Wednesday 29th February 2012
Small one got a text from Henry at work that his T4 tax form had arrived to his house, so Tall one had to get up at 7am and go into the food court and collect it for him – as Small one had already told them all he had left to save having to meet up for various good bye dinners. After that on to the cafe on the corner of Dundas and Dalhouse? Was one of the first cafes they had breakfast in when they arrived... the coffee was as cold then as it was now. Did another pack of the bags, a final one this time. Could not fit everything in, so more clothing thrown in the charity shop box. Both tall and smalls bags are packed in as tight as ever before, due to all the winter clothing – they also both weigh a tonne and figure both their backs will be broken within the week. The snow and ‘ice rain’ started to fall pretty heavy, but they braved it up to the charity shop with 2 big boxes of clothes, as well as Tall one’s heavy work boots (worn twice) and the book given to him by the staff of the hostel (which was too big to keep or post). After that brought some final bits for the trip, then up to the CBD to send home the two heavy parcels of books and hats to the UK and Ireland. One cost $60 the other $90, both sent via ‘surface’ mail.
Small one then got his tax return done by H&R Block, but the one of Shuter St not in Sears. Was seen by a little old Asian woman who was wearing strange metal Harry Potter glasses. She charged small one $150 compared to the $67 h was charged by the useless black fella. Though she was giving him back around a 98% refund, compared to the 30% promised to tall one. Tall one was annoyed and so back to the flat tog et his copy of the assessment then back up into Sears with Small one. They found the young black fella (who had bits of his lunch still stuck to the corners of his mouth), and explained. He was adamant that he was right and that the Asian woman had given Small one too much credit. He said he’d phone her and took us in (thankfully skipping the queue of 5 people). He was very nervous and took an age to make the phone call. He spoke to the kooky Asian woman who told him she knew what she was doing and she’d processed it correctly and to check with *** in head office. He tried phoning *** but got no reply and then did not know what else to do. He asked a Russian woman working next to him who said that we were due back nothing.... that wasn’t helpful either.... Finally *** from head office phoned back, just in time before small one strangled this young fool losing tall one over $800. Head office confirmed that the Asian woman was the correct one and so the young black fella had to reprocess Tall one’s application and gave him the full refund (his old form had not been sent yet – was just filed away). Everyone left happy!??
Then up to the greyhound bus station to try and collect our tickets that were never posted out 3-4 weeks ago. Aked at the main bus ticket desk (what seemed to be the only desk) the man did not say a single word to us and brought out this laminated picture of a ‘Greyhound’ free standing desk with an arrow on it and held it up.... right oh. Found the little Freyhound desk at the back of the depot and asked the woman for our tickets, she made a call and got them printed and tall and small had to wait 10 minutes in the bus station while she went to get them. They looked around the dull station interior, the plastic chairs and boring announcement screens and thought that they’d have to get used to seeing these over the next 2 months. The place was also a circus of freaks, there was 2 large black transvestites, blond wigs, in tight denim with their bellies hanging out. Then over by the window was a man with a shaved head dressed in full army camouflage gear travelling with a woman dressed like a Panda. Thankfully the ticket woman came back with t he tickets and we could leave, but it was still a glimpse of the fun too come – with a 36 hour bus journey ahead in only a few days time... and a 5 hour one to Ottawa in the morning. Lastly after doing a superficial clean of the flat (still not seen Landlord Dennis since xmas or had anyone up to the flat to view it), THEN DOWN TO William living in the basement for a very brief goodbye – had not spoke to him since the summer when would sit outside on front steps with a beer with him and Max. The Seinfeld then bed.
Tuesday 28th February 2012
A day of sorting out the flat and luggage.... must be the heaviest the bags have ever been due to all the winter clothes. Phoned the Greyhound bus company to ask where the bus tickets to Ottawa were that we ordered to be posted out a month ago... oh they were never posted she said. There was no apology just you can pick them up at the depot when you leave, so tll one asked for a refund of the $7, oh you can’t ask for that until after your trip is over.... right thanks for you ‘help’. Another money grabbing Canadian Company – to date that’s the overall impression of Canadian business’ : ‘Money Grabbing Bastards’.
Tall one had to walk across the City to work for this beer and wings night, labelled s his going away party. Meeting at the Hostel at 5pm first had to say goodbye to staff who who’d already said goodbye to, such as Mia. He asked her if she was going to the beer and wings, she said she couldn’t go and tall one said “thank God for that”. As per usual didn’t actually leave until 5.30pm, or get the food in until after 6pm, but was leaving by just after 7pm... Half the people there tall one does not really speak to, and the other half he already said his good byes to, but it was free food and beer at least? Was given a big, heavy book on Toronto signed by everyone, though too big for the backpack and for the parcel to send home, so going to a charity shop (hopefully not the one were the owner buys all the going away gifts). Walked home with the quiet South African fella, then that was it all the goodbyes finally over with. Back to small one to watch a Top Gear and some Seinfeld – as tje TV was still broken.
