Sunday 25th September 2011
Tall one had arranged for a day off work, it would be the first day for tall and small off together for about a month and a half. The Niagra Falls day trip was booked through tall one’s hostel, so he got one free ticket.
They picked up outside Canadiana Hostel at 9.10am along with half a dozen other guests which tall one had sold the Niagra tickets to the day before. Another hour of pickup sin Toronto before a 2 hour drive to Niagra. Tall and Small were both shattered and the bubbly, chirpy, wanna-be-comedian tour guide on the mic was a little tedious doing the same schtick he does everyday.
Half hour stop at the top of the falls with a direct look out down into the main Canadian falls horseshoe. Very wet and constant drizzle meant they were both soaked in less than a minute. Then down to the Maid of the Mist boat trip which went up the river to the foot of the Canadiana falls. It wasn‘t as wet as expected, seem to depend on the wind. Some poor woman on crutches from the coach had to struggle down the ramp to the loading bay and back up again. Weather was sunny all day as well, so only got wet from the falls.
A walk round the town of Clifton hill itself, which was all pretty tacky with bad wax works and amusement machines. A ride round the sky view wheel for a good lookout along with a Wendy’s burger. Then back on the bus around 3pm.
There were some scheduled stops at a vineyard and Niagra-On-The-Lake. However the bus broke down for an hour by the side of the road and we had to wait while listening the the guide trying to do some group motivating jokes.... Then due to the delay we had to miss the vineyard stop but were given a mouthful of wine on the bus which they brought from a liquor store – as if we were all alcoholics only along for the wine tasting itself and not to actually see a vineyard. Niagra on the Lake was a nice, old-style scenic town by the lake, it was just coming into Autumn (of Fall) and so the leaves were nice colours. Finally back to the City at around 8pm and dropped off on Jarvis street by the Garden Hilton Hotel. The guide desperately peddled for tips, but got none. The falls were well worth a visit, shame they had turned the town around it into a naff Las Vegas instead of keeping it more like Niagra-On-The-Lake.
Thursday 8th September – Saturday 24th September 2011
Another mouse in the house! After another week of the peanut butter being licked clean caught a big fat mouse (looked more like a small rat). Then the licking continued, and no such luck with this new mouse hunt. Brought some pink rat poison from the dollar store (probably just sherbet) and the new mouse (or mice) seem to have taken the bait this last week, so will see if the smell of rotting rodent soon comes to us.
Small one still knackered at work. Promoted to supervisor working mon-fri 11.30am till 8.30pm he has had to deal with all the tantrums of the staff who seem to turn to a ball of tears from being told their shift is changing by an hour. Even a full grown man burst into tears when small one told him he was chatting to much and was missing dirt on his cleaning route. Work gave him a blackberry phone to take calls from staff when they couldn’t show up, small one had it a few days and it went off 5-6 times a morning with a woman asking to speak to “David”. He gave the phone back to them and said he didn’t want it and suggested there was nothing he could do on his day off for staff who couldn’t come in ill anyway??
Tall one was being given more reception shifts. Either the 8.30am till 5pm or 5pm till 1.30am shifts. The evening ones meant that some days he wouldn’t see the small one at all. He also got $1 pay rise which was very exciting. Tall one is still very bemused how some of those staff have kept their jobs. With the middled aged alcoholic still not turning up some days at all, and the American skater lad having a big argument with a guests who looked at him funny and threatened to hit the “fuckin faggot” – this was over heard by the Manager who told him to remember that he did work here. The little Chinese girl “Yoko” who cleans the toilets came into reception one morning and said to tall one “do you know bastard?”. Tall one asked her to repeat and she said again “do you know bastard?”. Tall one said “sorry bastard, who do you mean?”. She repeated “do you know English bastard?”. Tall one was thinking the many Irish staff had finally rubbed off on her. Then she continued with “boy band bastard??”. Tall one finally clicked and said “oh Busted?! The boy band... didn’t they split up ten years ago?”. Yoko responded, “yes they did, I like bastard, i like James he’s cute... see you later” and that was that. On the many walks back from the hostel to home Tall one had covered every possible route just to entertain himself to a small degree. He had also got to know many of the tramps faces, and on Dundas Street had been offered packets of cigerattes or a single block of cheese for purchase?
One Thursday evening tall and small shared off work they headed up the CN tower. It was a long elevator ride up and was a lot higher than expected. The restaurant was about $15 for a soup so they waited till they left and brought a $3 hotdog by the Rogers Centre. One night small one was woken up by shouting and looked out the window to see some policeman chasing a man on the roof tops over the road, the policeman were shouting “stop you gook bastard!”, of course this all sounded like a dream to tall one. The following nights all they saw were racoons outside the window which were now coming out more and more as the weather was getting colder. The skin tag removal kit brought from shopper drugs mart finally killed the tag under his arm after almost 2 months of use. It finally turned the human rice crispy into a sultana then it fell off.... nice story.
Wednesday 31st August - Wednesday 7th September 2011
Matt Romot was leaving Canada to go back to Melbourne, so met him for a farewell drink in The Imperial (the same pub we met Padraig off the bus and was overcharged twice). Sat outside on balcony with his friend Jack again, next to some piss head betting everyone he could down a glass faster than anyone, next to two lesbians sitting with their knickers up in the air. When the lesbians left, one of them left their zippo lighter on the table which Mat pocket cheerfully. On Tall and small’s way out they reminded the Lesbian about her lighter just so she would go back in and get it off Matt.
Sat out the front of Pembroke House one night and chatted to a couple of the tenants, Max and William. William lived downstairs in the entire basement which had three entrances... he’d been here for 7 years. Max and William were pretty drunk and so was small one, so tall took small one to bed as he was up in a few hours for work. They did find out from William that Mr Dennis owned 3 hostels in this block, and seemed to use a completely different name other than Dennis at each one.
Small was working long 12 hour shifts for the opening week of the Eaton Centre’s new food court. Given an ear piece like a CSI he was complimented by all the food stalls he delivered plates to as well as the food court managers, who al presumed he was also a manager or a supervisor. He had turned down supervisor role, and so the role was given to a couple of young lads who had since walked out on the job, they found out when they found his uniform just dumped on the floor after he’d gone missing. Finally small one’s hours were sorted at 8.30am till 5pm, but he was still run ragged all day pushing trolleys of plates and strangled by his shirt and red tie. Tall one went to meet him at work one day and was given a free phone voucher by a man dressed as a Gorilla.
Tall one was still waiting to get set hours at Canadiana backapckers, with the manager on honeymoon for 2 weeks and the assistant manager leaving in a week he was getting more idea of his role. The other new girl was becoming more of a spare part, and she wasn’t being trusted with any reception shifts. Still tall one was enjoying his walks to work, stepping over the sleeping tramps with piss stains from their crotch to their shoes. Stopping off for a coffee in Tim Hortons, as he walked in a tramp in a stained white t-shirt held the door for him and asked if he had change for a coffee. Tall one said “yes that’s why i’m going in”. Then on one of the night shifts he was training for, on the walk home he saw the infamous unicycle man, dressed in a Bon Jovi t-shirt and purple trousers who travelled around the Church and Jarvis street area a good 5 ft off the ground on his unicycle. A mother and child look wondrously at him and the child shouted to him “where are you going!?”, the unicycle man gave the kid an evil eye and kept cycling. Tall one was exhausted more from the double shifts and the endless walk to work and back, compared to tiredness from the work itself. Over the next few weeks though he was promised less doubles and more single reception shifts.
