Friday 18th January 2013
Small one headed out for his last day
cleaning the flour Mill, and he was much relieved as it has dragged
on and on and on. Today he told the Managers that he was going to do
nothing all day, no cleaning at all, as it wouldn't be fair on George
if he got back to find the place so spotless and not anywhere near
the standard he was used to. Small one left work early at 2pm and one
of the guys gave him a lfit down to Classic Flyers. There small one
brought a coffee and a rock hard, stale Ginger and Apricot Slice on a
slight staff discount.
Tall one's last day at Classic Flyers
started an hour earlier at 8am as Martin asked him last night to come
in and shfit 80 chairs down stairs along with ten tables... which was
nice. There was then a bit of a rush for an hour in the cafe and Tall
one juggled around soem food orders on the food counter. Erin left
early as she had to get blood tests again att he Docter, she told
everybody how she was off ill last Monday after food posioning from
Abra-Kebabra, then had to stand in the shower at home as she couldn't
control either end, she then pointed out everytime she went to the
bathroom and how she'd gone 4 times in half an hour now, all the
customers were aware of this by lunchtime.
After small one came in at 2pm, he
went to the rental place at 3pm. By 4.30pm he was still there and had
not collected the van. First the credit cards were all declined,
seemingly Tall one's UK card had a stop on it (they had to phone
later and clear), then as he was driving away our van a mechanic
shouted to stop as it was making an awful noise. We were then swapped
to a different campervan which two ladies had just dropped off,
though we then had to wait for a large plumber with a wax moustache
to replace the water pump and tab connection. Finally left with this
enourmous lengthy van and did our $176 Pack N Save shop. Back at the
Caravan Park and we had an email from the White Island tour company
(who we'd booked with yesterday for our tour first thing saturday).
They simply said, your booking has been cancelled.... ?? no
explanation, nothing. Phoned them up and some dippy woman said, oh it
was me who did that are you coming?..... yes!..... oh i'll put you
back down then. Then around 8.30pm, Sue and Lisa from the Caravan
Park office came over and had a beer each, we sat outside in the wind
and cold and chatted for half an hour, and thanked them again for all
their help. After they left a woman came round and brought our fan,
lap and table for $20, then some young girls giggling at small one's
Irish accent came and brought our two ring hob for $30, so only had
the heater and kettle left, not bad. Then small one's young 'hi five
me Conor' friend came over. Small one chatted to hi a while, he's
only 17, then when he said goodbye the boy said, “e and my family
are Christians and do you mmind if I say a prayer for you and your
friend to travel safe?”, small one did not object and stood next to
the lad as he did his thing, when he was done he tired to force soe
fruit on small one, telling him “fruit is good for you, we have
loads of fruit, we're fruit people, you want some nectarines, we got
somme nectarines, do you want some?”. Good night. The evening ended
with small one insisting that hi and Tall one did the base walk one
last tie, despite the fact it was 10pm, freezing and pitch black. But
on went the head lights and the jumpers, and away they went round the
base walk of the Mount one last time....
Monday 14th – Thursday
17th January 2013
Last week of work. Tall one was next
due in on friday, but was called in on the Monday due to Erin phoning
in sick. There was literally nothing to do though, they closed the
cafe half an hour early – so even if he had stayed on it would have
been slim pickens in the weeks ahead. Whilst Small one still at work
doing nothing, he at least is reading the newspapers cover to cover
everyday, and occasionally texting tall one asking 'seven letters,
starts with an 'a' and the clue is 'divide'.
Caravan Park was still pretty busy.
Had an old Northern Irish couple staying with their kiwi converted
daugther and grandchildren in our old van below us. Small one asked
the fella where he got that accent from, he said Belfast and then
took that as an invitation to walk into Small one's Caravan. Small
one gave him a beer, then couldn't get rid of him for an hour. Turns
out he used to work for the Police Force back in Ireland, but
emmigrated some 26 years ago, now retired from the Police he works
with contractors on that Matakana Island that runs for miles past the
Mount. He then came back the next day and brought small on a couple
of beers and the following night his misses came up (a bit half cut)
and told us these long stories about boating up the Shannon. Small
one was then invited to stay with them or any member of their family
when their 3 week trip was over. Small one then also made a new
friend with some family from Christchurch camped infront of the
toilet block, now he can't walk past to go have a piss without their
young son standing there waiting for him to say, “hey Conor!...Hey
mum it's Conor.... give me a high five Conor!”.... After the third
or fourth timr, i think small one realized that he wasn't all there.
The cleaner with the white hair (Terry?) has also started talking a
bit too much to mall one, even when he's int he toilet going in for
his crap, he's striking up a conversation, he's even asked fr him to
go and find him to say goodbye the day he leaves. Tall one avoids all
these awkwardnesses by just not talking or engaging to anyone (other
than small one).
Managed to sell our oveen/grill from
Salvos for $20, still waiting to sell the 2 ring hob though. Been
real windy again, the other day watched as soe fellas tent canopy
uprooted and spun in the air and crash landed the other side of some
else's van, making their children cry.
On the Thursday 17th, Tall
one went for the base walk on his own, and in the little andy/pebbly
cove they had seen that little Blue Penguin a few weeks ago, he found
a dead one. Quite sad, it was just lying face down on its own. That
night Martin from Classic Flyers arranged to meet them for a couple
of drinks. Pete couldn't make it, but Dez showed up after they bumped
into her in Bayfair the day before. It was hard to have a
conversation with either of them, as as soon as one spoke the other
would strike up their own point at the same time. Had four beers and
when Dez recieved a text from some random girl who had asked for her
number at Classic Flyers, small one stole her mobile and started
texting her back on Dez's behalf: Dez: “hey Honey how are you
xxx”.... “great how are you? Xx”.... Dez: 'Wet... all that
rain. Lol xx'....”yeah the rain sucks, how was your day?”....
Dez:”are you wet?”....(no responce).... Dez:”do you want to
meet for drinks one day xx”..... “sounds great”. Then after 3
glasses of wine Dez drove us home to the Caravan Park, whilst Martin
got picked up the by the girlfriend who ordered him home.
Sunday 13th January 2013
Tall one's last full day at work (has
one more shift on Friday unless they phone between then). Was a busy
morning, but dead quiet afternoon. The Mash Chopper pilot was about
again (endlessley washing the chopper as only one run today), he
asked Tall one how the engagement was going, to which tall one said,
“it's lasted on day at least so far”. After work got home for 5pm
just in time for Liam and Claire to come round for a goodbye /
engagement BBQ. They were a bit hungover from last night, but enjoyed
a good feeding fenzy with the local seagulls, though are neighbouring
caravans didn't like the noise and mob of the birds, looking at us
digusted as we tossed out left over burgers. We also found a little
rabbit under the van and gently fed him some lettuce through the
window.
Saturday 12th January 2013
The day started in Burger King,
ordering their simple $4.90 special for a Bacon Muffin with Coffee,
to which the girl couldn't seem to understand a word we were saying
and repeating back to us, “the meal with one tea and one
cappucino?”. Bus down to Classic Flyers and out into the Hanger for
our trip on a M*A*S*H style helicopter. The weather at 7am was bright
blue skies, but on the bus down was just a blanket of grey clouds.
Booked for 9am as Tall one was to start work at 11am, but small one
convicned him to not wear the work uniform ont he flight at least.
The pilot of the chopper introduced himself for the 15 minute flight.
He looked about 16 with his bad skin, greasy ears, t-shirt too large,
wearing shorts and big clumsy boots. He got a bit offended when
small one asked him how long he'd been flying. The MASH helicopter
had only been moved to Classic Flyers Museum/Cafe a few days ago, and
Tall one had watched this lad sat underneath it all day everday doing
nothing as there were not takers (Tall and Small were infact his
third customers in a week).
The Helciopter got towed out on a
trailer to the runway, and let us get inside. The design of the
chopper had the classic huge glass ball front, and no doors ont he
sides, so great visiblity. The thing was spotless, but mostly as the
lad had been cleaning it all day everyday with nothing else to do.
The pilot sat on the far side, small one in the middle and tall one
on the outer edge, a bit worried by the lack of door as the pilot had
showed him how easy the seat belt comes undone. Took off a bit bumpy,
but once in the air very smooth and felt very stable, even when the
lad did some funny twists anf turns over Leisure Island. Once in the
air we were very lucky in that the grey clouds had lifted, and there
was now blue skies, sunshine and scattered clouds, perfect conditions
for us. He started heading out over the Tauranga Port, then up to the
Mount, round the back, over the islands, then finally back to the
airport.
Back on the 1st May last
year (on the third anniversary of Tall and Small being together) Tall
one had an engagement ring and had booked a helicopter flight over
the Rockies, which ended up being cancelled due to high winds, the
alternative that day for proposing was kneeling down in Ccalgary
airport. Well, some 8 months later Tall one still had the ring, and
as they had both returned to the place they'd first met, and were up
in a MASH helicopter, Tall one proposed to small one. Because he
didn't know how noisy it would be he had written the proposal on a
small piece of paper and wrapped the ring in it, then once he knew
the trip was almsot over he nudged small one and casually handed him
the small piece of paper. Small one didn't know what the hell it was,
and could have easily dropped it. But, was delighted once he opened
it and understood. Small one said to the young lad flying that “we
just got engaged” to which the pilot said, “yeah i think we
did”?, we werent't sure what he meant, he he obviously didn't know
what small one meant. Small one repeated it and he said he now
undersootd, presumabley he was refering to the old 'Mustang' plane
from Classic Flyers which flew past us. Small one spent the rest of
the day in a daze, and texting and messaging friends and family back
home. Meanwhile when they landed (only after 11 minutes?!), Tall one
had to get changed and spend his day washing dirty dishes in the
cafe.