Monday 27th February 2012
Finally Tall One’s last day at work. Left small one and bed and headed in via three blocks of young girls camping out on the streets to see a glimpse of naff X-Factor loser band ‘One Direction’ from the UK??? Had quite a busy day with more lunatics to deal with. Huge group of 40 arrogant French children came in to drop off their bags. Eleven people had to move rooms because of that, then the weirdos turned up wanting to know where the nearest ‘Soup’ places were. Started the good byes to everyone and then owner Chris phoned up and said they’d all do Beer & Wings leavers do tomorrow night – so now Tall one has to give up his evening the next day and traipse back across the city and go through the same goodbyes. Back home and Small one had done another pre-pack, and collected his assorted gifts from the staff room at work. The majority of them to large or pointless to save. Spent the night watching the last episode of Human Body, filming a German man ding of a huge tumor in an Irish community, while he smoked like a chimney.
Sunday 26th February 2012
Tall one left for work, and had a busy morning, but an un-eventful day – other than a man phoning up asking to rent a room just for 3 hours and what would the rate be for that? Meanwhile small one spent the day in bed, and got up only to do yet another pre-pack and hurt his back in the process. That night tried to go to bed early, then ended up watching the boring Oscars until midnight.
Saturday 25th February 2012
Small one rough as a dog this morning, he can’t handle the booze in his old age. Tall one was just tired from the late shift. Small managed to wake and watch the Celtic match, whilst Tall one watched Disney’s Aladdin. He then made small one some hard boiled eggs.... just on their own in a bowl as that’s all that was left as they’re now in the last few days of Toronto.
Headed out to Chew Chew’s Diner on Carlton Street – recommended by Mia at work. Went inside to have the guy behind the till call out for us to “sit anywhere your comfortable”. The place was quite full so moved down to the back where a waiter came out and told us to “just sit anywhere where your comfortable”.... and here was us looking for the most uncomfortable place to sit. We chose a table which had a large calculator left discarded by the ketchup, ordered their well priced chicken dinner with soup and their steak and eggs for 12.99 each. There was a woman sat behind us alone who started clinking her glass and cup with a fork making some kind of music? We finished our meal and a good 20 minutes later left, just as the woman called the waiter over and said she was now ready to order. We then headed over to the discount stores on Parliament, where the cashier wouldn’t get off his phone and short changed us by 30 cents. Then to No Frills supermarket for the first time this year – it was still the same depressing hole. Did a speedy food shop for our last week, which will mostly be trying to use up all those old meals left in the cupboard and freezer for months. Small collapsed at home on the bed hung over and still complaining.
That evening at 9pm had arranged to go for a drink with tall one’s boss Sandra and co-workers, Mia and irish boyfriend AJ, and south African Woutter. Went to the Stout pub on Carlton where small one had handed in a CV way back in July. Place was quite busy and very noisy. Arrived to find only the South African guy, who did very little talking. Mia and Aj, then previous co-worker Myriam also showed. Finally Sandra and her French husband ‘Michelle’. Tall one introduced Sandra and Michelle, and small one presumed that Michelle was the girl (Myriam) who had arrived just before them so was putting his hand out to the wrong person. He then lost his glove and we all left by Midnight.
Friday 24th February 2012
The morning news was full of flash warnings about a huge snow blizzard expected today, all Catholic school buses had been cancelled for some bizarre reason, and people were being told not to travel.... then nothing happened. Not a drop of snow fell, the day was just a bit grey and miserable looking.
Small one went in for his final day at work at the Eaton Centre’s Urban Eatery. More tear and more gifts, including n Addidas track suit top? As well as a flower in a glass vase with a teddy wrapped around it. All useless items to go travelling with, nobody thought to just give him money??!! Small one then left the food court stopping at each of the 5 clearing stations to say goodbye to the little cleaning ladies, leaving a trail of tears behind him – the customers watching must have wondered what was going on. He then went out for some beers and stayed out till 11pm, poor small one is not used to drinking anymore. Brought a couple of rounds and refused the tequila that was brought for him.
Meanwhile tall one had the day time off, but as in at work for his final night shift (5pm-1.30am) at the backpackers. He’d not done a Friday night for a long time and was only doing one as Rhona was in Washington for a long weekend. It was just so noisy with people, and a group of them at 1am were all sat round the table whilst some ‘cool’ guy played Oasis songs on guitar and everybody sung along.... it was absolutely hideous. Then some German guy with bad side burns took the dish cloth from the lounge sink and started cleaning his big steel capped work boots with it. Tall one was stood next to him whilst he did it and watched him put the cloth back amongst the dishes when he was done. Tall one said to him, “did you just use that to clean your boot?”.... “err”....” and you put it pack? That’s disgusting, you can just ask reception for a cleaning rag we have loads..” the guy was a moron, his girlfriend is even the cleaner for the place. Tall one left very tired after a busy midnight and busy till count. They’d been a crappy cheap $10 Casio digital watch in lost and found for the last few weeks so he took it to replace his crappy $5 ‘Sports’ digital watch which was scratched. This was quite a contrast to the fancy $400 watch small one got when he finished work.