Sunday 28th – Tuesday 30th August 2011
Toronto was filled this week with the death of some Canadian politician Jack Layton. The Cities people took to the streets armed with coloured chalk and wrote tributes all up the paving slabs, concrete footways and walls surrounding the new town hall. It was nice to see people acting like lunatics in a positive way for a change.
Though n update on this weeks lunatics include a white bearded man walking along Queen Street running up to people waiting to cross the road and trying to kick them in the face, then running off laughing and doing it to someone else. There was also another tramp on Queen street sat with some pale girl holding a cardboard sign saying “I’m McHungry and I ain’t Lovin’ It”.
The worst lunatic of the week however goes to the tramp on Dundas Street spotted by small one on his way into town. This smelly old man walking in front of him had his hand down the back of his trousers, looked like he was having a good old scratch down there. But then after a minute or more he took his hand out his trousers clutching a handful of his own excrement which he shook off his hand onto the pavement just outside Pizza Hut, then kept on walking. A few hours later small one came back past the same lump of excrement which had by now turned hard and black and was covered with bees. You could really write some great poetry in this City....
A quick work update has small one starting in the Eaton Centre food court for a trial run on Tuesday afternoon, before the grand opening this Thursday. Given black trousers and a shirt about 6 times to big, he got the trousers turned up but still found that the trousers crotch was hanging down between his legs. Luckily he had brought some second hand trousers in a thrift store. Tall one was meanwhile being worked to death with doubles at Canadiana, but now thankfully had three days off in a row. Next week the manager was on a 2 week holiday and the same second week the assistant manager was leaving for good and so some regular hours will hopefully be worked out.
Thursday 25th – Saturday 27th August 2011
Finally caught Jerry! Was watching Criminal Minds when the trap went off inside the oven. The peanut butter did it, and Jerry was dead to rights, he was very small though and we suspected he may have family still residing inside the broken oven and so kept the traps out.
After the excitement of killing a mouse Tall one went to work and was given four days in a row doing doubles of 9am-2pm then 7pm-9/10.30pm. They seemed like very long days and as the walk to work was half an hour each way was walking 2 hours a day.... To top it off he’d burnt his thumb on a pop tart and was suffering from a bad blister all week. Work was a bit weird at the moment as full of language students so very few check in and outs. The students are all a bit wet behind the ears, one lad asked tall one how to cook instant noodles and the lad showef tall one how he was trying to cook them in a plastic takeaway tub filled with cold water in the microwave... tall one had to show him what an oven top and a saucepan looked like. There was also some girl who was opening about 20 of those little UHT Milk cartons and pouring them into a glass to get a glass of milk, opposed to paying the 75c for a carton.
Tall was struggling to understand how some of the staff were still working there. After the night shift guy got drunk and put his head through the glass door and woke up covered with blood needing stitching . Then Vera the loud blonde woman who organized a 10pm Club night, then just got drunk and never showed up (but yet everyone seemed to just laugh it off as if that’s what they expected to happen). Finally the young American skater type lad who talks a load of shit all morning and on Friday punched a guest in the throat for knocking his sun glasses off. All very interesting. But it is Toronto, and he’d noticed on the way to work in the mornings the streets are lined with tramps lying asleep in the middle of the path on sheets of card board. It’s like walking through some plague epidemic, having to step over bodies on the path every block, and its the same every morning.
Meanwhile small one was taking it easy before the food court job started on Thursday. Most days seeing if he could go 24 hours without leaving the flat or seeing daylight. He did however manage to catch the mummy mouse, presumably Jerry senior. Small even filmed the mummy as she lay choking to death kicking her back legs out as she died. Of course small did get out the house occasionally, and even went food shopping one day where outside No Frills supermarket a tramp with his begging cup in hand was screaming at some woman that she was a bitch, and small one thought it would be a good idea to give him $1.75 a wish him a good weekend. Small also encountered another weirdo who was pointing at some poor woman’s dog and shouting that the dog must be a robot. Hmmm. How tall and small have not been killed in this City is a miracle.
Wednesday 24th August 2011
Padraig’s last day with tall and small. As he was getting over his throat infection decided to go out to Toronto Island, though today the weather was pissing with rain. Stopped in the Union Train station to pick up Padraig’s train ticket to New York for 8am the next morning., though the Amtrak ticket desk is only open from 6am till 1pm it was closed for 1 hour (10-11am) for the woman’s lunch break!! After a long wait got the tickets, went for lunch in PJ OBriens Irish Bar, where we were served three cups of tea by an Irish girl and Padraig moaned that the cauliflower soup had too much blue cheese in it.
Headed out to the Island, $6.50 return. Walked from Ward’s harbour to the centre, Ward’s end was almost deserted. The centre was filled with children and a naff fun fair ride. Got lost trying to find the next ferry out of there. Got home exhausted from so much walking. Tall one went out to buy some semi skimmed milk and on the way home a man on a bicycle came past and looked at him and said “would you like to suck my arse you fucking arsehole!”.
That night there was a very long, dramatic lightning storm across Toronto. Early next morning Padraig left for New York where it was then announced a hurricane was coming.
Thursday 18th – Tuesday 23rd August 2011
Out foxed by that dastardly mouse again!! Now with all 3 glue traps and all four mouse traps baited with sugar puffs, fruit cake and cheddar around our small kitchen, Thursday afternoon tall one sat on the bed reading saw the little mouse creep out from under the oven and step around all the traps and come and head into the bedroom. When tall one moved he darted back under the oven and preceded to peep out now and again while tall and small sat waiting for him armed with large ice creams brought from a passing ice cream van on Pembroke street. Round two to the mouse.
Small one’s brother Padraig came, had a tour of Toronto with small one and said that Harlem was a safer place that here. Mr Dennis had kindly provided him with a small room downstairs with no air con, and so sweating it out all night Padraig ended up with a throat infection. Saturday morning Mr Dennis’ colleague knocked on Padraig’s door and said she was showing an American student round.
The next step with the mouse, now known as Jerry, was to add peanut butter to the traps. After some internet research it is apparently irresistible to them. However on the morning of Monday it was found he’d managed to lick the peanut butter clean off two of the traps without setting them off.... round three to Jerry....
Small one finished his last shift at Eaton centre food court on Thursday, then on the Monday evening started his new job at The Pickle Barrel Bar/ Restaurant up from Dundas square. He was told it would just be a couple of hours watching food orders to get to know the food. He was there for 7 put behind a manic bar, with a rude, arrogant foreign bar man (“keep out of my way!”) who was to show him how to make the 52 cocktails on their list. This as on top of the 300 food items to learn on the menu. While working he found out if customers under pay the server in charge of there table has to pay for their food out their wages. On that night a girls group table left leaving the cash for payment on the table but under paid by $50. She was told it was coming out her wages.... until a hour later one of the group came back and said how one of the group got home bragging how he did not throw in so they made him pay and came back. Small also found out, when he poured a pint of Bud instead of Bud Light that any miss-pours were to come out his wages as well, unless you can resell the drink to a customer. At the end of the night small got home a wreck and vowed not to go back. E-mailed the Eaton centre woman and managed to get his food court job back to start Thursday next week.