They marked the day by buying small
one a MASH t-shirt from the shop. But the owner of the Shop Brian (an
utterly miserable human being) and the South African lady Beth,
couldn't run a shop to save there lives. So after small one landed in
a daze he was even more confused when the two of them wwere fumblign
round trying to find t-shirt sizes, correct prices, correct buttons
on tills and kept walking off mid conversation to ask other customers
something. Was an amazing flight (even though seemingly we were
cheated out of 4 minutes, and got NO staff discount on the t-shirt OR
flight), started off our year on a real high.
It was a very hot, humid, sweaty day,
Tall returned home a ball of sweat, but they celebrated with a beer,
then walked to the top of the Mount, still as unfit as the day they
arrived.
Monday 7th – Friday 11th
January 2013
Odd weather this week. Very hot, but
quite cold mornings, very high winds. Went for a walk on the beach
and the wind was so strong it blew piles of sand into our faces and
clothes which we were picking otu for hours. Amongst the sand storm
watched the life guards out training, these huge group of little
tanned heads bobbing up and down on the enourmous waves. Back to the
Caravan to find that sand had come in all the open windows and had to
spend an hour cleaning that up.
Small one at work still confused when
the original cleaner George is back. People wishing him well as if
its his last week, then he tells them he has another full one, but
they say George is back next week? Some managers say he is, some say
he isn't. Small one un-sure if he wants to be here when George does
get back, as everyone has said they now realize what little good he
was doing and how things would change. Earlier in the week they had
small one doing some extra work, cleaning out gutters. Wa up stuck in
a cage at the top of a crane he was having to pull put crap from the
roof, wasn't too safe. Then a couple of days later they asked him to
wash the windows and get back in ythe crane, but the crane driver on
that day said no as he needs to have a pass to state he's past the
training for working at heights over 3 metres. The Manager got
involved and said to just sign it off anywayw ithout the actual test,
the driver said he wouldn't do it and suggest the Manager should, the
Manager wouldn't either, but suggested another man who had the pass
and could clean windows (small one's water now cold in his wahsing up
bucket). When they found the man they had mentioned, he said that
he'd never actually done the test, someone had just signed him off.
Small one had also been bumping into a few people from the Coffee
Club reently (except Janet), who all looked at him like they'd seen a
ghost as they all thought he was now over in Melbourne.
Tall one being trained up on the Food
service station in the cafe is finding it all very confusing. Sausage
rolls get put in the oven, then get a salad and a squirt of relish,
whilst Croissants get microwaved first then put in the oven then a
salad and a squirt of aoili, whilst filo pastries don't get
microwaved, get put in the oven then get a salad and a squirt of
aoili. But then German barister Angie would tell him not to put
something in the microwave first, only to then have blonde girl Laura
that he shoudl be. Blonde Laura had told him that the toasted
sandwhiches get microwaved for 45 seconds if double to melt the
cheese, then put in toaster, so when the chef gave him one to do, he
confimred witht he chef 45 seconds, put in the microwave for 45
seconds, only too have Blonde Laura walk by in a huff, stop the
microwave at about 36 seconds, reset it, then put it on for 30
seconds and walka way without another word.... She does like to
correct people that one. But not long left now, as Tall one handed in
his notice to leave in 2 weeks (last day Friday 18th Jan,
same as when Small one's contract ends at the Mill). When he gave in
notice with Karen she seemed to have tears in her eyes as she said
Angie had handed in her notice a few days before as well. A few days
later Karen went on holidays for 8 days, before she left she put up a
couple of work rostas for the staff. Tall one's last week only had
one single shift (Firday 18th Jan 9am-4pm), instead of his
usual 5 days, but strangley the week after he was down for 2 shifts,
which was the week after he'd left – so he gets more hours when
he's not here compared to when he is?? Also at the 21st
Birthday last weekend he'd somehow cut himself on the top of his
wrist, and put a plaster on it. Sometimes he has bad allergic
reactions to plasters and a few days later was this large, red, lumpy
inflamed skin in the shape of a plaster. A week later and it was
still there.
Life at Caravan Park was ticking by.
Handed in our notice with Sue who was fine with us leaving. Lots of
little boys were running around on foot or on scooters trying to
catch rabbits. A group of them grabbed one outside our van and small
one yelled out the window at them “OI PUT DOWN THE RABBIT!”. It
was his 'Conair' moment.... though hats off to the children as they'd
managed to do what the drunk lads at xmas couldn't. The only down
side to all the kids was that the toilets were usually in pretty ugly
shape (as well as constatly in use), Tall one found a little turd on
the floor of one cubicle. Put hand written 'for sale' signs all round
the park to start selling off our gear. Managed to sell the Power
Cord (from the tent) for $70 to another site, and the dodgy bike for
$90 to a German Backpacker. Tall one borught a replacement Kindle and
wondered how long till he broke all this new stuff he'd brought.
Sunday 6th January 2013
Small one mostly spent his day off
sleeping, then the afternoon atching hoards of ants in the van
talking to each other and eating the green blobs of ant killer gel
he'd scattered about the place. Tall one in at work half asleep, but
luckily very quiet day, and managed to set the tables and buffet for
the 230 person breakfast for 7am the next day (which he wasn't down
to work for).
Back at the Caravan and small one made
nachos. Outside the weather was stormy, grey clouds, drizzle and
enourmous waves smashing on the beach (supposedly 4 metre high swells
the highest since the 1980s??). Deciced to do the base walk about
8pm, but stopped for the ice cream van that pulled in. Queued for
over ten minutes, the fella serving was so slow, and kept making
jokes and chit chat with every chuld and parent, got so pissed off
walked out the queue. Stopped to play on the swings then started the
eventful base walk.
Text Chris from the Corkman to chase
up our visa application (he'd not responded to our last 2 emails
after saying 2 weeks ago he'd send us the form to sign the next day).
Heard back straight away by text that his 82 year old mother had just
died unexpectedly. Halfway round thee Mount stopped and sat to watch
an amazing sunset over Matakana Island. Orange bursting out from the
haze and mist, clouds pinkish in colour. Infront of which was this
dramatic ocean storm, titned orange and red from the sunset, huge
rows and rows of high waves breaking way out to sea, just endlessley
rolling in and smashing violently over the rocks like fireworks, and
in the middle two little boats bobbing up and down like corks slowly
making their way home. Kept walking back round the Mount, as it was
now pretty dark and 9pm. On the last third of the loop track when out
across a plain of rocks in one of the little bays was this very tall,
muscular girl walking calmly out of this hellish stormy waters across
the rocks dressed just in a bikini. Small one thought she was a
mermaid, or some pissed up girl out on her own. But then a few people
were stopped and watching her, and this fella with a walkie talkie
turned up and radioed that he'd found her. The girl then walked
confiendtally to the base walk path past everone watching, and
announced to the life guard that it hadn't been her best idea. They
started walking back to the beach and small one despertaley ran after
them at their heels to ease drop and find out what was going on. He
over heard her say she'd been swept away with the ocean current and
had had to just give up fighting it and swim with the waves wherever
they took her.
Back round to the beach and Caravan
Park, about 20 or more people were gatherred, and when they saw her
walking back unharmed and unphazed they started yelling things like,
“buy a lotto ticket love”. We then stood and chatted with some of
the people, turned out she'd left the beach to go 'swimming' in the
dark and the big swells on her own, and had told people she'd be
alright, then they watched as she just got engulfed in the huge
waves. Lifeboats went out, but it was too rough to get to her and
they watched as she just disappeared in the waves around the side of
the Mount behind the rocks.... everyone there thought that she'd
gone. But then she'd turned up a good ten minutes walk around the
Mount, somehow got onto the rocks... if she'd drifted out much
further she'd have missed the Moutn compeltley and gone round the
back towards the Matakana island or out to sea. Then went to bed and
watched Danger Man.
Saturday 5th Janaury 2013
Tall one in at 9am, then working on
till 1.15am due to a 21st Birthday Party Function. Small
one roped into working from 6-7pm and got a lift down with Sue from
Caravan Park Reception. Martin put small one to work as the bouncer /
door man to stop all these young lads (and parents) bringing in their
own booze. He found that they had a lot stashed in and around the car
park, so kept going out and hiding it from them to see what would
happen. That was small one for the night, literally just standing in
a doorway for 7 hours, he had volunteer Stewarts job, except he was
some 50 years younger and not completley flutered. Martin came out
early on in the night and had his indepth onversation with small one
about his failed marriage, subsequent relationships and the failings
of Classic Flyers, including how the owner Andrew is being sued by
two former female employees who he shagged. Meanwhile Tall one had to
help set out tables and chairs for a 230 person breakfast for 7am
Monday, then help run the bar upstairs for the function as well.
Around 11pm two 17 year olds turned up at the door pissed or stoned,
small one said they couldn't come in, but then Martin said it would
be ok. Five minutes later there they were drinking some little blue
cans of vodka mixers they'd smuggled in, then when they ran out
someone else brought them booze. Martin went to have a word with
them, but one of them pissed over the balcony into the cafe below.
The lads mother was there, who couldn't care less, sayying that she
knows her son and he wouldn't piss over the balcony. Finally all left
about half midnight. All 3 of us at the door, whilst the young girl
Cathy cleared upstairs. A fight broke out at the front door as one of
the 17 year olds was accused of stealing money, the parents then got
involved, there was lots of shouting in English Northern accents
(they were Bolton supporters), until they finally all buggered off.
Few more chairs laid out for the breakfast function, then finally got
home by 1.30am.
Friday 4th January 2013
Small one went to work early. He
stopped off in Burger King for a breakfast and aksed for a sausage
and egg burger, to which the cashier said, “the $4.90 one?”, he
said yes, and she said, “that'll be $2.45 please”. Small one was
confused and asked why, she said Breakfasts were all half price
between 6-7am, even though there was no signs up but she said it was
all over the TV (small one has no TV). Small one then went hard to
work pretneding he was doing work. Again more compliments on how good
hte place was looking and comments on how when George gets back as
cleaner he's going to have to answer some serious questions.... Small
one managed to get a lift back after work, one of the fellas dropped
him at the Caravan Park saying, “you gonna go look at tits now are
yer??!”. Small one then broought himself a pizza, some things from
the bakery and then something from the ice creamvan.