Thursday 23rd February 2012
Small one awoke with a splitting headache. Went to work after a mysterious text to call the big man as soon as he gets in. Small one was then presented with an enormous expensive looking watch and a letter of recommendation to take with him. Later on in the day he was asked to come into the staff room, to have all the staff waiting in there to shout ‘surprise!’. Small one asked them what they thought they were doing there was no one out their working!. They started crying and he told them he was joking, but they continued to cry. He was given a mug with photos of all his team on, so then he cried, and then some cake and cards and a ceramic plate from Ecuador? The only person absent was crazy old “Tom”. Even when he got home he was still receiving text messages from the little old women telling him how upset they were and how they would miss him.... he still has tomorrow to go back and work yet.
Tall one had a relatively productive day. Cancelled his contract with mobile phone company Fido, but was put on to pay as you go, which took half an hour and now has to pay 75c a month if he wants to be able to call 911?? Dropped in the bag of quarters, 1 cents and 5/10 cents to the coin machine. This time it was free and he managed to get $50 back – not bad for 7 months savings?? On to the HR Tax Refund company on one of the many floors of Sears. The boring Canadian man from yesterday didn’t remember him at all, but put him on the waiting list. Tall one sat waiting for an hour to be seen, they didn’t even have an office it was just a few chairs and desk with some diving boards stuck up in the middle of the kitchen section. A lanky black fella came up, seemed to be on speed rabbiting really fast about how his tax refund was going to cost him, or was it, or will his box get ticked, will he be treated differently.... the poor Canadian man was struggling to talk to him but kept his very slow dialogue back to him as the black fella continued to machine gun back at him. Finally tall one was seen by a very young lad who kept having to ask for help from his colleagues. The refund procedure was confusing, as far as Tall one could work out he was getting $380 GST back in a couple of months, then every 3 months he’d get back another $76 until Jan 2013, then he’d get OST back for another few hundred sometime later in the year? Tall one left, still confused, and on his way home gave some change to the cold and silver painted Elvis busker (who occasionally steps out of his statue/mime character to get off his podium straighten up his things and smoke a fag).
Wednesday 22nd February 2012
Another day at work, another day gone before we leave...
Tall one had problems dealing with a middle aged bald man who wears a black suit and bowler hat (which he proudly announces he brought in a second hand shop) who asked to borrow the staff guitar but 24 hours later still had it up in his room. Tall one tried to ask for it back, but even at 9am the guy stunk of booze and was arguing that he wasn’t hogging it!! Had the sweet little girl turn up for training at 5pm, thankfully just as tall one was finishing shift. She said to him “i expect your glad your not having to train me today”, tall one told her that “just the sight of you is making me feel sick”. She laughed, but very uncertainly.
Meanwhile small one got baked another cake at work by one of his middle aged fans. He met tall one at 5.30pm and they went up to the 4th floor of sears to their HR Tax help desk. They got stuck talking to a very slow speaking, very Canadian, grey haired man who painstakingly took them through their tax refund options as well as the alternatives... They got the hell out and wondered if it was worth putting in a return when they were un-sure if they’d get anything back, but still be stuck with the $60 fee to this slow man. Afterwards small headed back to work and tall one headed home.
Tall one stopped off in Tim Hortons as he wanted to try one of their new lattes advertised on their posters with a big smiley face shaped chocolate stencil on the top. He was told by the extremely miserable, suicidal staff (which Tim Horton’s seems to attract) that they did not do the smiley faced lattes (or any kind of smiley face). Tall one opted for a standard coffee and asked for their iced donunt and pointed to it. The girl was confused, and Tall one pointed again, until she finally got the one he wanted and with her sour face told him that that was ‘frosted’ not ‘iced’.... have a nice day?
Tuesday 21st February 2012
Tall one at work had three people to train now... At 9.30am an Australian lad arrived to train for the night shift and an Irish girl from Tipperary to train as his replacement. Trying to have both on 2 different computers, talking both through what to do as well as trying to do his own job gave him stomach cramps. Finally they left at 1pm, but then at 2pm the Canadian girl from yesterday came back to train from 2pm till 5pm.... even though she doesn’t start until June... By the end of the 8.5 hour day tall one could barely speak anymore. Amongst this training he had to move out baskets off stuff from a girls room who had not paid for 3 nights in a row, and despite a phone call warning her to come back and pay she never bothered, she had also been accused of stealing from a girls wallet – this was all very strange as she had been in the hostel since December. There was also a phone call from Vancouver from a groggy voiced man who wanted to know if it was raining in Toronto and that if he had the money he’d love to come back. There was also an aggressive phone call from a man asking “how much is a room there?”, Tall one asked “what kind of room as we have different ones”... “well you have TV’s in the rooms don’t you?”.... “No this isn’t a hotel”..... “okay so what is your cheapest room??”.... “that would be our 8 bed dorm that has 8 beds and 8 people in”.... “forget it!”, and then he hung up.