Meanwhile tall one was going well in Candiana hostel on his fifth week now and finally given full time hours. It was a good sign they were pleased with him as the other new person who started the week before him for training was only being given 15 hours a week. When he came to do his first full shift covering reception on his own with only the new girl as back up on the Monday he found out why. She did not have a clue what tall one was doing with all the electronic booking systems, she kept asking what are you doing now, can you show me this and that, ooh you’ve got notes thats a good idea..... and she started before him and has had the same training. The Sunday had been very busy with 50 language students checking in, a busy morning where previous guests had not checked out and had gone for the day, and with 50 students waiting to check in all the previous guests stuff had to be thrown out into the hallway, their locker padlocks cut off and their belongings al brought to reception. They weren’t happy when they showed up after going out for the day to find all there stuff sitting in a corridor. Tall had to field lots of bizarre calls on reception. One woman phoned up and said she wasn’t staying with us but did we know how to get to another hostel called Castle Backpackers.... The new girl answered and gave her directions, then 5 minutes ater she phoned back and tall one answered. She said she still did not understand the directions to get to this hostel and started listing off subway stops down the phone to him, tall one stopped her and said “so hang on what hostel is it you are going to?” “the Castle Inn like i said” “well might i suggest you call the actual hostel and ask them for directions??” “well i have been trying but they don’t answer...” tall one could not blame them. Tall one had also had to go to a staff meal on the Thursday evening as it was 3 staff’s birthdays that month. The meal had been hyped up for weeks as the cleaner Teresa (little Spanish lady?) was cooking and her food was hyped to he incredible. Even when tall one came to be queuing for the food they were still telling him that this was going to be an experience for him.... Well it wasn’t, maybe it was the hype, but it all seemed to be very greasy food. Tall one was the only one who didn’t finish his meal. He then left after an hour and didn’t say goodbye, he doesn’t like saying goodbye, not too keen on big group dinners either.
Back at Pembroke, Padraig was coughing his guts up with a sore throat and chest infection. Tuesday morning had a trip up town to buy some heavy duty mouse traps.... this was war.... Came back with two heavy duty traps. One old style about the size of a shoe, and the other a different, plastic clip design which was supposed to be more effective. He was surely dead this time...??
Friday 12th August – Wednesday 17th August 2011
Tall and Small both working this week. Small was to give up and hand in his notice to the Eaton Centre food court on the Wednesday after finding out that his wage wasn’t all that good as out of that has to come non refundable contributions to Canada Pension, Canada Employment Insurance, Union Contributions and Tax. He did manage to salvage the bar job at The Pickled Barrel just up from Dundas Square, who he blew out on the Monday but went in Tuesday and was told they had still not found anyone and he’d be welcome. Expecting to make $50-$200 extra a day on tips he went with that one.
The week he worked for the Eaton centre was still surreal. Unpacking the endless crates and palettes of plates and trays for the new food court. Stuck working with a lot of 18 year olds. Oneday he was working with a young black fella and a young Korean guy. The Korean guy hadn’t said a word to anybody since arriving and blurts out to small and the black fella “How do you get girls? I’ve never had one... how do you go about it”. The black fellas responce was that he was “a nigger and just raped them in the park!”. I think his joke was lost on the nervous Korean guy. They told him he should go to the pub but him and the Korean were a year too young to drink anyway, and after many discussions about first and second and third bases the Korean guy said that they should all go out at Christmas time when he turns 19 and help him get a girlfriend. Small and the black fella agreed, and the Korean guy got their phone numbers and told them they’d not see him again as he was only working part time evening shifts when they were on full time day shifts, so “see you in December!”.
Meanwhile Tall one was progressing in the hostel job, despite having a very bad sore throat, probably brought about by the endless air con needed in that flat. Working with a curious bunch of people, including a middle aged Canadian woman with bleach blonde hair with pink tips who will not shut up abou her problems to everyone, and on the Friday Tal showed up to find her pissed in the laundry room, could not even press a button without help. She was supposed to be doing the wine and cheese night an hour prior, had not even started but had drunk a bottle of vodka.... jesus. Somehow she managed to get the cheese and wine out 2 hours late, and walked round the hostel drumming up business by shouting “get the fuck out here” to the residents.... The owner was here for all of this and never spoke to her, she seems to be just put up with? A lot of training on reception for tall one for a full 8 hour day shift, finally given 37 hours next week compared to the 15 he’d been getting for the last 3 weeks (twice as much as the other new girl who started a week before him). Taking a lot of strange phone calls, and a lot of people expecting you to be bilingual and be able to speak fluent Spanish or French? One guy phoned up, sounded Mexican asking o speak to a Kevin. No Kevin works here sorry. Okay, when he work? Kevin doesn’t work here.... Ok what is Kevin’s number.... I don’t know any Kevin this is a hostel is he staying here?..... Kevin at work?..... Kevin works for you does he?..... Where is Kevin what his number?..... I don’t know Kevin if you give me his last name and if he is staying here i can give him a message thats all?..... oh I have extension number for Kevin oput me through to 6678..... we don’t have any extensions here for Kevin, this is a hostel.... okay put me through to Kevin..... i can’t i said... what number is reception..... this is reception you are speaking to..... what is number for reception..... the same number you dialled you called me.... ok it is fine goodbye. The guy hangs up, then 10 seconds later the phone goes Hello Canadiana Backpackers.... hello yes put me through ot extenson 6678..... i just spoke to you and i told you we have no extension numbers, no phones in room, this is a backpackers Kevin has given you the wrong info. It was a long day.
Back at 96 Pembroke Street in our flat Small one had thought he’d seen a mouse behind the oven, so on Tuesday tall one went ut and brought some large mouse traps. Setting the traps up either side of the oven, with big lumps of cheese Tall one felt like some kind of Tom and Jerry cartoon. Meanwhile the smoke alarm went off again, this time it was the Asian fella living directly below them (who plays quite loud computer games at night) and tall one found him fanning the smoke alarm with a tea towel, wearing just a t shirt and pants. Small and Tall had both noticed that this was all they ever saw this guy wearing, no matter what time of day, just t shirt and pants.... it was as if he didn;t own a pair of trousers.
Wednesday came around and in the late afternoon Small One’s brother is coming to stay for a week. Small had asked landlord Mr Dennis to reserve him a room for Padraig a few weeks ago and was told yes yes fine. He had already paid and confirmed and re checked with Dennis each week. Now the day before Dennis tells him sorry we are full, your brother will have to stay 2 nights in his other hostel a few blocks over.... Small one was firm and said, No he’d paid a lot of money for this room and given plenty of notice, it had to be in one of these houses here at 94/94 Pembroke Street. Mr Dennis then spent the night re furbishing one of the run down student rooms in 96, and was still sweating away as usual on Wednesday morning. Small one double checked and Mr Dennis said it would all be ready by the evening...... Meanwhile up in the flat that dastardly mouse had got away with the two lumps of cheese from both mouse traps without springing them. He may have won this round but Tall one baited the traps differently this time so he could not just take the cheese without having to steps on the trap.