Tall one headed off to work for 11am.
He stopped off in the Mount Bookshop to return and buy some books as
his kindle was still broken. He'd recently been re-reading some books
he'd not read since he was a young teenager, which made the cashier
mention that they must be for his kids and not him. Tall one then had
a 12 hour working day as after the cafe there was a wedding function.
During the day he handed in hhis notice to Karen and Martin. Karen
had tears in her eyes as she said she knew something was up, and how
German Barista Angela had handed in hers a few days earlier. Martin
was happpy enough, but then his ex-girlfriend turned up to look round
the museum and Tall one had to hear his relationship history
explained. The wedding party then turned up, a strange setup as they
had the ceremony in the Hanger setup for 50 guests, of which only 30
turned up, then they had a meal (in the Armoury Room) for only 25
people and everyone else had to come back in 2 hours time. Then after
the meal 50 guests were due back to have a party, drinks and disco in
the Boeing room (1 small wedding in 3 functons rooms)... of which
only 15 turned up. The groom was this very tall and wide fella,
looked like Peter Kay with his double chin, but turned up with blood
dripping off his chin (must have cut himself shaving). The bride was
this tiny, bony, little Asian girl, looked like a school kid, she had
no neck, just these bony shoulders up round her ears, this constant
painful smile, and a bright red dress with bright red huge high
heels. The guests were a mix of Chinese fellas (who kept asking for
'cup of beer, cup of beer'???), some rough kiwis with their tattoos
showing on their forearms, and some stuffy men in suit buttoned to
the top. Martin had a bar tab running for them for up to $1000,
though it was very confusing as it was only half the price of a drink
to go on it. So if someone brought a $6 beer, we had to charge them
$3, then writr the other $3 on the tab.... but at the same time they
had a table bar with drinks on arrivial for the meal, including some
17 beers and 10 wines, which were all on the tab at full price not
half price..... They had no DJ or band arranged, just one twisting
spot light and a CD to play. They repeated the CD over and over, must
have heard Hey Jude about 7 times, the other songs were these weird,
random 90's tracks like “I'm the Scatman!”. The 70 guests for the
disco never shoed, so it was only about 30 people sat round a dance
floor, twice they all got up and did some bizarre barn dance style
thing all standing in a ring round the floor. When it got to 10pm and
there were only 15 guests left, the Grooms Father told me to just put
the full price of drinks on the tab as they had only used half of it
so far. A strange night, and very boring to be standing behind a bar
to serve one drink every half an hour. Also as they have to have a
Duty Manager with Bar License on site, Karen had to stay behind until
they left at Midnight, who just stayed downstairs in the office for 7
hours whilst Tall one did all the work (not that there was much).
Thursday 3rd January 2013
Most of the young lads and our musical
neighbours left this morning, though the 16 year old girls arre still
next door. Tall one in for work with orders to buy ant killer for the
van. Was a mad busy day in the cafe, didn't get a lunch break until
3pm – then he asked the annoying girl in charge (the one who calls
everyone 'babe' or 'hun') for a coffee. He waited twenty mintues
outside for it, but it never came, so he walked to Bunnings and
brought the ant killer – the casher was one of the Sherlock Holmes
Mudrer Mystery Actors (now back behind the till). Back at the cafe
(been gone 5 minutes) and was told that his coffee had been made but
they could ntof ind him anywhere.
Small one still not working hard in
the Flour Mill, though it goes to show how sweet little the usual
cleaner, George does – as they've all told small one what a great
job he's doing, how they've never seen the place so clean and how the
night cleaner has nothing to do now..... and small one's thinking he
spends half his day sat hiding in the showers. He hasn't told them
yet that when George gets back get him to stop using the same old
cleaning cloth for EVERYTHING (meaning George had one clot that he
would wipe out the toilet bowls then wipe down the canteen tables
with....) small one found so many clean cloths un-used he's been
throwing them away everyday.
Back at the Caravan Park and small one
went to use the toilets, standing outside the door was three young
boys, all saying, “you got to let us in mister, you just got
to?”... small one said, “fine it's $3 each”.... “no no Mister
you got to let us in, he's been handling a wild animal he needs to
wash his hands”.... “small one (a little confused) said, “that's
fine, $3 to go in”, the boys continued, “please Mister, you know
number 3 don't you?....you can go look at number 3, he's been holding
a wild animal and it was a rabbit and if you go to number 3 you will
see the rabbit”. Small one opened the toilet door for them, “well
you better go in then”.
Wednesday 2nd January 2013
Tall one working again, had a busy day
in the cafe, busier enough to crush the nail on his little finger
between the dish washer and some plates until it turned purple. Then
tall one got stuck standing on the industrial Hewletts Ave road for
just under an hour waiting for the bus back (seemingly they were
running on Public Holiday times??). Small one off work again, had to
move vans again, originally supposed to be moving into the half size
van next to us, which the group of young lads had been pissing and
vomitting and scattering booze and takeaways over for the last few
days.... but Sue changed us around and put us in this fantastic
(though with a 70's interior) big Caravan back up the slope. Big bed,
table and sofas, kitchen area, little strange bathroom area with just
a sink and some coat hooks behind a little door in a corner.... So
small one moved it all up into there, then sat down and watched the
family in the van opposite move down into a different van, and then
the boys who were in the half one move up to the one opposite our new
van. The boys methods of moving was to throw everything out the van
onto the ground, so there was just a pile of rubbish, boxers, socks,
laundry, bottles etc, then carried it all up the hill and dropped it
on the ground outside the new van, they then pegged down their tent
roughly and left for the day leaving everything on the floor. After
the base walk chatted to the musicians who had been above us, buy
were noow in the van to the otherside of us. They said that group of
young girls in the van on our otherside were only sixteen and have no
parents with them, wonder how the camp ground let them in.
Tuesday 1st January 2013 New
Years Day
Small one slept most of the day after
they had packed up everything ready to move the next day. Had had
emmails from Chris from the Corkman saying we had everything and he
was going to email us the forms the next day (this was a week ago)
ready for us to sign and send back and submitt everything to
migration on the 2nd (tommorrow).... he's not responded to
our 2 emails since then, and he had also said he was going away for a
week from the 11th of Jan, so can't see him getting stuff
to us, then us posting it to Aus and then being submtitted before
that.
When tall one finally woke up Small
one some time in the afternoon, they went for a wonder in the
fantastic beach weather. Went on the 1 hour, $19 boat cruise around
the harbour. Then walked along the beach and brought a frozen yoghurt
ice-cream (in a tub not a cone?) just before they ran out of ice
cream and closed. Sat out the front of the van drinking some beer,
whilst the lads in the van next door were trying to catch a rabbit to
put in their two man sling shot to fire into the ocean. The van
behind us (up the slope) had been playing and singing with acoustic
guitars and yukeles for the last few days, which had been qutie nice.
Small one cooked a sitr fry, then we put a movie on and tall one fell
asleep within 20 minutes.
Monday 31st December 2012 New Years Eve
Tall one on day shift at work. Was
given the fun job of defrosting a frozen solid freezer, which was so
solid that the cold had not got to the raw red meat stuffed in the
door storage, and so the red meat had defrosted and dripped blood all
down the door, floor and other food. Was a fun, bloody clean up job.
Small one iin as cleaner at the Flour Mill for one day only, still
giving himself hour and a half breaks before even taking his lunch
break. They stopped early though to have a staff BBQ for New Year, in
which the sausages small one ate were filled with soggy white stuff,
then he heard someone say there was some seafood sausages there....
so being allergic to seafood small one spent the next few hours
waiting to throw up, but it never came.
Both back at the van by mid afternoon.
Started on the beers, and ordered in pizza, chicken burgers and
wedges from the Mount Takeaway place. The dozy drunk teenagers next
door were starting to use the grass outside their van as a toilet,
one dozy blonde girl knocked on our open van door and stepped inside
not waiting for an answer. “Where you from?” she wanted to know.
Tall one had meant to tell her that an open door was not an
invitation. She then started mocking small one's irish accent and
asking boring questions about what kind of music you liked. It ended
with her friend also stepping inside wrapped in a duvet and small one
just saying “get out!”.....
Walked down the Maunganui beach around
7-8pm. Police had fenced off large sections, two band stages were
erected. Small one had met the nerdy camp lead singer from one in the
takeaway place a couple of hours before. There was some embrassing
parents dancing in the road whislt their children hid their faces.
Then headed on for the base walk round the Mount. As we started by
Tauranga Harbour, a bus pulled in and 30 odd teenagers came tumbling
out, screaming and yelling. One young fella ran towards the water,
straight to a jet ski which some old fella was just about to go down
for to attached back to his trailer. But the lad was not going down
for the jet ski, he went down and started to piss in the water, then
a few other Lads joined him, some pissing, some vomitting, it was all
a big fat ugly mess. Went around a quiet base walk, saw a seagull
feeding its grey fluffy chick, but no Blue (or Fairy) Penguin this
time.
Sat in the van after dark and had
another beer, but both of us past out by 10pm. Waking around Midnight
to hear the fireworks going off over the beech and people screaming
count downs outside, so just went back to sleep without getting up.
Sunday 30th December 2012
Tall one off work again. Small and Tall
headed into Tauranga, spending money left, right and centre on
haircuts and laptop bags.... Small one's new hair cut trimmed his
fringe back so far that his dirty tan line now gave him a little
brown circle of a sun tan around his face. Pak N Save food shop then
home.