Meanwhile small one had to deal with a woman over by the TD ATM machines in the food court, calmly vomiting her guts up over the floor. He asked her if she was alright, she said she was fine thank you, she’d just taken “the pil”. She then calmly strolled off... small one called the cleaners. Then there was psycho Tom who was dragging his feet as usual today, Small one warned him to speed up and Tom’s only argument (he’d used up all his others) was “what are people with disabilities suppose to do?”, small one asked him what he meant and he said “a disabled person couldn’t go any faster?”, small one asked him if he was disabled and Tom said “No”, and that was that??
Monday 20th February 2012
Small one went to work, not very well today. It was a public holiday called “Family Day” or some nonsense like that – so the shopping mall and food court where packed.
Outside the shopping centre in Dundas Square there were three types of buskers. The man with no legs and a beard in a wheelchair was back – doing his angry army chanting while his shrots are down by his knees/stumps so he is sat in his red underpants, occasioanlyl spitting brown stuff down his chest, but still clutching onto an empty McDonald’s coffee cup – as if anybody would give him any change when he’s being so offensive (if only he sung some Whitney Houston instead of his non-sensical army chants). The other no hoper was the black chap standing ont he base of a lamp post, microphone in his hand ranting about how we’d forgotten about ‘da king’, and ‘da king is jeeze’ass’. The only person the public had stopped to watch was the young fella with one of those crystal balls he makes balance on his palm.
Meanwhile Tall one arrived at work to find the news that the young Korean lad ‘CK’ who’d trained for a few days had turned up 20 minutes for the night shift – so Chris fired him. It was then a busy morning with the group of 30 checking out and several people moving rooms, one of which was the crazy little Indian lady who scares all her roommates by sitting up all night staring at the wall in silence. After more complaints form her new room mates Sandra decided to kick her out. She finally came down to reception and murmured at the front desk, Sandra kept calling out to her to speak up I can’t hear you.... the little Indian lady would murmur again....”SPEAK UP!”.... then very softly you’ d hear her “i am very sorry can’t i stay... i have not found anywhere else to go...”. Then we’d explain to her again that she’d been given 2 chances already and told to make her bed and not sit in it all day, to bring her sleeping habits back down to earth, but still the other girls complained and so she has to go. She went up to get her bed linens but still no sign of her after half an hour, so Tall one went up and had to ask her what was going on.... (murmur murmur).... what’s that? Speak up?..... i am coming i am sorry.... Poor woman, she was clearly a mess in the head, but still a mild mannered softly spoken person.
Sunday 19th February 2012
Small one spent the day in his long johns, cooking pork for tall one’s return from work. He packed and repacked his backpack probably his tenth time to do so – again throwing out more clothes.
Tall one had a busy morning at the hostel, but the afternoon was painful quiet. Stuck with the 30 year old South African guy telling him how he used to be the ruler of a country and would have to make diplomatic decisions on when to embark his troops when the border of the country was threatened, and how his country merged with his brothers who was the dictator of another land. He talked about this ruling in great detail for a good half an hour, tall one sat there very confused until he realized he was talking about him and his brother pretending to be dictators of their parents house?? This wasn’t a passing comment on how he used to play a game when he was a boy, this was literally a half an hour speech on the decisions h imagined making about his battlefield / bedroom....
After work tall and small took the big coffee jar of 1 cents, 5 cents and 10 cents all the way to Metro supermarket....it was pretty heavy after 7 months of saving. When they got there some fella was already putting his through so they stood and waited a good 15 minutes for him to finish. When he was done they went up only to find that the machine was “NOW FULL”, so then had to traipse all the way home lugging the bag of change. They got home and made a cup of tea then watched a ‘Human Body’ documentary with Robert Winston’s moustache talking about death... at least in this episode he wasn’t putting his own sperm under the microscope.
Saturday 18th February 2012
Had a good omelette. Though did drop a quarter of it down the side of the oven... something for the mouse to live on. Small one watched the first Rangers match since going into admin, whilst Tall one watched Disney’s The Rescuers.... Headed into town and brought sleeping bags for the trip. Up to the cinema on Carlton to see ‘The Grey’, which was virtually empty, and had 2 bald men sneezing sniffing and pointing at the screen on the very front row.
Friday 17th February 2012
Small one left for work, Tall one had the day off and spent it sat in white long john’s watching Looney Tunes cartoons. Small one had more tears at work, when telling some fella that they can go for a drink before he goes, he got the response “i don’t want to think about it” and then some blubbering...