Thursday 11th August 2011
Small one had another day unpacking packs of boxes for the food court, Tall one had another day checking beds and checking people in and out of the hostel. Neither still had full time hours for the month, as Tall one was still training on 15-20 hours a week and small one had sporadic days of training and unpacking until the start on 1st Sept.
Small one came back from work today to find a tramp with a shopping trolley parked up inside our garden. He had our dustbin open and was tearing open our black bags of garbage and rifling through chucking out any cans or bottles onto his trolley to claim back the 10c a can. Small one went back down with our box of 24 empty Candian beer bottles and gave them to him. The tramp said he was respecting our privacy and would put everything back once he’d checked through it all, he then clocked the brand of beer and said the people here used to drink Corona... perhaps they moved out.
Tuesday 9th – Wednesday 10th August 2011
Interesting role reversal, Small one started work today and tall one had 2 days off. Small one’s new job in the Eaton Centre Food Court (opening Sept 1st) started by sending him and 5 other new employees to the 27th floor of the office building to receive palettes and palettes of new crockery and trays and unpack it. These palettes were sent up in the lift and will later be sent back down to be washed... Many many hours of unwrapping and piling plates over and over again. Good view of the City though, even though small one got a headache from going up and down that lift so many times. The first day they brought everyone pizzas, which the bill came to $200! He said they wouldn’t be doing that again. The next day they were given a bag of hot coffee, dohnuts and cans of Coke Zero. On small one’s way back walking up Dundas Street he could here some violent sounds of vomiting behind him and turned, seeing no one. Carrying on the vomiting sounds continued, he noticed other pedestrians also looking around for the source of this very loud sound. Then he saw it, a tramp riding a bike in the road was slumped forward over the handle bars throwing up as he rode over the vomit that hit the ground.... nice.
Tall one had a wonder round the City on his day off, paying the expensive phone bill, cinema and flag shopping. He thought he’d try and explore the famous underground path system which covered the whole of the CBD. Entering by the new town hall he went up and down various stairs, struggling to find any clear signs except for ones which said “Wolf” “Goose”
“Pig”? It was all very confusing and after 20 minutes went back up above ground only to find he’d come up about 10 foot away from where he had first entered it. Sitting for a coffee in Tim Hortons later on, Tall one watched out the window as a hand ful of large hale stones fell from the sky and landed in the road outside. It was a bit bizarre as it was quite a hot summers day and he noticed pedestrians stopping to look at these hale stones. When he left the coffee place he looked for himself only to see that it was loads of chips of marble size glass that had fallen from one of the many very tall, modern sky scrapers above. Whatever had fallen was broke before it hit the ground, he felt like a CSI, but decided not to pursue the investigation.
On his way back to the flat a crazy woman dressed quite normally but with a big mole on the side of her nose was walking the other way. She (like most of the other crazy people in the City) was arguing very loudly to herself and gesturing very widely with spread arms. Tall one took a side step to avoid her swinging arms only to be accosted by her aggressively asking what all that side stepping was about when he saw her coming? Tall one told her he did not know and her response was that he ought to be careful cos he’d get a bullet in his head.... nice.
Tuesday 2nd August – Monday 8th August 2011
Another fun week in Toronto. You can’t throw a rock in this City without hitting someone severely mentally ill. On tall one’s walk home from work he past a middle aged woman dressed in Tartan trousers lying on her side on the steps of the Old City Hall completely laughing her head off while clutching a kebab....? Just past her was a black guy at a traffic crossing kicking the hell out of the air.
Small one continued his job hunt, including a cafe in the extensive underground shopping mall and a bar job in a bowling alley, neither came off or matched the hourly wage of the food court job coming up in the Eaton Centre. The Eaton Centre food court agency had phoned small one to see if he could come in Monday coming as they were having 900 plates and sets of cutlery delivered and needed someone to unpack, check and wash each plate.... small one can’t wait.
Meanwhile tall and small had asked Mr Dennis to fix the grill in the top oven. He came up all sweaty after sitting despondently staring into space on the front doorsteps of the house for a good half an hour. He then started banging away at the top grill elements into something made a big bang and flash.... he had forgotten to unplug the oven. He left it for the night to get the part he needed next morning, so tea had to be made in the shared house kitchen the floor below. Next day he came and fixed it in half an hour, only for the thing to go bang again when we tried to bake Michael Caine’s jacket Potatoes in the oven. Dennis’ responce (sat on the doorstep again) was that he’d just replace it with one of those small mini oven/grill things.
Tall one continued his four day week, doing 4-5 hours a day on either morning or evening shift in Canadiana Backpackers. Last night a big black woman came and told him she’d blocked the toilet and to have a look. Tall one has not eaten since going into that bathroom, seeing that toilet filled completely to the brim of this brown stew, and having this big mumma telling him how she couldn’t look her room mates in the face anymore. There was also some young 20 year old student who had drunkenly set off fire extinguishers in the night and when approached about it by the manager the next morning her response was to set off the extinguisher again in front of the manager and then proceeded to throw the luggage of some other guests out the balcony. She was removed from the hostel and confirmed to be mentally unstable by her school. We then had t wait for the Japense girl to come back and be told her clothing was ruined. As the girl had set off fire extinguishers it had set off all the fire alarms, which in turn turned off all the hot water boilers. Everyone had been having cold showers all day, until that night the owner Chris got Tall one to come round and re-light the pilot lights with him. His method for doing this was to get a bit of rolled up newspaper, set fire to one end and wave it about under the gas tank until the pilot light took fire... Tall one barely made it home alive that night. On the way home in the middle of the night ruding up Dundas Street came a man riding a very tall unicycle. Peddling away with one hand held firmly over his crotch, it was a strange sight at 11.30pm. Another morning at Canadiana Backpackers Tall one was emptying ash trays in the patio when an Irish resident told him there was a Raccoon stuck in the fence. Sure enough there one was with his back leg stuck in a gap, while his body was scrabbling around the otherside. It was the first Raccoon tall one had seen, and when he told the manager he was told to get back to work while she dealt with it. That night small one took tall one ut for a drink in a small Irish Pub on Carlton. A strange place where they were given three taster pots of beer which steadily got worse and worse to taste. Board games were stacked high for people to play and the music being pumped out the speakers was old thirties jazz, the place didn’t seem to stack up properly so they left. Though small one went in for an interview a couple of days later, only to be told when he asked for the Chef who’d arranged it, that the Chef was not here and that he’d been doing this to interviewee’s all day.
On Tall one’s day off he went with Small one round the City and saw a few more sights, including the Baldwyn Steps, a couple of cafe/bars used in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World movie and lastly up to see the Casa Loma castle. The castle was $18 to go in, so walked round the car park for ten minutes before heading back. That evening small one found on facebook’s advert page an iron, ironing board and clothes horse for sale for $10 just off Bay Street on Charles. Headed up and into their tower block, had to press one of many buzzers to get through to the couple selling their stuff off, but could only remember the guys name as John, so looked for names with the initial ‘J’ that had a sirname sounding Irish. Guessed right and the guy took us upstairs into his $1200 a month flat which him and his girlfriend had decked out themselves for the year. They talked us into buying their alarm clock for $5 as well, but we could not take their $400 sofas.... They had been here a year and were now selling up and going home at the end of their trip, just as we were arriving and setting our flat up for the year.