Saturday 29th December 2012
Tall one back to work grudgingly. A
busy day, as was blistering hot sunny weather, on the one day of this
week he was back to work. The Caravan Park has goone crazy with
punters. Tents and vans and cars have popped up in every available
space, he place looks like a shanty town, or some kind of evacuation
area. The van next to us (the small one we're due to move to on
wednesday) is occupied by a group of youg boys, who are with a van
up above full of young teeage girls. All of them drunk in the
afternoon running back and forth shouting at small one in our poor
van. There was a moments peace however when the sound of bag pipes
was heard, then a wedding procession marched around the caravan park
and up around the boardwalk, complete with a bag piper infront of the
bride and groom.
Tall one back after 6pm, Tall and
Small then had pork and pasta, followed by a beer and jelly? Went for
a walk round the mount, which was heaving with people, mostly there
to watch another big cruise ship leave (there's been one a day, so
that novelty has long worn off). At the far side of the Mount
(nearest the ocean) Tall one spied a little white and black ball down
in one of the small sandy coves. He kept his eye on it, then it
moved... it was a Fairy Penguin. Finally got the nerve to edge down
to the rocks and then we sat about 8 foot from him for a good half an
hour. He just sat there being splashed by the odd big wave, cleaning
himself thoroughly. A family came and watched a while, then a young
Finish Couple, who we left to it as it got too dark to stay any
longer (we presumed as soon as we were gone they would be carrying
the poor thing like a baby, especially now it had gone to sleep).
After it got dark, this big, blood red full moon rose on the horizon.
Was a nice evening, then back to the van to listen to the drunk
teenagers.
Friday 28th December 2012
Small one up at 5am for work again.
Strugglign to fill his day, having a break from 10am till 11am, then
going and sitting down int he staff showers out of sight between 11am
and 12pm, then taking a lunch break between 12pm and 1pm....
Unberabley boring stretching so little work thoughout the day. Even
the managers have told him they have noticed how much work he's
doing! When small one was stood outside the ladies toilet waiting for
someone to leave so he could clean, the Flour Mill workers were sat
about and asked who was in the girls toilet, small one said her name
and there responce was, “ahh she's probably got some tissue that
shes rubbing up herself... smell the seat when you go in.... i reckon
she's got the whole toilet roll up there!”. Small one noticed that
the Mill workers seemed to only work an hour, then take an hours
break, then work an hour, then another hour break again. Small one is
also playing up the the irish drinking stereotype, as they asked if
he had a trade, to whih he said 'only drinking'. They asked if he had
a rough night, and he said yes from the drinking, when they asked
what he drank, he said anything.... (obviously he reality being
drinking a g;ass of milk with his dinner, then maybe a cup of tea.
Then bed by 9.30pm).
Tall one spent his last day off sat
inside the Caravan drinking coffee watching movies as it was teeming
with rain outside. Trouble was drinking so much coffee meant frequent
dashes through the rain to the toielt block. A family setup tent
opposite the van, and erected a waist high chicken wire fence around
it (digging it well into the ground), tall one wondered if they had a
dog or pet with them, but turned out it was installed for their
child.
Thursday 27th December 2012
Small one up at 5am, to get ready and
walk to work at the Flour Mill for 7am. Nobody else there so would
not get the keys for another hour to start work.
Meanwhile Tall one enjoyed the rest of
his week off. Caravan Park was pretty busy, had to queue to use the
toilets and showers. But most people were families or couples, and so
all a good atmosphere in the place. Tall one spent the morning
sorting out the laptop then up town to go back to basics and buy
second had paperbacks as the Kindle screen was still broke and the
Town was sold out for another month after xmas.
Wednesday 26th December 2012
– Boxing / St Stephens Day
Took the bus down to Bayfair Shopping
Mall for the sales. Bus driver was this big toothless woman, stopping
to beep her horn and shout at a man pulled over in a bus stop that
she didn't need to use anyway. Bayfair was absolute chaos, though
struggled through and found a good laptop to replace Tall one's
smashed one, for only $348. Turned out it was the last one in stock.
The queues were silly though, wrapping around the shop aisles, and
queuing for a good 15-20 minutes to be served. Small one had a
headache from knocking his head on the low caravan ceiling, something
that usually only tall one does. So finally got back on the bus and
got back to the van to rest. Small one cooked an amazing turkey roast
with veg, and then we watched the Great Escape on the new laptop.
Tuesday 25h December 2012 Christmas Day
Too foggy and wet for a walk up the
Mount for a sunrise, so stayed in bed and listened to the rain
drumming on the tin caravan roof. Fried sausage sandwiches and
cornflakes for breakfast. Then small one cooked the huge Lamb roast
in our tiny oven for Christmas Dinner. The Lamb was originally some
$16, but one of the workers saw him looking at it in Pak N Save and
said, we can do better than that, took the roast away and brought it
back with a 'Reduced' sticker for $8 on. Then threw all our leftover
lamb out to the seaglls which caused chaos outside the van for a good
ten minutes. After recovering from gorging ourselves on dinner and
Christmas Cake and chocolate, somehow managed to walk up the Mount to
the summit, which was completely fogged in. Later walked around the
base walk in the pitch black as well. Then made the phone calls back
to UK and Ireland, before passing out watching Danger Man.
Monday 24th December 2012
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve and it pissed very hard
with rain all night and morning. Small one went for his shower, only
to find a father trying to drag his screaming child into one next
door (“NO I'M DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE! NO! NO!”). To which an
old man started shouting through the door to the chuld that “hey
this is Santa Claus and you won't get any presents if you don't
shower....”.
Midday walked up town and had a beer
served to us in a jam jar with a handle. As we sat there a young lad
named Darcy walked past and recognized Small one from the Coffee
Club. Darcy had previously worked there and said to us there how he
hadn't been paid when he left and it took her ages to sort it, and
how Janet was “just not right in the head”, Small one is always
pleased to hear from Janet's ex-employees. Brought a case of Lion Red
and a case of Steinlager Classic and walked back to the Caravan. Then
a little pickup selling vegetables drove round the sites stopping to
sell to customers so we brought some cabbage and strawberries. In the
afternoon the rain had stopped, had a good walk round the base of the
Mount. Mount was covered with mist, huge waves were rolling in and
crashing around the base walk rocks. Back at the Caravan Park to find
three missed calls and texts, and an answer phone message which was
from a drunk sounding Pete (Bar Manager from work). Phoned him back
and he was pretty pissed, just offering for small one and tall one to
come round for a kiwi Christmas Dinner tomorrow.... Small one had a
look of horror on his face at this, so we made our excuses.
Sunday 23rd December 2012
Both in pain from the 2 late shifts in
a row. Small one complaining of a broken toe. Tall one went in for
work in the cafe (last shift before xmas) only working 11-5. Small
one caught the same bus but went on to Pak N Save to get the food
shop. Ending up spending $180 ($30 just on a Turkey Roast), limping
out the shop with three bags and a backpack of food. Caught the bus
at the same time as a young German Backpacker, who happened to get
ont he bus when him and Tall one were passing Pacific Coast Hostel on
the way in. Small one asked him why he left Pacific Coast Hostel and
where his Guitar was, to which the German lad was a bit taken a back.
Turned out he'd not long arrived, travelling alone, lost his wallet
and couldn't get work. Small one gave him some tips and showed him
where that awful Budget Backpakcers was in Tauranga. The German said
he had thought small one was also German as he was speaking in broken
English and not normal.... Small one got back and then found out we
could move vans earlier instead of the 28th Dec (there had
been some double booking so we could not stay there till 2nd
Jan now). He took 2 hours moving everything over one at a time,
limping the whole way. New van not bad, down a level, bit smaller and
less storage / power points / view of beach, but has a decent pull
out table between two soft facing sofas, and hopefully no ants, but
they may come once the food has been packed away. Christmas
decorations were up, the tree from Salvation Army (still with price
tag on), plus the Christmas Stockings (one with a Napoleon like
Snowman on, the other with a legless Teddy Bear). On the shelf above
the bed small one arranged our collection of empty NZ beer bottles,
and some xmas decorations, so the effect when Tall one arrived home
was like he was running a small raffle from the Caravan.
Tall one staggered around the cafe
working for his few hours, aching and dreary from lack of sleep.
Thankfully the cafe was really dead today. A new barista girl was on
today, she was the one who had worked a trial about 2 weeks ago, been
there all bloody day only for the girls all to say how rubbish she
was the next day (though tall one thought she worked quite well), but
here she was back, and Tall one was being told that this is a good
worker and she knows her stuff. There was a function for the
volunteers for Christmas, which was just a tray of sausages and
another tray of white slices of bread. Stewart and Joyce turned up,
Stewart wearing large sunglasses (inside on a rainy day?) and a
woman's top with rainbow 'Merry Christmas' writing, matching Joyces
top. Joyce caught Tall one unaware and invited him and small one out
for a Chinese Restaurant tomorrow night out in Fraser Cove? She even
phoned the restaurant to make sure they had space, thankfully Tall
one said he'd have to ask small one first and phoned later from the
caravan park to cancel. We were also told earlier in the week that
there would be staff drinks after work today, but all the staff left
early, leaving only Karen, the new girl and Tall One. When they
finished mopping, nobody mentioned any drinks, no other staff had
showed up, and out in the cafe was only sat Andrew and a few
volunteers, so Tall one just left. Before he left for the bus though
Karen gave him a big hamper of wine, chocolates and cakes with a big
ribbon on it for all his help. Was a bit of a big, camp thing to be
carrying all the way home on the bus (lots of people asking
'humorously', “is that for me?”).