Later that night and it was the weekly food shop again.... This week there was no security guard in a turban to greet them, probably laid off. Lugging the food home back down Dundas Street there was a strange woman sat on the pavement huddled in the corner by a building, literally screaming down the phone : “I AM NOT LIKE THAT, I JUST WANTED A BOTTLE OF WINE, NOW EVERYONE IS COMIGN UP TO ME AND AKSING ME WHAT IT IS FOR! I AM NOT JENNIFER I AM NOT JENNIFER!” Followed by a loud piercing “AAAAGGGHHHH!” down the phone, then some more ranting. Tall one turned to small one and said “we gotta get out of this town, every other person is a lunatic”. Small one asked if that would then mean one of them was a lunatic. In the background the woman was screaming again.... Tall one said “No, because you count me (sane)... then her (insane) ... then you (sane)”.
Thursday 16th February 2012
Small one went to work, and walking through Dundas Square one of the Jesus shouting guys with a microphone told small one that for ignoring him he would have slit his throat back in his dark days.... God bless you. Meanwhile tall one went out and spent $100 on a new pair of hiking boots as the ones from Payless Shoes – he really should have paid more for.... they were really quite terrible. Then brought a new backpacker. Started his shift at 5pm, dealt with the usual lunatics, then caught a taxi home at 1.30am – and had to listen to the taxi driver saying he was sick of being a taxi driver and were we looking for any staff at the backpackers?? Small one was asleep, or trying to sleep due to a mouse having arrived and circled the bed a few times. He also claimed he’s been dreaming about being the administrator for Ranger Football and the roof just fell in on the stadium.
Wednesday 15th February 2012
Small keeps being invited out to final goodbye dinners by everyone working in the food court. He’s done his best avoiding Joanne up until now, but was cornered on the phone. One of the little middle aged women wants to take him to dinner at the top of the CN tower, and also invited him very persistently to a Manderin Gay wedding? He said he doesn’t even know them or her, her response was, “yes but they aren’t much different to you and me....”. Small one also gave the cake and card to the 50 year old cleaner, had all the customers singing happy birthday at their tables and made the embarrassed old woman cry.
Tall one came home and ate most of the out of date chocolates, the girl he’d been training to replace him yesterday had quit after just 1 day, so back to square one and less than 2 weeks to go. They had already discounted the dozen or more interviews to date (including a 20 year old Norwegian Lumberjack with very bad teeth), the first of which came through on email today was a former British guest who plays the double bass – she’s got an interview tomorrow...
Tall one also spent the day at the hostel cleaning out the downstairs locker room. Had notices up all week for people to tell us which locker number was there’s (out of the 40 odd) otherwise they’d all have their padlocks cut off and be emptied. Found over 20 lockers which had been padlocked for God knows how long, but were completely empty. There was one however which was full of stuff, so we emailed the name we found on the bag and they responded by saying they checked out in September but would be back in April.... 7 months storing their bags downstairs while they travelled the country! We told them they couldn’t get their stuff back unless they paid us $10 a month storage fee. Lastly, some British guy came up to reception and said he had a favour to ask which was not hostel related.... right.... it was his 9 year old sisters birthday and he had forgotten it the last 5 years, and was making a video of people wishing her a happy birthday would i do it? Tall one warned him that if he wanted enthusiasm he’d come to the wrong person, but he still did it complete with Al Jolson like waving hands as he dryly said “happy birthday Natalie....”.
Tuesday 14th February 2012
Valentines day.... etc etc. Small one woken up by three people phoning in sick, he tried getting some people to come in on their day off to work – one guy’s response was that he didn’t want to come in as it was Valentine’s Day, small one said to him “so what you don’t have a girlfriend”. The guy said “why do you say that?”, “because you told me you didn’t” said small one the guy (probably now in tears) said “yeah, but I might have”.
Finally a new girl started at the hostel to replace Tall one. A fun morning of training ensued, though she failed the first test; getting through the front door. She kept pressing the door bell and never thought to actually try the door (which is only locked during the night) so reception just sat and watched to see how long it would take her to get inside. On the way home tall one noticed how the circus seemed to be in town, first a goggely eyed man stopped in the middle of the road as Tall one crossed y him and took his cigarette lighter out and tried lighting tall one’s hair. This was immediately followed by a extremely over weight man, with a cast on one leg, sitting in a wheelchair wearing a balaclava being pushed up Dundas Street. Small had had given instructions for tall ne to buy a birthday cake for one of his 50 year old fan club members in the food court. Only as it was valentines day the only cakes that were a fair price were covered with love hearts... that would have to do, though it may send out the wrong message to her.
Tall one got some out of date Valentines chocolates and small one got some stale red kisses sweets – and a chicken dinner.
Monday 13th February 2012
Small one back to work and had the manager of the kebab shop come into his scullery shouting and pointing very aggressively because he had forgot to put in his order for plates and Small one had told them they’d have to wait until the actual orders were complete before he sent them theres. “Don’t you know who I am?” shouted the kebab shop man (....’yes your a kebab shop man’ thought small one). Small one said he’d call security as he was getting so aggressive, but was so shaken up he couldn’t get the walkie talkie to work. Finally Henry another worker came in and pulled the guy away and told him to settle down. Small one still called security and the manager of the food court and reported the ‘kebab man’.