Tall one had arranged for a day off work, it would be the first day for tall and small off together for about a month and a half. The Niagra Falls day trip was booked through tall one’s hostel, so he got one free ticket.
They picked up outside Canadiana Hostel at 9.10am along with half a dozen other guests which tall one had sold the Niagra tickets to the day before. Another hour of pickup sin Toronto before a 2 hour drive to Niagra. Tall and Small were both shattered and the bubbly, chirpy, wanna-be-comedian tour guide on the mic was a little tedious doing the same schtick he does everyday.
Half hour stop at the top of the falls with a direct look out down into the main Canadian falls horseshoe. Very wet and constant drizzle meant they were both soaked in less than a minute. Then down to the Maid of the Mist boat trip which went up the river to the foot of the Canadiana falls. It wasn‘t as wet as expected, seem to depend on the wind. Some poor woman on crutches from the coach had to struggle down the ramp to the loading bay and back up again. Weather was sunny all day as well, so only got wet from the falls.
A walk round the town of Clifton hill itself, which was all pretty tacky with bad wax works and amusement machines. A ride round the sky view wheel for a good lookout along with a Wendy’s burger. Then back on the bus around 3pm.
There were some scheduled stops at a vineyard and Niagra-On-The-Lake. However the bus broke down for an hour by the side of the road and we had to wait while listening the the guide trying to do some group motivating jokes.... Then due to the delay we had to miss the vineyard stop but were given a mouthful of wine on the bus which they brought from a liquor store – as if we were all alcoholics only along for the wine tasting itself and not to actually see a vineyard. Niagra on the Lake was a nice, old-style scenic town by the lake, it was just coming into Autumn (of Fall) and so the leaves were nice colours. Finally back to the City at around 8pm and dropped off on Jarvis street by the Garden Hilton Hotel. The guide desperately peddled for tips, but got none. The falls were well worth a visit, shame they had turned the town around it into a naff Las Vegas instead of keeping it more like Niagra-On-The-Lake.
Thursday 8th September – Saturday 24th September 2011
Another mouse in the house! After another week of the peanut butter being licked clean caught a big fat mouse (looked more like a small rat). Then the licking continued, and no such luck with this new mouse hunt. Brought some pink rat poison from the dollar store (probably just sherbet) and the new mouse (or mice) seem to have taken the bait this last week, so will see if the smell of rotting rodent soon comes to us.
Small one still knackered at work. Promoted to supervisor working mon-fri 11.30am till 8.30pm he has had to deal with all the tantrums of the staff who seem to turn to a ball of tears from being told their shift is changing by an hour. Even a full grown man burst into tears when small one told him he was chatting to much and was missing dirt on his cleaning route. Work gave him a blackberry phone to take calls from staff when they couldn’t show up, small one had it a few days and it went off 5-6 times a morning with a woman asking to speak to “David”. He gave the phone back to them and said he didn’t want it and suggested there was nothing he could do on his day off for staff who couldn’t come in ill anyway??
Tall one was being given more reception shifts. Either the 8.30am till 5pm or 5pm till 1.30am shifts. The evening ones meant that some days he wouldn’t see the small one at all. He also got $1 pay rise which was very exciting. Tall one is still very bemused how some of those staff have kept their jobs. With the middled aged alcoholic still not turning up some days at all, and the American skater lad having a big argument with a guests who looked at him funny and threatened to hit the “fuckin faggot” – this was over heard by the Manager who told him to remember that he did work here. The little Chinese girl “Yoko” who cleans the toilets came into reception one morning and said to tall one “do you know bastard?”. Tall one asked her to repeat and she said again “do you know bastard?”. Tall one said “sorry bastard, who do you mean?”. She repeated “do you know English bastard?”. Tall one was thinking the many Irish staff had finally rubbed off on her. Then she continued with “boy band bastard??”. Tall one finally clicked and said “oh Busted?! The boy band... didn’t they split up ten years ago?”. Yoko responded, “yes they did, I like bastard, i like James he’s cute... see you later” and that was that. On the many walks back from the hostel to home Tall one had covered every possible route just to entertain himself to a small degree. He had also got to know many of the tramps faces, and on Dundas Street had been offered packets of cigerattes or a single block of cheese for purchase?
One Thursday evening tall and small shared off work they headed up the CN tower. It was a long elevator ride up and was a lot higher than expected. The restaurant was about $15 for a soup so they waited till they left and brought a $3 hotdog by the Rogers Centre. One night small one was woken up by shouting and looked out the window to see some policeman chasing a man on the roof tops over the road, the policeman were shouting “stop you gook bastard!”, of course this all sounded like a dream to tall one. The following nights all they saw were racoons outside the window which were now coming out more and more as the weather was getting colder. The skin tag removal kit brought from shopper drugs mart finally killed the tag under his arm after almost 2 months of use. It finally turned the human rice crispy into a sultana then it fell off.... nice story.
Wednesday 31st August - Wednesday 7th September 2011
Matt Romot was leaving Canada to go back to Melbourne, so met him for a farewell drink in The Imperial (the same pub we met Padraig off the bus and was overcharged twice). Sat outside on balcony with his friend Jack again, next to some piss head betting everyone he could down a glass faster than anyone, next to two lesbians sitting with their knickers up in the air. When the lesbians left, one of them left their zippo lighter on the table which Mat pocket cheerfully. On Tall and small’s way out they reminded the Lesbian about her lighter just so she would go back in and get it off Matt.
Sat out the front of Pembroke House one night and chatted to a couple of the tenants, Max and William. William lived downstairs in the entire basement which had three entrances... he’d been here for 7 years. Max and William were pretty drunk and so was small one, so tall took small one to bed as he was up in a few hours for work. They did find out from William that Mr Dennis owned 3 hostels in this block, and seemed to use a completely different name other than Dennis at each one.
Small was working long 12 hour shifts for the opening week of the Eaton Centre’s new food court. Given an ear piece like a CSI he was complimented by all the food stalls he delivered plates to as well as the food court managers, who al presumed he was also a manager or a supervisor. He had turned down supervisor role, and so the role was given to a couple of young lads who had since walked out on the job, they found out when they found his uniform just dumped on the floor after he’d gone missing. Finally small one’s hours were sorted at 8.30am till 5pm, but he was still run ragged all day pushing trolleys of plates and strangled by his shirt and red tie. Tall one went to meet him at work one day and was given a free phone voucher by a man dressed as a Gorilla.
Tall one was still waiting to get set hours at Canadiana backapckers, with the manager on honeymoon for 2 weeks and the assistant manager leaving in a week he was getting more idea of his role. The other new girl was becoming more of a spare part, and she wasn’t being trusted with any reception shifts. Still tall one was enjoying his walks to work, stepping over the sleeping tramps with piss stains from their crotch to their shoes. Stopping off for a coffee in Tim Hortons, as he walked in a tramp in a stained white t-shirt held the door for him and asked if he had change for a coffee. Tall one said “yes that’s why i’m going in”. Then on one of the night shifts he was training for, on the walk home he saw the infamous unicycle man, dressed in a Bon Jovi t-shirt and purple trousers who travelled around the Church and Jarvis street area a good 5 ft off the ground on his unicycle. A mother and child look wondrously at him and the child shouted to him “where are you going!?”, the unicycle man gave the kid an evil eye and kept cycling. Tall one was exhausted more from the double shifts and the endless walk to work and back, compared to tiredness from the work itself. Over the next few weeks though he was promised less doubles and more single reception shifts.