Saturday 22nd December 2012
Small and Tall both in at 10am again
for the final 15 hour shift and final Sherlock Holmes evening dinner
function at Classic Flyers. Started the day on a full stomach by
stopping in town to have a Big Breakfast and a Coffee, spending some
$50 between us. At least day time was quiet today, which was lucky as
they were both screwed from working so long and late yesterday. Got
through the day then started the Sherlock show around 5-6pm. Manager
Martin came back in to work with two middle aged women in tow,
apparently one was his partner and the other her friend who he'd had
to pick up from somewhere to take home, but they would have to wait
around here until he was ready to leave. The 'friend' of his partner
was pretty well 'fucked', probably put out from the last place from
drinking so much. She wouldn't leave small one alone, going on about
the Irish and following him around the tables as he laid up. Small
one just ignored her completely and stayed silent, despite her
constant questions, to which she got no answers and in the end said,
“what goes round comes round mate and you'll get yours for treating
me like this” to which small one said, “nobody likes a drunk”.
Martins partner even vomited in the car park, and asked fake tan
Actor Manager, Tom to not tell Martin, though it was Martin who had
to scoop it up. Thankfully they left around 7pm ish, but they weren't
the last drunks for the night.
The 170 guests arrived, 70 odd were
broken up into different groups, but 100 of them were from Mata Mata
from a company named Daltons. Mostly Mauris and already very drunk in
the door at around 6pm – slurred speech, staggering walk, red
eyes.... of course we served them, and most of them drank the working
mans dirt cheap beers, Red Lion and Waikato. One of them in a vest
top got so bad drunk he was refused any further service from us, and
around 10pm we found two great big, fist size holes punch into the
Gents toilet room walls (and this fella with swollen knuckles). No
one had seen him so nothing we could do though.
During the actual performance the
drunk guests stayed mostly quiet, which was surprisingly. Though a
lot of guests later said to small one that the show was a load of
shit. A few had come in costume and it was a little bizarre seeing a
cross eyed Mauri fella dressed up in the Sherlock Holmes tweed cape
and deerstalker hat. Service went well and fast enough. Again, they
had two good girls on wash-up for a change, so Tall one never even
washed a dish for a change – compared to having to take over from
someone very slow to get it done. One of the girls was accountant
Michelle's young daughter who worked through stacks of washing up
taller than her, completley un-phased.
The 'Prime Suspects' actors were still
a mixed bag. Fake Tan Manager Tom kept shushing small one who kept
making more noise than necessary to piss him off. Sherlock Holmes
still stunk of B.O, and made the mistake of making Irish Potato
Famine jokes to small one (of all the things to make jokes about the
Irish why choose that??) Though at least Sherlock was one of the more
friendly and thankfully actors out of what was essentially a group of
wankers. The young lad with a slightly askew eye who played Watson
was still very snotty nosed, and one of the supposedly glamourous
girls playing Tom's mistress (the one who apparently is also a
strippers some nights in Tauranga strip club) asked Tall one in the
middle of a busy servcie for a cup of Lemon and Honey in hot water??
This was the final show for them and us, and despite Tall one being
the only staff member at every show, he got no thanks from them –
Tom had asked him his name a few times at previously nights, but
always forgot it by the next time he asked. There was also their
strange hulk of a guy who did their lighting. Who always hung around
the kitchen asking for more meat or brownies, and would take all the
leftovers off customers plates home. When small one took in their
dinner wrapped in tin foil, the big hulk fella took off all the tin
foil and sloppily licked it all clean with his tonngue, frantically
so no one would see him do it. He also hung about trying to chat to
Dez behind bar, saying how this was the final show and all and he
should have a final chat with her, she wasn't too impressed.
After the performance finally ended
the Band came on and played only for 1 hour before they packed up and
left. They seemed to be a Blues Brothers tribute band in their getup
and how they played half a dozen Blues Brothers tracks to open.
Though some of them were in Chefs Pants, and some dressed as YMCA
members, and halfway through the set they'd start playing ABBA songs.
As that big group of drunk Mauris from Daltons started leaving,
Barman Pete posted Small one to stand/sit in the Museum shop to make
sure no one stole anything, he also posted Tall one at the front door
to make sure no one took any booze home as they don't have the
license to take off premises. So for an hour Tall and Small's job was
just to stand in different rooms, whilst the washing up girl had
nothing to do as there was no one to clear tables. Tall one got
chatting to the Dalton groups Bus Driver who was there to collect
them. He was this little stooped fella with a white pencil moustache,
who told him they'd all been drinking on the drive down here, passing
bottles of rum, asking him to stop at every other bottle shop for
more and then having to pull over to piss by the side of the road. He
said they'd probably tear his bus to ribbons now, but he didn't seem
overly fussed, he seemed to expect it by now.
Finally all guests left by 12.30pm,
and Tall, Small and Pete and to spend half an hour lugging around 18
huge, heaving metal tables and 170 Chairs. Not great work at 1am
after two 15 hour shifts in a row (and one 13 hour shift before that
for Tall one). Pete then got us to sit down and have a free bottle
before we left. Small one took this chance to ask all the staff if
the word 'Cunt' was offensive in New Zealand, they said it was very,
but this didn't stop small one using it some more. But when we all
left at 1.30am, we were all pretty thankfully that this was the final
big night of functions and long hours, been waiting for this moment
for a long time, Tall one had been wearing those cheap, sweaty K-Mart
work trousers so long that his legs now had a rash. Merry Christmas.
Friday 21st December 2012
Small one and Tall one both worked the
15 hour day at Classic Flyers. Tall one in dishwash and the cafe and
small one setting up tables and running food for functions. Despite
the rain, a mad busy day – couldn't wait for the function of 200
people just to have a rest. The Sherlock Holmes dinner went quite
well, they had good staff in tonight, tall one barely did any washing
up for a change. It was old Stewart and Joyce's 33rd
Wedding Anniversary after Midnight and they said they wouldn't be in
Saturday Night for the final Sherlock Holmes Function. Tall one asked
little old Stewart what he was doing for the Anniversary, to which he
said he might just get 'plonko' or if not he'd just get 'her
plonko!”. Small one got talking to Classic Flyer's baking chef,
Tina – who had also previously worked for Janet at the Coffee Club.
She confirmed how crazy she was then, how she'd phone her at 1am and
tell her she had to work next day, how she had to work 21 days
straight with no day off and no lunch breaks, and how they went
through a chef a month over the 9 months she worked there. Small one
is always pleased to hear from Janet's ex-employees.
Thursday 20th December 2012
Tall one left for work at 10am,
finished at 11.30pm. Third last Sherlock Holmes dinner plays before
it all ends at Christmas. Was originally 70 people coming, but
numbers dropped to 40... so all pretty easy. Cycked down on small
one's new, fire engine red bike. Managed to not get hit by a car, but
all the same decided to get a lift back after 13 and a half hours
working.
Small one started his new job at The
Flower Factory (Goodman Fielder, on Wharf Road, Mount Maunganui). At
the gates for the Port he was told he couldn't walk to the
building/factory, he would have to wait for a shuttle bus. So a bus
was phoned and it came and collected him and took him to the factory
at 7am. It was a factory for 'Flour' not 'Flowers' as Tall one had
mis-heard. Went inside to find a group of very rough looking men
(like Gail from the Blueberry Farm, Coffs Harbour), but all wearing
white coats like Doctors. Small one did not know where to go, but
then one real rough toothles man came up in his white coat and asked
him “what are you doing here?”. Small said he was looking for
Mike, to which the man said, “Mike, that fucking cunt don't show up
this early, he's not here till after 9!”. Long pause and then the
rough fella asked, “what the fuck are you looking at me for?”,
small one said, “as your talking to me”. The rough fella asked if
he was the new cleaner, small one said yes, turned out the rough
fella was the current one who was going away for Christmas, and small
one was covering him, his name was George. Small one spoke to some of
the other workers, all of who looked in their late 30s, but turned
out most were actually in their early 20s. The other staff found out
he was replacing George and said “it'll be a holiday for you, as
know one knows what the fuck George does here”. Sure enough small
one soon found out himself as George showed him the ropes. Firstly
there was a couple of toilets to clean, then showers, then the
caferteria and two bins to empty. This was dragged out over a few
hours, and would probabaly take small one only 1-2 hours. George
broke this up by having very long smokos (fag breaks), very
frequently, then when they broke for lunch small one asked how long
to take, and George said “oh a couple of hours”. He was sat with
George doing absolutely nothing but watch him smoke for half an hour,
when all the manager came in, walked past, and back again, and
clearly saw George was doing nothing, but said or did nothing. All a
bit surreal. George was a ral bullshitter and shit-stirrer, he told
one person that he was back from holidays on the 12th,
when small one was told the 18th, then told someone else
he was away till the 28th.... One manager pulled small one
aside and told him not to listen to those dates. George also went on
about, “now don't clean anything you don't have to and if you do
fucking go in and tell 'em so you get paid for it, if you clean those
windows going in and write it down so you fucking get paid for it,
don't clean anything you don't fucking have to....” Small one was
being paid hourly anyway? Small one also got a quick tour of the
factory, right up to the high level grain silos, down each level as
the grain was shaken and crushed into flour, some fella making him
feel flour samples at each point, and down into the guts of the
factory, all quite impressive, if it wasn't for all the giant rats
running around your feet. When they were up in the high rafters, the
man showing him around pointed to some very old wooden beams and
showed him how every employee for the Mill, dating right back to 1911
(and a huge amount in the 1930s) signed and dated the beam. Small one
then got to add his name to the beam” Conor Hegarty – Ireland Dec
2012. So small one went home at 3.30pm, glad that next time he'd be
in George would be on his holidays, but wondering how he'll pad this
job out each day to fill 8 hours??
Small one spent the afternoon getting
more Christmas things for the Caravan. In the 123 Dollar store the
Korean Man at the counter said to him, “oh you Christopher, I know
Christopher!”, small one said “what?!”, then he pointed to the
St Christopher medal and it all kind of made sense. Small one then
went into the Salvos and brought some bundles of tinsel and
decorations for only a $1 a bag, as he charmed the old women behind
the counter (with his “Christmas is whats on the inside that
counts...”) in order to swindle a Charity out of an extra $1.50 per
item.