Tall one came into work and took over from the night shift guy – the new Korean guy he’d trained (called CK) had just had his first night shift. He looked exhausted and left looking bewildered. The Portuguese cleaner Teresa came in complaining straight away about everything he’d missed. Then the Manager Sandra came in and said how she knew what CK was doing all night on his first shift as he’d sent her a ‘friend request’ on Facebook.... not the best idea to send your boss while on shift. Also had to grapple with a booking for a group of 30 people for the weekend which meant trying to move 3-4 people rooms who’d only just moved rooms. Another busy day, like yesterday – which was busy for no particular reason, it just was. With Ashley having left, he’s been having to put up with the somewhat well built German girl ‘Elke’ as his backup... who he spends most of his time finishing the jobs she barley started, and trying his best to let her know about this with brutal sarcasm.... to little or no effect, other than a confused “ehh?” or an annoying burst of loud laughter.
Tall one stopped by to exchange stories with small one in the food court, then headed home via the shaking old tramp at the top of the escalator begging for coins and the very bad Michael Jackson impersonator (well a red track suit, a black curly wig and sunglasses) out on Dundas Square.... sort of dancing. A couple of hours later after burning the boiled potatoes for sausages and mash, small one came home with another bag of presents from the old ladies work. They are still pleading him not to go and telling him he is there best friend.
Sunday 12th February 2012
Big car accident on Dundas street right outside the Russian’s newsagent. Apparently a car of 4 drunks just drove into a lamppost. One woman critical and the drunk driver got out and hailed a cab and escaped. Then another cab stopped and helped and took the woman to the hospital down the road. It was still taped off with news crews and police everywhere at 8am when tall one walked to work. Snow was coming down hard so a long, slippery walk in a snow storm.
At work tall one advertised the free chilli the hostel were making for the night, only to have the useless Chinese man ‘Bill’ (one of Chris’ friends whose lived there for years and always sticks his nose in) phone reception and say “what the hell are you doing saying its FREE on facebook, that’s bullshit we have to pay for it, you are supposed to put ‘on the house’”..... “Ok Bill, thanks very much??”. Tall one came home and found small one still in the long johns, still on his new tablet.
Saturday 11th February 2012
Well Tall and Small off work... Went for a bit of a shop. Small one spent $400 on some tablet computer as he was getting bored with his little laptop. The tablet turned out to be heavier and probably thicker than the laptop... still it looks nice. The Indian cashier who served us knew nothing of the computer, said that for an extra $50 he’d set it up for us, then when we said no he didn’t even give us a carrier bag. Outside the eaton centre there were children with big cardboard signs giving away ‘free hugs’, they were a bit young to be doing that kinda thing. Then we headed over to Parliament street and brought some long johns. Finally found them cheap in the naff dollar store – where small one buys rat poison. The Chinese cashier only charged us for one pair s we got 2 for $15. Have been sat at home in nothing but bight white long johns ever since, looking like a pair of full grown babies or something escaped mental asylum .
Sunday 5th February – Friday 10th February 2012
In the week Small one had a rather perturbed customer in the food court running around the food court asking if anyone had seen his brief case... no one had. Just after the man left one of the kitchen girls brought it out and said they found it an hour ago. Small one took a while to track down the man who’d gone up to lost and found on top level of the mall and then to the toilet. He found him eventually and gave him back the brief case, only for the man to tell him that he was a Police Chief who always tells his men to guard their police files with their life and he’d ended up losing his own files in the food court. Sadly there was no reward for small one and he hadn’t thought to of looked inside for blackmail material before handing the case over.
Tall one now getting very ready to leave the backpackers. On night shift last Thursday and took a good hour dealing with some black fella and some French fella sharing a room who’d fallen out. Listened to both sides of this very boring and tedious story, how Frenchie had asked the black fella to leave the room so he could skype and the black fella went off on one how it wasn’t fair and how he’d sort him out. Heard all this pissing and moaning from both of them over and over again at Midnight, whilst behind tall one in Reception the owner sat laughing at the absurdity of this childish falling out. Finally Tall one got the black fella to move rooms at 1am, and even then he started up again how un-fair it was and that the French guy was bigger than him so how could he have threatened him? Blur blur blur. I’m bored even now writing it, so imagine how I felt then at 1am hearing the tedious ins and outs of a nothing story....The joys of working in a big hostel. The other joy was that lost property was getting lost. We were finding people’s wash bag or someone’s red hat and putting it in lost property – then when they came up and asked for it we’d say “yes I remember finding it definitely”.... but then would have to say “actually i can’t find it”. Staff at the hostel had started taking the lost property, even on the day it was handed in. We phoned around and finally Rhona brought back the red hat she’d taken, never did find the wash bag though and the fella keeps phoning up for it.
