk looking for some hair dye to try and salvage Tall one's ravaged hair. Asking directions for a Woolworths supermarket in a newsagent, Small one got the reply 'Yes, still or sparkling?'. He said again, 'where is woolworths?', 'Yes we have still or sparkling'. Another person who struggled with accents. At night time the City shuts down, nothing open, nightmare to find food. Only place open was another convenient store who sold sandwiches and the young lad behind the counter on night shift played club music really loud while old men brought newspapers.
Sun 23rd – Monday 24th January 2011
Tall one's last working day for 2 weeks on sunday. Got Rohan back in to show more things for an hour, although most of that hour was him talking. Monday day off, bit of drinking, Sky Deck Eureka 88 Tower in evening. Went around sunset, highest view point in southern hemipshere, blur blur blur. Was nice lookout, did not pay for the expensive 'cube' experience?? Could not quite see The Corkman from their either.
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