Sunday 28th – Tuesday 30th August 2011
Toronto was filled this week with the death of some Canadian politician Jack Layton. The Cities people took to the streets armed with coloured chalk and wrote tributes all up the paving slabs, concrete footways and walls surrounding the new town hall. It was nice to see people acting like lunatics in a positive way for a change.
Though n update on this weeks lunatics include a white bearded man walking along Queen Street running up to people waiting to cross the road and trying to kick them in the face, then running off laughing and doing it to someone else. There was also another tramp on Queen street sat with some pale girl holding a cardboard sign saying “I’m McHungry and I ain’t Lovin’ It”.
The worst lunatic of the week however goes to the tramp on Dundas Street spotted by small one on his way into town. This smelly old man walking in front of him had his hand down the back of his trousers, looked like he was having a good old scratch down there. But then after a minute or more he took his hand out his trousers clutching a handful of his own excrement which he shook off his hand onto the pavement just outside Pizza Hut, then kept on walking. A few hours later small one came back past the same lump of excrement which had by now turned hard and black and was covered with bees. You could really write some great poetry in this City....
A quick work update has small one starting in the Eaton Centre food court for a trial run on Tuesday afternoon, before the grand opening this Thursday. Given black trousers and a shirt about 6 times to big, he got the trousers turned up but still found that the trousers crotch was hanging down between his legs. Luckily he had brought some second hand trousers in a thrift store. Tall one was meanwhile being worked to death with doubles at Canadiana, but now thankfully had three days off in a row. Next week the manager was on a 2 week holiday and the same second week the assistant manager was leaving for good and so some regular hours will hopefully be worked out.
Thursday 25th – Saturday 27th August 2011
Finally caught Jerry! Was watching Criminal Minds when the trap went off inside the oven. The peanut butter did it, and Jerry was dead to rights, he was very small though and we suspected he may have family still residing inside the broken oven and so kept the traps out.
After the excitement of killing a mouse Tall one went to work and was given four days in a row doing doubles of 9am-2pm then 7pm-9/10.30pm. They seemed like very long days and as the walk to work was half an hour each way was walking 2 hours a day.... To top it off he’d burnt his thumb on a pop tart and was suffering from a bad blister all week. Work was a bit weird at the moment as full of language students so very few check in and outs. The students are all a bit wet behind the ears, one lad asked tall one how to cook instant noodles and the lad showef tall one how he was trying to cook them in a plastic takeaway tub filled with cold water in the microwave... tall one had to show him what an oven top and a saucepan looked like. There was also some girl who was opening about 20 of those little UHT Milk cartons and pouring them into a glass to get a glass of milk, opposed to paying the 75c for a carton.
Tall was struggling to understand how some of the staff were still working there. After the night shift guy got drunk and put his head through the glass door and woke up covered with blood needing stitching . Then Vera the loud blonde woman who organized a 10pm Club night, then just got drunk and never showed up (but yet everyone seemed to just laugh it off as if that’s what they expected to happen). Finally the young American skater type lad who talks a load of shit all morning and on Friday punched a guest in the throat for knocking his sun glasses off. All very interesting. But it is Toronto, and he’d noticed on the way to work in the mornings the streets are lined with tramps lying asleep in the middle of the path on sheets of card board. It’s like walking through some plague epidemic, having to step over bodies on the path every block, and its the same every morning.
Meanwhile small one was taking it easy before the food court job started on Thursday. Most days seeing if he could go 24 hours without leaving the flat or seeing daylight. He did however manage to catch the mummy mouse, presumably Jerry senior. Small even filmed the mummy as she lay choking to death kicking her back legs out as she died. Of course small did get out the house occasionally, and even went food shopping one day where outside No Frills supermarket a tramp with his begging cup in hand was screaming at some woman that she was a bitch, and small one thought it would be a good idea to give him $1.75 a wish him a good weekend. Small also encountered another weirdo who was pointing at some poor woman’s dog and shouting that the dog must be a robot. Hmmm. How tall and small have not been killed in this City is a miracle.
Wednesday 24th August 2011
Padraig’s last day with tall and small. As he was getting over his throat infection decided to go out to Toronto Island, though today the weather was pissing with rain. Stopped in the Union Train station to pick up Padraig’s train ticket to New York for 8am the next morning., though the Amtrak ticket desk is only open from 6am till 1pm it was closed for 1 hour (10-11am) for the woman’s lunch break!! After a long wait got the tickets, went for lunch in PJ OBriens Irish Bar, where we were served three cups of tea by an Irish girl and Padraig moaned that the cauliflower soup had too much blue cheese in it.
Headed out to the Island, $6.50 return. Walked from Ward’s harbour to the centre, Ward’s end was almost deserted. The centre was filled with children and a naff fun fair ride. Got lost trying to find the next ferry out of there. Got home exhausted from so much walking. Tall one went out to buy some semi skimmed milk and on the way home a man on a bicycle came past and looked at him and said “would you like to suck my arse you fucking arsehole!”.
That night there was a very long, dramatic lightning storm across Toronto. Early next morning Padraig left for New York where it was then announced a hurricane was coming.
Thursday 18th – Tuesday 23rd August 2011
Out foxed by that dastardly mouse again!! Now with all 3 glue traps and all four mouse traps baited with sugar puffs, fruit cake and cheddar around our small kitchen, Thursday afternoon tall one sat on the bed reading saw the little mouse creep out from under the oven and step around all the traps and come and head into the bedroom. When tall one moved he darted back under the oven and preceded to peep out now and again while tall and small sat waiting for him armed with large ice creams brought from a passing ice cream van on Pembroke street. Round two to the mouse.
Small one’s brother Padraig came, had a tour of Toronto with small one and said that Harlem was a safer place that here. Mr Dennis had kindly provided him with a small room downstairs with no air con, and so sweating it out all night Padraig ended up with a throat infection. Saturday morning Mr Dennis’ colleague knocked on Padraig’s door and said she was showing an American student round.
The next step with the mouse, now known as Jerry, was to add peanut butter to the traps. After some internet research it is apparently irresistible to them. However on the morning of Monday it was found he’d managed to lick the peanut butter clean off two of the traps without setting them off.... round three to Jerry....
Small one finished his last shift at Eaton centre food court on Thursday, then on the Monday evening started his new job at The Pickle Barrel Bar/ Restaurant up from Dundas square. He was told it would just be a couple of hours watching food orders to get to know the food. He was there for 7 put behind a manic bar, with a rude, arrogant foreign bar man (“keep out of my way!”) who was to show him how to make the 52 cocktails on their list. This as on top of the 300 food items to learn on the menu. While working he found out if customers under pay the server in charge of there table has to pay for their food out their wages. On that night a girls group table left leaving the cash for payment on the table but under paid by $50. She was told it was coming out her wages.... until a hour later one of the group came back and said how one of the group got home bragging how he did not throw in so they made him pay and came back. Small also found out, when he poured a pint of Bud instead of Bud Light that any miss-pours were to come out his wages as well, unless you can resell the drink to a customer. At the end of the night small got home a wreck and vowed not to go back. E-mailed the Eaton centre woman and managed to get his food court job back to start Thursday next week.