Friday was also the little Japanese girl “Ashely”s last day at Canadiana. They’re a strange bunch who run it, as there have been times when someone has left whose only worked there for a few weeks who gets a big staff night out with beer and wings to say goodbye along with a card passed round for everyone to sign, then when someone like Ashley leaves whose been there for 5 months working 30 hours a week, she gets no card, no goodbye. The Manager even asked a few days later, ‘When does Ashley finish working?’.... 3 days ago.... Tall one is un-sure which of the two departures to expect, it will more than likely depend on what mood they are in that week. Even though there’s only two weeks till tall one leaves they still have not got a replacement, 3 weeks have gone by and nothing but wasted interviews which they come back from saying “they’ve got a Masters, people with Masters never work properly”. Tall one has processed some CV’s that come through, and has been tempted to reply to some people and tell them that it may be a good idea to not use txt language in a cover letter for a job – thnx....
Some good news...! The tramp outside TD bank / Old Town Hall who had lost his cat last year now has a new kitten.... its black and white. No doubt his begging income has tripled since the replacement has arrived and he’s also stopped shouting angrily in the street things like “where’s my cat?”. Only other news was that the weekly food shop to Fresh Co. on Friday is coming round quicker and quicker each week, and that Tall one dropped a jar of bolognaise on the floor and didn’t have to pay for it.
Saturday 4th February 2012
Tall and Small had been after a good Chinese takeaway for a long time and decided Saturday night would finally order one delivered. Small one took one look at the menu and said there was too much fish on it and was worried they’d contaminate his food with allergic oils. Small one had a microwave meal. Tall one ordered alone, spent $20 and the website told him it would take 45 minutes to deliver. Ten minutes went by and the phone rang.... they were outside. This wasn’t a good thing. Worst Chinese he’d ever had.... old and bland tasting junk.
Sunday 30th January – Friday 3rd February 2011
Spoke to the Irish guy in Newfoundland and he was happy for us to come and wwoof in May, just waiting for the final okay on our dates. The whale guy in Nova Scotia is also okay for us in June. Just waiting on Whitehorse organic farm to confirm our dates for March/April.... It’s gonna be a lot of travelling – squeazing the 2nd largets country in the world into 4 monthd travelling, with 9 weeks volunteer work.
Small one was gearing up for leaving at the food court. The little old ladies had started giving him leaving fists, home made cake (was not nice), bottles of wine (we don’t really drink wine) and chocolates (nice). Middle aged men working their were tearing up talking about him leaving... he will be missed.
Not missed by everyone though, as the former staff member who was fired last year (the one who complained to the Union that he was being harassed by small one when he was called a penguin or was it a scarcrow?), he was back in the food court inside the staff room talking to disgruntled (owner of a hand gun) Tom. Small one told him to leave and he started mouthing off about fuck you i don’t work here anymore, your being deported fuck you.... small one told him to tuck in his shirt, have a shave and smarten himself up a bit (like he always used to). In the end security was called who told him he’d be arrested if he came down again. Small one spoke to the union who told him the guy had just been sacked from his new job, which made it 3 in a row....
There was also this week a customer who asked small one directions to get to clothing store ‘Gap’. Small one pointed down the mall and said just go past Virgin and it’s a few shops down on the right. The customer looked shocked and said “how do you know she’s a virgin?”. Small one was confused, “that woman” the customer repeated, “how do you know she;s a virgin”. Small one point to the big shop that said “VIRGIN” across it and said “past the shop not the woman....”
Meanwhile more staff where leaving the backpackers where tall one worked. Little Yoko who cleans the bogs left yesterday. The owner had forgotten and wondered what he could buy her as a leaving gift at short notice, tall one suggested one of the airport shuttle tickets that they sell... ! He finally went out and brought an enormous hardback book of Canada landscape photos... Tall one hoped that he wouldn’t be lumbered with something like that when he left in a few weeks.
Staff were busy at the backpackers this week, with little Portugeus Teresa making egg soup for everybody. Everyone sung her praises at another job well done... whilst tall one is still trying to get that taste out of his mouth. The 30 year old South African guy who usually asks the “how do i talk to girls?” questions to tall one, this week asked “what does it mean to have a crush on someone?”. Tall one was starting to feel like a parent to this guy older than him.
Tuesday night a couple (who looked and smelt like pirates) checked into house 56 a private room, but snuck a dog in during the night. They then went out and left it barking all night. Chinese Bill who lives in that house and Yoko all came and complained that the dog kept them up barking till 3am. Tall one had to ask them to leave in the morning, they’ d been smoking in the room as well. When he told them they’d had a lot of complaints about the dog there was no apology, Tall one told the pirate to apologise and he did. A strange morning.
That’s the news up to date, still planning, still working, still counting down.