Wednesday 19th December 2012
Small got got a call back about the 3
week job cleaning a factory, he headed off into Tauranga for the
interview with the Job Agency. Part of the induction was to do a
Maths exam, which consisted of questions like, what is 448 x 1048?
Luckily they gave him a calculator. The other exam was for English,
which even the staff said was mostly for foreigners, it consisted of
questions like: “Pat's mother took him to the Supermarket... Where
did Pat's Mum take him?”..... “Pat brought some Oranges and
Lemons at the Supermarket.... what did Pat buy at the
Supermarket?”.....”Pat wanted to ride on the shopping trolley but
could not as his sister Lucy was in it.... Why couldn't Pat ride on
the Shopping Trolley?”. Luckily he past. They then gave him
directions to the Factory, and then could not believe he did not have
a car and got worried how he'd get there as it was so far away. Small
one said he had a bike so all was fine, so then had to go out and buy
a bike from Cash Converters for $100. He cycled back over the bridge
to the Mount to find her directions were completely wrong, and after
a lot of work was told that there was an entrance just down the road
from Burger King (which is about 15 minutes walk from the Caravan, so
no need for a bike!!). Small one then had to prove he had done the
induction to let him even set foot inside the Dockland grounds, and
it turned out he'd be cleaning a cafeteria and toilets for a Flower
Factory. Three weeks work starting after Xmas, so all good.
Tall one wasn't due to start work till
5pm, so spent the day roasting in the baking hot Caravan. Sparrows
came in the door and ate crumbs off the floor and a baby rabbit sat
by his feet when he moved to sit outside for a while, if it wasn't so
humid it may have been idyllic. The young Hippy Caravan Park
residents (with the dreadlocks and tight rope walking on the beach)
took down their make shift tent made of blue tarp and branches and
left the park (they had been here even before we arrived). Stacey
from the Corkman phoned and went through some visa application stuff
with him, she's going back to Ireland for a month this friday and
said the form would be left with Chris and Brent, and would probably
not get sent off till 1st week of Jan. Other than that all
looked good, she said the Hostel needed a lot of work, the staff
spend more time socializing than running a business, so will see what
it's like if we ever make it there. Tall one headed in to work to
find he wasn't really needed, they had plenty of staff on. It was an
event where the last running Mosquito plane was landing at the Museum
and so big crowds were there, and so we needed extra staff on the bar
and running wedges and pizza. All went smooth enough, last hour was
just waiting for the owner and his few friends to leave so we could
lock up. One elderly member of staff who Tall one had nodded at a few
times came over to him and said, “I'm dying by the way....”, Tall
one looked surprised and un-sure what to say, until he realized she
actually said her name was Diane by the way.....
Thursday 13th – Tuesday
18th December 2012
Small one still looking for work ended
up phoning Peter from Vinetech, who we'd worked for back in 2009.
When Peter answered the phone Small one said, “Hi Peter, you may
not remember me but I worked for you back in 2009...”, “Hello
Conor from the Ducks Nuts” said Peter.... he remembered the small
one. He said for him he had work, and Gary would pick him up at the
Ducks Nuts tomorrow, to which small one said he was actually out at
the Mount but could get a bus in, Peter said he'd have to check and
find out how that would work.... small one never heard from him
again, despite text messages and phone calls to him.
Small one went to work at Classic
Flyers on the friday night with Tall one. There was a large 160
person xmas party, who had a $10,000 bar tab. It was mostly toothless
Mauris who got drunk and noisy very quickly on the working mans beer,
Lion Red and Waikato. Small one also helped mop the cafe floor and
when he took it from staff member Laura, she asked him if he knew how
to use one?.... what? Said small one. Also had the couple in their
80's Stewart and Joyce helping out again. Joyce was very groggy said
she was done in from last week working for free till 1am, whilst
Stewart in his little dicky bow was sneaking out bottles of wine and
drinking glasses of wine behind the counter, then when someone would
ask if he had had a drink, he'd say no. Most of the night consisted
of Stewart making silly verbal and visual gags to any person who
walked past, usually just confusing them “where's your name badge
aye, can't let you in here?”.... “i'm sorry what?”. Small did
get a a $40 tip though (so to speak), as he found it in a bundle on
the floor by the bar, kept it till the end incase someone asked, but
no one did – so Pete said to just keep it.
Small one finally kicked off the
complaint about Janet at the Coffee Club. Complained to Head Office
about her and her comments. They responded well saying they treated
any harassment / discrimination complaint very seriously, that
morning we saw Janet frantically pacing the front of the cafe on the
phone. The investigator asked for more witnesses and former employees
with complaints, and a few days later said Small one would finally
get the 19 hours and holiday pay owed to him, so in the end he
won.....
Meanwhile at the Caravan Park, lots of
vans were turning up which were Horse trailers converted into homes,
all very confusing. Also we finally dropped a complaint into the
feedback box about the men's toilets, as the fella with the white
hair who mops em each morning was not scrubbing all the shit stains
off the back of the loos, so now every single on of them was stained
and was pretty disgusting. A couple of days later it was sorted and
we could crap in more comfort. Weather getting lot more humid as
well, thought getting more storms clouds at same time. Tall one also
took his Kindle Ebook out his bag after work to find the screen was
cracked and rendered the ebook useless. This was the kindle broke
this month, two months ago the laptop and two months before that the
MP3 player, he wasn't on a good run.
On the Monday 17th December
went into Tauranga to look for a new ebook, but none worth buying.
The bus was packed with cruise ship tourists (a cruise ship now due
in practically every day till a week after New Year). One loud
tourist fella on the bus was proclaiming how this bus was not as good
as the others as there was no commentary! He then started giving his
own unbearable one... “there's Bunnings look, Timbre yard there you
see it?... going over the bridge now, there's the harbour there, see
all the ships.... did you see the little plastic dish by the driver
to put your change in so you don't have to touch him?.... here's the
City now....” couldn't wait to get off the bus. Did our Pack N Save
Christmas shop, was very busy in there as well. Back home Small one
found a job advert on seek.com and applied for a 3 week contract
cleaning a factory, covering staff off at Christmas. There was no
responce.
Wednesday 12th December 2012
Small one booked a camper van for our
trip round the North Island in February, then back through town he
posted his Christmas Cards home, which cost $2.40 per card to send,
when the box of 10 cards only cost $2.50 anyway.....In the afternoon
Small one dug up Peter from Vinetech (where him and Tall one worked
back in 2009 in Kiwi Orchards), Peter answered the phone and small
one said, “Hi Peter I don't lnow if you remember me back from
2009....”, Peter cut him off and said, “how are you Conor rom the
Ducks Nuts?”. He remembered him, and then went on to explain that
for him he'd have work for him, and said Gary was still working (he
would have to shoot him to stop him working) an that if he could get
into Tauranga Gary would pick him up. He then said he'd have to check
with Gary and he would phone him back to confirm, but then he never
did, leaving small one unsure what to do.
Tall one back from his time off to find
the cafe very slow, though apparently he'd missed a bad busy morning,
the coffee maker had had over 100 dockets in the space of 3 hours.
The rosta was up for him next week and he only had three shifts,
working 11-5 Fri, Sat and Sun in cafe. Was a bit of a worry, but
Martin said that was wrong as it was the last week before Xmas next
week and the last lot of Sherlock Holmes shows, so he'd be needed for
Fri and Sat nights, and maybe Thurs as well. Was an easy enough day
after that, though this new girl has started (or girl who had
previously worked there a long time ago and was back for a few
weeks), who had this very annoying, condescending habit of calling
everyone either 'Hun or 'Babe..... Tall one grit his teeth and made
it through the day despite this. Back to the Caravan to find small
one had put up some Christmas decorations and cooked some pizza which
Tall one burnt his mouth on.
Walked round the base of the Mount
discussing our plans. If we should take our 3 weeks North Island trip
in Jan or Feb, as may not be worth hanging around for Jan if only
getting a few hours anyway. Then Vintech got back to small one and
said he could start Monday, but apparently there has been some kind
of infection spreading through kiwi orchards which has caused
problems, so not sure how much work. Then also had an email from the
Head of Franchising for Coffee Club Bay of Plenty, who said they took
small one's email very seriously, would be investigating and wanted
to know all about Janet's comments she made in her meeting to other
staff. Sounds like its stirring things up there, s the Ass. Manager
already phoned Sam to discuss it who had left from the same issues.
Small one may get his 19 hours owed and holiday pay yet....
Tuesday 11th December 2012
Another day off. After a morning in the
net cafe sat on the beach properly for the first time since arriving
at the Mount. Tall one and Small one both went into the ocean, kind
of swimming. Waves were pretty big, taller than your head, even when
you were only knee deep in water. It was pretty cold still, but got
used to it after a while. Was entertaining to watch a middle aged
couple going in, the husband fearless and the wife all petrified and
nervous, flinching wildly when the waves came. After the beach went
for a walk round the base of the Mount but took the first half by
walking along the rocks around the base. Lots of nice little coves
and pools along the way, crystal clear water, and patches of sand
covered with tiny shells, couldn't even see the sand for all the
shells. That evening emailed the Coffee Club head office complaining
about Janet in the Mount's bad behaviour towards small one and asking
for the outstanding 19 hours and holiday pay owed. Heard from Joel
down in Blenheim who had moved to the other end of the county based
on the promise of one vineyard job alone, now in Blenheim he didn't
like the work and had heard of one job going down the other end of
the South Island in Mount Cook resort, which he will probably head
for. He's only been here two weeks and had already travelled the
length of the country.