Meanwhile tall one was going well in Candiana hostel on his fifth week now and finally given full time hours. It was a good sign they were pleased with him as the other new person who started the week before him for training was only being given 15 hours a week. When he came to do his first full shift covering reception on his own with only the new girl as back up on the Monday he found out why. She did not have a clue what tall one was doing with all the electronic booking systems, she kept asking what are you doing now, can you show me this and that, ooh you’ve got notes thats a good idea..... and she started before him and has had the same training. The Sunday had been very busy with 50 language students checking in, a busy morning where previous guests had not checked out and had gone for the day, and with 50 students waiting to check in all the previous guests stuff had to be thrown out into the hallway, their locker padlocks cut off and their belongings al brought to reception. They weren’t happy when they showed up after going out for the day to find all there stuff sitting in a corridor. Tall had to field lots of bizarre calls on reception. One woman phoned up and said she wasn’t staying with us but did we know how to get to another hostel called Castle Backpackers.... The new girl answered and gave her directions, then 5 minutes ater she phoned back and tall one answered. She said she still did not understand the directions to get to this hostel and started listing off subway stops down the phone to him, tall one stopped her and said “so hang on what hostel is it you are going to?” “the Castle Inn like i said” “well might i suggest you call the actual hostel and ask them for directions??” “well i have been trying but they don’t answer...” tall one could not blame them. Tall one had also had to go to a staff meal on the Thursday evening as it was 3 staff’s birthdays that month. The meal had been hyped up for weeks as the cleaner Teresa (little Spanish lady?) was cooking and her food was hyped to he incredible. Even when tall one came to be queuing for the food they were still telling him that this was going to be an experience for him.... Well it wasn’t, maybe it was the hype, but it all seemed to be very greasy food. Tall one was the only one who didn’t finish his meal. He then left after an hour and didn’t say goodbye, he doesn’t like saying goodbye, not too keen on big group dinners either.
Back at Pembroke, Padraig was coughing his guts up with a sore throat and chest infection. Tuesday morning had a trip up town to buy some heavy duty mouse traps.... this was war.... Came back with two heavy duty traps. One old style about the size of a shoe, and the other a different, plastic clip design which was supposed to be more effective. He was surely dead this time...??
Friday 12th August – Wednesday 17th August 2011
Tall and Small both working this week. Small was to give up and hand in his notice to the Eaton Centre food court on the Wednesday after finding out that his wage wasn’t all that good as out of that has to come non refundable contributions to Canada Pension, Canada Employment Insurance, Union Contributions and Tax. He did manage to salvage the bar job at The Pickled Barrel just up from Dundas Square, who he blew out on the Monday but went in Tuesday and was told they had still not found anyone and he’d be welcome. Expecting to make $50-$200 extra a day on tips he went with that one.
The week he worked for the Eaton centre was still surreal. Unpacking the endless crates and palettes of plates and trays for the new food court. Stuck working with a lot of 18 year olds. Oneday he was working with a young black fella and a young Korean guy. The Korean guy hadn’t said a word to anybody since arriving and blurts out to small and the black fella “How do you get girls? I’ve never had one... how do you go about it”. The black fellas responce was that he was “a nigger and just raped them in the park!”. I think his joke was lost on the nervous Korean guy. They told him he should go to the pub but him and the Korean were a year too young to drink anyway, and after many discussions about first and second and third bases the Korean guy said that they should all go out at Christmas time when he turns 19 and help him get a girlfriend. Small and the black fella agreed, and the Korean guy got their phone numbers and told them they’d not see him again as he was only working part time evening shifts when they were on full time day shifts, so “see you in December!”.
Meanwhile Tall one was progressing in the hostel job, despite having a very bad sore throat, probably brought about by the endless air con needed in that flat. Working with a curious bunch of people, including a middle aged Canadian woman with bleach blonde hair with pink tips who will not shut up abou her problems to everyone, and on the Friday Tal showed up to find her pissed in the laundry room, could not even press a button without help. She was supposed to be doing the wine and cheese night an hour prior, had not even started but had drunk a bottle of vodka.... jesus. Somehow she managed to get the cheese and wine out 2 hours late, and walked round the hostel drumming up business by shouting “get the fuck out here” to the residents.... The owner was here for all of this and never spoke to her, she seems to be just put up with? A lot of training on reception for tall one for a full 8 hour day shift, finally given 37 hours next week compared to the 15 he’d been getting for the last 3 weeks (twice as much as the other new girl who started a week before him). Taking a lot of strange phone calls, and a lot of people expecting you to be bilingual and be able to speak fluent Spanish or French? One guy phoned up, sounded Mexican asking o speak to a Kevin. No Kevin works here sorry. Okay, when he work? Kevin doesn’t work here.... Ok what is Kevin’s number.... I don’t know any Kevin this is a hostel is he staying here?..... Kevin at work?..... Kevin works for you does he?..... Where is Kevin what his number?..... I don’t know Kevin if you give me his last name and if he is staying here i can give him a message thats all?..... oh I have extension number for Kevin oput me through to 6678..... we don’t have any extensions here for Kevin, this is a hostel.... okay put me through to Kevin..... i can’t i said... what number is reception..... this is reception you are speaking to..... what is number for reception..... the same number you dialled you called me.... ok it is fine goodbye. The guy hangs up, then 10 seconds later the phone goes Hello Canadiana Backpackers.... hello yes put me through ot extenson 6678..... i just spoke to you and i told you we have no extension numbers, no phones in room, this is a backpackers Kevin has given you the wrong info. It was a long day.
Back at 96 Pembroke Street in our flat Small one had thought he’d seen a mouse behind the oven, so on Tuesday tall one went ut and brought some large mouse traps. Setting the traps up either side of the oven, with big lumps of cheese Tall one felt like some kind of Tom and Jerry cartoon. Meanwhile the smoke alarm went off again, this time it was the Asian fella living directly below them (who plays quite loud computer games at night) and tall one found him fanning the smoke alarm with a tea towel, wearing just a t shirt and pants. Small and Tall had both noticed that this was all they ever saw this guy wearing, no matter what time of day, just t shirt and pants.... it was as if he didn;t own a pair of trousers.
Wednesday came around and in the late afternoon Small One’s brother is coming to stay for a week. Small had asked landlord Mr Dennis to reserve him a room for Padraig a few weeks ago and was told yes yes fine. He had already paid and confirmed and re checked with Dennis each week. Now the day before Dennis tells him sorry we are full, your brother will have to stay 2 nights in his other hostel a few blocks over.... Small one was firm and said, No he’d paid a lot of money for this room and given plenty of notice, it had to be in one of these houses here at 94/94 Pembroke Street. Mr Dennis then spent the night re furbishing one of the run down student rooms in 96, and was still sweating away as usual on Wednesday morning. Small one double checked and Mr Dennis said it would all be ready by the evening...... Meanwhile up in the flat that dastardly mouse had got away with the two lumps of cheese from both mouse traps without springing them. He may have won this round but Tall one baited the traps differently this time so he could not just take the cheese without having to steps on the trap.