Small one was woken up the other night at 2am by Tall one rushing to the window and looking out, small one asked him what the matter was, and tall one told him there was a swan outside the window. Apparently he was dreaming, and small one was non too impressed.
Sunday 22nd January – Saturday 29th January 2012
Sunday 22nd Jan – Been doing a lot of planning for the 4 and a half months of travelling around Canada. Joined up with the wwoof website and have applied for work for accom and food jobs in Nova Scotia (helping a man watch whales for 3 weeks), a small farm on Newfoundland (run by a man from Dublin who wants a phone interview next week...) and an organic farm up in Whitehorse Yukon (where it gets as cold as minus 40 degrees). Waiting from confirmations on all these before booking trains, planes and automobiles to cover the country.... looks like we’ll be spending a third of the time stuck on a dusty old greyhound bus.
Monday 23rd Jan – Tall one met small one on his way to work to go thermos flask shopping in Canadian Tyre. It was an exciting trip, and took over half an hour choosing... there was cheap ones, there was expensive ones, plastic ones, steel ones, some had dents in, some didn’t, some had small cups, some large, some kept hot for 6 hours, some 12.... it was a lot to think about. Then we kept being interrupted by frustrated house wives asking small one “excuse me which way to the flower pots” or “is this item on sale”. As small one was dressed in his eaton centre gear (but distinctly no ‘Canadiana Tyre’ logo) he kept having to tell them “I DON’T WORK HERE”.
Wednesday 25th Jan – Tall one had numerous bizarre phone calls at the backpackers, involving questions such as “I don’t know if i’m calling the right number but do you take 2nd hand toys as i don’t want to throw them out....”. Another woman asked “can you tell me how i catch the marco?”, “i’m sorry what? Catch the marco?”.... “yes, how do i catch the marco?”, “i’m sorry what is the marco?”... turned out someone in the hostel called Marco had not turne dup for work flipping burgers that day, was passed out drunk.
Thursday 26th Jan – Night shift at the backpackers and a girl came down all thin with pink hair and asked to move rooms as there was an Indian woman in her dorm who had been sat at a right angle in bed, with her eyes closed for almost an hour and a half, and both this woman’s feet were on the ground pointed at her... Right said Tall one, i’ll just move you rooms. This was followed shortly by a young fella checking in who stood at the reception desk started to have a nose bleed. Tall one gave him tissue which he just stuck a bundle up there and went through check in with it sticking halfway out his nostril.
Friday 27th Jan – Snowed quite heavy in the morning, but was completely gone by midday. Tall one had the day off and headed out to the newsagent to buy popcorn and milk. On his way went past a middle aged black woman with an afro and very muddy jeans stood on Pembroke street laughing and shouting at the squirrels in somebody’s garden... she was still doing this after tall one brought the popcorn and milk and headed past her (quickly) back to the flat. That evening went food shopping at Fresh Co again, have been heading to Fresh Co over No Frills (scum bags) and Gateway delivery (over expensive). Small one had been over friendly to the Muslim security guard, who now recognises him every Friday and gets a trolley out for him with a big smile on his face. On this particular trip small one was asked by a little Indian woman to pass her a carton from the top shelf, he struggled and struggled and she kept complaining that he was reaching for the wrong thing. Finally he snapped and told her she was crazy as he is smaller than her and how did she expect him to get it!
Saturday 28th Jan – Snotty little blonde girl came down in the backpacker hostel and complained as she was checking out that a mouse had kept her up all night in the room. After a long speech she wanted to know what was going to be done about it, and tall one told her not very much as she was leaving. She said she was going to tell everybody about the mouse and stormed off.... but came back ten minutes later and asked for directions to the nearest salad bar on Queen street (Tall one was going to suggest that she asked the mouse).
Sunday 29th Jan – Took the two flasks back to Canadian Tyre as one was leaking and they were both too big. Served by an Irish girl from Donnegal. At least this time only took five minutes to choose a new flask, and small one was dressed in his civvies. Small one stoppe dint he discount store to buy the cheapest thankyou cards he could find for his 30 employees in the food court, for when he finally leaves. It was hard finding some which weren’t expressing some over the top message of gratitude.... ended up buying mostly blank cards.
Also took back tall one’s hiking boots to Payless shoes... served by the exact same woman who exchanged his last pair which fell apart in December (after only a month and a half of non-hiking use). She grumbled and moaned that they can’t keep swapping shoes for customers as they have to come to a point where it’s the customer whose the problem... Tall one expressed that a month and a half and these hiking boots were falling apart after he’d not even been hiking in them wasn’t good enough. Finally got some new boots... will no doubt be back in a month. Finally stopped in an outdoors clothing store to buy a jumper for tall one. The only one in his size was one on a headless mannequin. Tall one was going to leave it but small one called over some terrified girl who grappled with this mannequin until a large bald man from the counter came over and ripped the mannequins arms off to make it easier. Tall one had not even tried it on and just brought it – thankfully it fit once they got home.
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