Monday 10th December 2012
A much needed day off. Good sunny ay so
Tall one and Small one decided to walk down the very long beach all
the way to Papamoa. It took exactly three hours walk barefoot on the
hot sand or freezing cold ocean. Walked past a few characters on the
walk, including a man out surfing who had left his faithful dog on
the beach who sat there watching him, two useless Japansese fisherman
who were using hairnets and big things as bait and couldn't cast to
save their lives, two young lads doing double back flips and
sommersaults, a very overweight man standing on the top of a dune
stark bollock naked looking out over the ocean, a lot of dead or
dying bees lying int he sand, and also bumped into ex-Coffee Club
employee Sam and her girlfriend who half down the route were on the
beach making a snowman out of sand to send back photos as Christmas
cards. In Papamoa had some fried sicken and chips in the small
shopping mall, brought cheap xmas cards with NZ logos and children
praying next to rabbits. Ended by doing our Pak N Save shop, thrilled
by the sight of a new Pak N Save layout. Though small one got a bit
jaded when an 18 year old girl behind the counter asked to see his ID
when buying beers. She wouldn't accept his Canadian license, and he
said, “but i'm 31!”. Tall one had his passport in his bag so they
got the booze in the end and took the 45 minute bis ride back to the
Mount.
Sunday 9th December 2012
Small one thought he was just working
the one night for Classic Flyers with Tall one, and had been told he
was now not needed for Sunday. So he stayed up watching a Celtic game
till 4am, only to have a phone call at 8am asking him to come in and
work with Tall one anyway. Small one very grumpy about having to work
again. Got a Burger King breakfast, both desperate for a coffee as
both were working till 1.30am last night anyway – was served by the
same useless girl who had over charged Tall one last time for a
'regular' size. Their coffee machine was still broken, so no coffee,
just a milkshake with their meal deal – only she gave us a 'Medium'
size, not the free included size and charged us the upgrade fee
without even asking us. Busy enough day at the cafe, another kids
birthday party going on. Small one was shocked how compared to the
Coffee Club there were actually two chefs and one person pot washing,
instead of just him. Karen told him he may be needed a few shifts a
week and at least for these big Sherlock Functions again, which was
fine. Got home and did laundry, small one went out and brought
takeaway pizza, burgers and wedges from that nice takeaway place, but
as they did not accept credit cards he had to go next door and buy a
box of eggs from the newsagents/dairy just to get cash back to pay
for them.
Saturday 8th December 2012
Tall one up for 9am start after a few
hours sleep. A breakfast function of 40 nurses having cooked food and
glasses of Champagne at 9am.... Then a function of 30 old woman
called the “Shirley Group” who apparently were all called Shirley
all something like that?? None of them could remember what they'd
ordered so Tall one was constantly running back and fourth with food,
to have a lot of curly permed hair shake there head and so “no not
here”, only to come back 2 minutes later and say this is yours...
oh yes I ordered a citrus slice.... Small one turned up at 1pm, as
had promised to help out with the function for a 12 hour shift. They
always struggle to find extra waiting/bar staff for these big
functions.
Small one integrated okay, laying out
cutlrey, glasses and napkins for a 30 people function upstairs and
for the 230 big Sherlock Holmes night in the hanger. During this
there was a kids birthday party going on, which small one stood
licking his lips looking at the pizza they were eating. For a 6 year
olds birthday party you'd have thought the museum would have changed
the music from thir usual Vera Lynn and George Formby records....
A long day shift, followed by the big
Sherlock function. All the cast for the play turned up with very
bright red faces, they'd all somehow got sun burnt (except that is
for the Manager Tom, who had his usual spray tan). Martin introduced
himself to small one, and then interupted him to say, “I'll stop
there I won't bullshit you, I will occasionally break into an Irish
accent whilst talking to you....”, oh right. Someone putting on an
Irish accent never really endears them to n Irishman.... Then he met
the barman Pete, whose opening line was “are you gay?.... as Martin
is Gay and Michael....”. This being his supposedly funny routine
which he had gone through on Tall one's first night, just to make
Martin feel uncomfortable. It backfired this time as his daugther Dez
(whose been driving Tall one home mos days) pointed out that he
didn't actually know who this was, and that this is Michael's partner
you gobshite.
Had plenty of other staff on. On very
young girl with a huge pig tail who stopped waitressing to sit down
and help the Chef put brownies onto a plate, leaving Tall one and
Small one to clear probably over 200 plates themselves. There was a
little young tubby girl with a very strange walk, who had a habit of
eating people's leftovers after clearing the tables, and even nosily
sucking each finger clean as she walked into the kitchen. She
explained she could only carry one plate at a time (not one in each
hand, but one plate between two hands) and held up her hand and said,
“it's this one it really hurts.... oh oh wait, no, it's this one”,
then held up the other one. She also kept asking everybody if they
knew thi meat we were serving was “churkey?”. To which mot people
just assumed she couldn't speak properly, but in fact she had been
told that the meat was half chicken and half turkey, mashed together
into some kind of sausage?? Don't think she was fully correct there.
Didn't finish until 1.30am, and it was all ound enough. In fact Karen
even asked him to come in tomorrow as well at 9am as a girl had
phoned in sick, and her other backup was helping somebody move some
bee hives?? It was a random excuse and he said fine, only to have her
change her mind twice more and finally say, infact don't come
tomorrow, we'll be alright, Michael can come an hour earlier.....
Friday 7th December 2012
Tall one headed off for his 16 hour
shift. Small one managed to finally finish Brief History of Time,
start some new random thriller from the kitchen book shelf and finish
that too. There was a power cut which knocked out all of Tauranga,
Mount Maunganui and Papmoa, lasted about an hour and delayed the
function at work. A long night for Tall one till 1am, the actor
playing Sherlock stinks of B.O., the young lad playing Watson stayed
behind to try and join in and dance with the guests, only to look a
bit of a loser and give up and chat to a fat girl instead. The 80
guests were all with one big company and were given a $3500 bar
tab....
Thursday 6th December 2012
Very high winds, small one waited for
them to die down then went for a walk round the Mount, only to
recieve a text from Tall One saying there had been a cyclone warning,
and a few people had died in Auckland, so maybe pack the emergency
bag incase the Caravan gets flattened. Small one returned home,
packed a bag and then there was no more wind....
Wednesday 28th November –
Wednesday 5th December 2012
Finally.... a blog entry covering a
week to save me typing it everyday. Been an interesting week. Joel
moved to the Ducks Nuts Hostel, hated the Asian Manager/Owner and got
2 days work gardening in Hamilton – so then left on a bus to
Blenheim to work vineyards. His last night here was the Tuesday 4th
December, when we made him go out up town in the rain to pickup some
cheap beer and bring it back.
Lots of cruise ships in, some of them
with up to 3,000 people apparently. Small one was pleased as he knew
the Coffee Club would be over run – and even noticed they were open
as late as 6.30pm some nights. Small one still found no work, he
turned down a kitchen hand job in the Urban Cafe – as they had
stipulated he couldn't bugger off like all the other backpackers do
come January. This morning (Wednesday 5th December) was a
huge bank of fog (Newfoundland style), and early morning all we could
hear was the droning fog horn of another cruise ship entering the
harbour. The buses were all packed with golden oldies in their
tourist gear, no seats left so standing only as usual. Small one
caught the bus back from Bayfair after xmas shopping, listening to
swearing giggling school girls realizing they were on the wrong bus,
he then had a middle aged Thai man (from the cruise ship) ask “many
badges on bag but no Thailand?”, to which small one took it off and
showed him (the biggest badge on the bag) the River Kwai badge. Along
with them the streets were packed with young giggling school girls,
as the Caravan Park is filling up with school tours. The girls were
running around screaming and giggling all day giving small one a
headache, even running into the Gents toilets screaming that there
was naked old men in there, to get the response from them “act your
fucking age, get the fuck out of here!”. The school boys were a b
it better, they just lounged about throwing footballs dangerously
near caravans, they were all very poorly supervised and seemed to be
pissing off all the ground staff and other guests. Had some enormous
Caravans turn up as well, small one took photos of one arriving,
which was like a Road Train backing into this tiny space (it took up
two sites). Its walls then extended probably scaring the shit out of
the neighbouring little van... they only stayed one night after all
that effort to land.
Small one has been enjoying his time
off at the Caravan Park, doing the base walk of the Mount most days
and trying to drag Tall one round who arrives back from work
exhausted. He walked to and from Bayfair a couple of times, at one
point getting lost and asking directions from a man selling Christmas
Trees in his back garden (apparently buying them in Te Puke for $20
each and selling them here for $42?). Between the many school kids
filling the caravans around us, we briefly had an Aussie fella move
in who came and asked us for a light, and told small one that he
spoke quite civilly for an Irishman.... that was the last time we
spoke to him or gave him a light. The evenings have been pretty nice,
had a full moon most of the week, this huge yellow globe in a pink
sky over the ocean, and then as the pink faded into night it left the
moon reflecting on the waves below. Jupiter was also visible as a
large bright star next to the moon. Saturday 1st Dec was
the Christmas parade which small one avoided and the barriers stuffed
up the bus routes for tall one. Next day was a Triathalon, which
again we avoided and again stuffed up the bus routes. Small one
watched as they ran the route past the Caravan Park to the Mount,
being handed cups of water by old ladies and then throwing them into
the Caravan Park grounds as they ran on. Monday 3rd
December was Small one's birthday. Tall one brought him some Barry's
Teabags which he smuggled through customs all the way from Athlone.
Had a dodgy fry up for breakfast and brought a surprisingly great
pizza from a local takeaway. Liam and Claire popped round with a
small chocolate cake and candles for him. After Liam finished his
beer he was desperate for as slice of cake, not even waiting for a
fork. Then we showed them the jelly we'd made, using yoghurt and
banana thrown in as well, the look of it made them want to vomit, but
actually tasted quite nice.