Thursday 11th August 2011
Small one had another day unpacking packs of boxes for the food court, Tall one had another day checking beds and checking people in and out of the hostel. Neither still had full time hours for the month, as Tall one was still training on 15-20 hours a week and small one had sporadic days of training and unpacking until the start on 1st Sept.
Small one came back from work today to find a tramp with a shopping trolley parked up inside our garden. He had our dustbin open and was tearing open our black bags of garbage and rifling through chucking out any cans or bottles onto his trolley to claim back the 10c a can. Small one went back down with our box of 24 empty Candian beer bottles and gave them to him. The tramp said he was respecting our privacy and would put everything back once he’d checked through it all, he then clocked the brand of beer and said the people here used to drink Corona... perhaps they moved out.
Tuesday 9th – Wednesday 10th August 2011
Interesting role reversal, Small one started work today and tall one had 2 days off. Small one’s new job in the Eaton Centre Food Court (opening Sept 1st) started by sending him and 5 other new employees to the 27th floor of the office building to receive palettes and palettes of new crockery and trays and unpack it. These palettes were sent up in the lift and will later be sent back down to be washed... Many many hours of unwrapping and piling plates over and over again. Good view of the City though, even though small one got a headache from going up and down that lift so many times. The first day they brought everyone pizzas, which the bill came to $200! He said they wouldn’t be doing that again. The next day they were given a bag of hot coffee, dohnuts and cans of Coke Zero. On small one’s way back walking up Dundas Street he could here some violent sounds of vomiting behind him and turned, seeing no one. Carrying on the vomiting sounds continued, he noticed other pedestrians also looking around for the source of this very loud sound. Then he saw it, a tramp riding a bike in the road was slumped forward over the handle bars throwing up as he rode over the vomit that hit the ground.... nice.
Tall one had a wonder round the City on his day off, paying the expensive phone bill, cinema and flag shopping. He thought he’d try and explore the famous underground path system which covered the whole of the CBD. Entering by the new town hall he went up and down various stairs, struggling to find any clear signs except for ones which said “Wolf” “Goose”
“Pig”? It was all very confusing and after 20 minutes went back up above ground only to find he’d come up about 10 foot away from where he had first entered it. Sitting for a coffee in Tim Hortons later on, Tall one watched out the window as a hand ful of large hale stones fell from the sky and landed in the road outside. It was a bit bizarre as it was quite a hot summers day and he noticed pedestrians stopping to look at these hale stones. When he left the coffee place he looked for himself only to see that it was loads of chips of marble size glass that had fallen from one of the many very tall, modern sky scrapers above. Whatever had fallen was broke before it hit the ground, he felt like a CSI, but decided not to pursue the investigation.
On his way back to the flat a crazy woman dressed quite normally but with a big mole on the side of her nose was walking the other way. She (like most of the other crazy people in the City) was arguing very loudly to herself and gesturing very widely with spread arms. Tall one took a side step to avoid her swinging arms only to be accosted by her aggressively asking what all that side stepping was about when he saw her coming? Tall one told her he did not know and her response was that he ought to be careful cos he’d get a bullet in his head.... nice.
Tuesday 2nd August – Monday 8th August 2011
Another fun week in Toronto. You can’t throw a rock in this City without hitting someone severely mentally ill. On tall one’s walk home from work he past a middle aged woman dressed in Tartan trousers lying on her side on the steps of the Old City Hall completely laughing her head off while clutching a kebab....? Just past her was a black guy at a traffic crossing kicking the hell out of the air.
Small one continued his job hunt, including a cafe in the extensive underground shopping mall and a bar job in a bowling alley, neither came off or matched the hourly wage of the food court job coming up in the Eaton Centre. The Eaton Centre food court agency had phoned small one to see if he could come in Monday coming as they were having 900 plates and sets of cutlery delivered and needed someone to unpack, check and wash each plate.... small one can’t wait.
Meanwhile tall and small had asked Mr Dennis to fix the grill in the top oven. He came up all sweaty after sitting despondently staring into space on the front doorsteps of the house for a good half an hour. He then started banging away at the top grill elements into something made a big bang and flash.... he had forgotten to unplug the oven. He left it for the night to get the part he needed next morning, so tea had to be made in the shared house kitchen the floor below. Next day he came and fixed it in half an hour, only for the thing to go bang again when we tried to bake Michael Caine’s jacket Potatoes in the oven. Dennis’ responce (sat on the doorstep again) was that he’d just replace it with one of those small mini oven/grill things.
Tall one continued his four day week, doing 4-5 hours a day on either morning or evening shift in Canadiana Backpackers. Last night a big black woman came and told him she’d blocked the toilet and to have a look. Tall one has not eaten since going into that bathroom, seeing that toilet filled completely to the brim of this brown stew, and having this big mumma telling him how she couldn’t look her room mates in the face anymore. There was also some young 20 year old student who had drunkenly set off fire extinguishers in the night and when approached about it by the manager the next morning her response was to set off the extinguisher again in front of the manager and then proceeded to throw the luggage of some other guests out the balcony. She was removed from the hostel and confirmed to be mentally unstable by her school. We then had t wait for the Japense girl to come back and be told her clothing was ruined. As the girl had set off fire extinguishers it had set off all the fire alarms, which in turn turned off all the hot water boilers. Everyone had been having cold showers all day, until that night the owner Chris got Tall one to come round and re-light the pilot lights with him. His method for doing this was to get a bit of rolled up newspaper, set fire to one end and wave it about under the gas tank until the pilot light took fire... Tall one barely made it home alive that night. On the way home in the middle of the night ruding up Dundas Street came a man riding a very tall unicycle. Peddling away with one hand held firmly over his crotch, it was a strange sight at 11.30pm. Another morning at Canadiana Backpackers Tall one was emptying ash trays in the patio when an Irish resident told him there was a Raccoon stuck in the fence. Sure enough there one was with his back leg stuck in a gap, while his body was scrabbling around the otherside. It was the first Raccoon tall one had seen, and when he told the manager he was told to get back to work while she dealt with it. That night small one took tall one ut for a drink in a small Irish Pub on Carlton. A strange place where they were given three taster pots of beer which steadily got worse and worse to taste. Board games were stacked high for people to play and the music being pumped out the speakers was old thirties jazz, the place didn’t seem to stack up properly so they left. Though small one went in for an interview a couple of days later, only to be told when he asked for the Chef who’d arranged it, that the Chef was not here and that he’d been doing this to interviewee’s all day.
On Tall one’s day off he went with Small one round the City and saw a few more sights, including the Baldwyn Steps, a couple of cafe/bars used in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World movie and lastly up to see the Casa Loma castle. The castle was $18 to go in, so walked round the car park for ten minutes before heading back. That evening small one found on facebook’s advert page an iron, ironing board and clothes horse for sale for $10 just off Bay Street on Charles. Headed up and into their tower block, had to press one of many buzzers to get through to the couple selling their stuff off, but could only remember the guys name as John, so looked for names with the initial ‘J’ that had a sirname sounding Irish. Guessed right and the guy took us upstairs into his $1200 a month flat which him and his girlfriend had decked out themselves for the year. They talked us into buying their alarm clock for $5 as well, but we could not take their $400 sofas.... They had been here a year and were now selling up and going home at the end of their trip, just as we were arriving and setting our flat up for the year.
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