Tall one still working like an old
dog. Had their first Christmas Party to serve, which was a lot of
middle aged woman dressed up in curly wigs and handcuffs, then men
were all dressed as characters from MASH, all a bit surreal. The
Sherlock Holmes late night performance dinners are ongoing until
Christmas, and are running smooth enough, though there seems to be
increasing frictions between Kitchen Manager Karen and Function
Manager Martin, Tall one stuck in the middle hearing one moaning
about the other. From all these long days with his hands under water
from washing dishes, Tall one's hands were essentially fucked. Each
finger had gone as had and dry as sandpaper, cracked and split with
little cuts and blisters. The two days off a week gives them time to
heal along with half a bottle of hand cream, but then they turn back
to the same sorry state after a day or so back at the sink. They'd
also stuffed up his pay twice now, last week was 4 hours short, this
week was 12 hours short (the accountant must have mis-read 1.30am
finish time as 1.30pm....bitch). Still he spent his day off yesterday
getting a slightly dodgy haircut from the Barbers downtown, the
fringe is somewhat shapeless, and is worrying small one.
Tuesday 27th November 2012
Bus to Tauranga with Joel and visited
the Ducks Nuts to induct him into work and new accommodation.
Wondered down the Strand and then went to the cinema to see the new
James Bond, Sky Fall. We were worried on the way in as there was a
queue of twenty school kids on a trip, but i don't think James Bond
was educational material. Walked down Cameron Road and had a cheap
Pizza, then outside Warehouse small one lost $2 in a Coka Cola
machine, the Warehouse staff said it was nothing to do with them and
pointed to the number to call. Small one phoned the number and was
told they would send him a $2 voucher for a coke in the post!! Then a
Pack N Save Food Shop, backt o the Mount and then up the Mount to do
the Summit Walk with Joel. The Mount was very very busy, filled with
sweaty, panting runners.
Monday 26th November 2012
Monday in a nutshell: Tall one day off
with small one, photocopying forms for Melbourne Sponsorship, filling
them in in Burger King whilst eating a 'snack' burger the size of a
golf ball surrounded by shouting teenagers. ANZ Bank Manager signed
our forms and we posted them, then back to the caravan park where we
had a beer, fed peanuts to sparrows and to a sun burnt Joel who now
had his NZ sim card. Finally washed Tall one's work clothes after 3
weeks, then received his payslip to see he'd been underpaid by 3
hours. Small one found out from one of the girls that yesterday in
the Coffee Club was so busy with the cruise ship that the place was a
mess, Janet was crying and the nice girl Chrissy almost walked out
herself. We at least sold the tent and mattress to a Canadian couple
from the Mount Hostel, for $100, just the cord to sell now. Small one
had a sleep, then we walked round the base of the Mount t dusk.
Sunday 25th November 2012
Met Joel in the morning and the three
of us walked down to the small Farmers Market. Tall one carried on
and caught a very busy bus (full of tourists from the big cruise
ship) down to work – the big mauri bus driver stopped to tell a
story about the name of the Mount in Mauri folktale – it was quite
ncie as it was only a public bus, but you wouldn't want to be in a
hurry. Small one and Joel tried asking the farmers market for work,
small one speaking to a strawberry seller in an Irish Jersey who said
he only employed his own children (perhaps he could adopt?). Then
Joel tried a flat white. Small one went back to the Caravan and fell
asleep between 2-5pm awaking in a ball of sweat in the hot summer
heat that had arrived yesterday. He phoned home for 20 minutes and
had a whole list of family health problems to run through when Tall
one got home. Small one then read a little more of Stephen Hawking's
Brief History of Time, which despite being 'brief', had taken him
almost a year to read.
A pretty quiet day for tall one in the
cafe. There was a busy period when 8 big, burly bikers came in, and
sat down and ordered strawberry smoothies. A girl was in for a
'trial', though it was a 6 hour one? Owner Andrew was in his pilots
gear and did a few trips out in one of the old propeller planes with
some tourists. Was nice to watch on lunch break as he took off, but
strange to think the plane is usually in the hanger museum collecting
dust with the mannequins. Caught the bus home and a few stops before
home the driver pulled over by Tauranga harbour and asked Tall one
and the 1 other passenger if we'd mind stopping a while. Tall one was
puzzled and he asked again if we'd mind waiting. Then he admitted he
needed the toilet.... he must have been desperate as there's a toilet
right next to our final Hot Springs Stop about 1 minute further to
drive.
Saturday 24th November 2012
Small one was going to text Coffee Club
and say sick again, but in the end jut text to say he wouldn't be
coming back in, then ignored any calls. Tall one got up early, they
said there farewells to Tall one's friend Chris and his girlfriend
Nat who'd be travelling down to Wellington. Tall one was soon at work
again, and Joel came round to visit small one. He asked Joel if he
had applied for his tax number, opened a bank account.... answers all
no again. Joel said he'd see him later, Small one said “no, we're
sorting this out today”, then spent the next few hours as his P.A.
Or father, walking him into post offices for tax applications, the
hostel for print off of visas and proof of accommodation (to which
the fella at reception didn't charge him for printing and said “Joel
need all the help he can get”) then down to the bank at Bayfair to
open an account – small one doing all the talking at each place.
Small one then left Joel and stopped off to see Liam, then went back
to sleep in the Caravan.
Tall one worked 9am till 1.30am, his
legs were like jelly by the end of it. Was the best weather so far in
the Mount and the cafe got hammered, coffee orders backed up and most
people complaining, the Owner/Manager, Andrew was even having to wash
dishes. Then at 4pm helped finish setting up for the big 230 people
Sherlock Holmes function. Had a lot more staff one for it and went a
lot better, Tall one happily doing all the washing up single handed,
though it was endless towers of plates and baking trays. Most of the
waitresses were very friendly, they just weren't doing much
waitressing. It's always a big rush when they open the food buffet,
as as soon as everyone had food the show starts again (and no waiters
are aloud out), so we have to clear as much as we can of the people
who have finished, so we get a head start on washing. Tall one rushed
out to start, and found he was the only person out of 6-7 floor staff
actually clearing any plates. He's feeling more confident enough
there now just to say to Martin, “where are the other girls, i'm
the only person clearing”. Turned out one of the other Girls, Erin,
had previously worked at the Coffee Club and “fucking hates that
bitch Janet”, who apparently would not give her time off to see her
grandfather when he was in hospital before he died, ending with her
slapping Janet in the face in front of her friends. Small one was
pleased to hear this though. Small one was also pleased to hear that
the two English boys on trial for kitchen work with Janet had walked
out saying they'd never seen a place so disorganized. Gone Midnight
and the two lovely old volunteers were still working, Joyce and
Stewart. He was short, in his eighties, dressed in a little black
tuxedo and was on “security”, he came and introduced himself to
Tall one and pointed to the little lady who had been hard at work
ironing, washing and even dragging huge bins of empty beer bottles
out to recycling, and said, “that's my woman there...” - they
didn't leave till after 1am. Tall one got home 1.30am, his knees
weak, muscles aching, fingers dry and cracked a sandpaper from being
under dishwater for almost 16 hours.
Friday 23rd November 2012
Tall one on stupid hours again, start
at 9am and finish at 1am, though he did not find that out until at
10pm and his usual ride went home. Was a very long 16 hour day, very
hungry with only 1 lunch break Tall one spent a lot of time
scrounging leftover (few hours old) finger food from the buffet
tables – he felt like a tramp. He also noticed that the Manager's
couldn't spell the word 'individual' on the function sheets, spelling
it “indervidual'. Was a bit of a mess at the evening Sherlock
Holmes function, ples of washing up and the girls had started to do
it, whilst Tall one watched them painfuly washing itmes slow slowly
and loading the dishes in the machine delicately one t a time. Tall
one thought that he'd never get home and so took over – just as he
had his arms deep in water and started the frantic scurbbing and
loading to get through it all, Manager Martin came in and asked him
to come and clear bottles, Tall one said “ask one of the girls”
(as there was 2 stood about in the kitchen), “oh.... okay”. It
was the first function down in the big hanger, this one with 120
people. Got home to find a cup of tea ready at 1am.
Small one text Janet to say he was
sick and not in today. Spent the morning peeling off his face which
was peeling from the sunburn yesterday. Went for a walk and god
attacked by a seagull on the Harbour beach, people stopped to stare
and laugh at him as he was running with his arms over his head – at
one point he took off his big aviator sunglasses and the seagull left
him alone?? Tall one's friend Chris knocked earlier, and small one
chatted with them. They asked to borrow the saucepan and frying pan
again (as the park has nothing for guests), small one said fine, then
they asked to use our hob and kitchen. Small one asked what they were
cooking and they said “Prawns” (small one being allergic to
seafood). The place was soon heaving with the smell of fish oils, and
took small one the afternoon to air it out. They made up for it
giving him a pot of Honey Chris had been given in Auckland when he
delivered furniture for some lady. Small one left to meet Joel, went
for a walk. Asked if he'd applied for his tax number, bank account,
extended in the hostel, applied for work.... Joel said no to all of
these. Back to the Caravan and saw Tall one's friends again, (small
one seeing them more than Tall one). Tall one text to say not back
till after 1am, so all went to bed.
Thursday 22nd November 2012
Small one had a long long day. Janet
was very snappy and rude in the kitchen to him, sending things back
saying “no good” when she'd already said it was fine. Small one
thinks this was mostly due to the fact she had a 46 year old man
(chef?) in for training and so thought she had a replacement. The
chef turned out painfully slow (“have you got those chips?”...”oh
you wanted chips?”...”yes when ia sked you to put them on when i
started the steak, now the steak's ready”...”oh”). Turned out
he wasn't interested in the job (small one had told him some home
truths about the place), and once he was out the picture Janet was in
calling small one buddy, and how are things buddy, and can you do
this please buddy.... Yesterday small one had not received his
payslip like he usually does, and no wages were showing after
midnight as usual, so he had emailed her at 4am to ask why, and then
the wages seemed to come through at 7am, he asked the girls at work
and they all got their payslip the night before as usual. Small one
finished work, just about. He was very close to walking out after all
Janet's bitchy comments, and two faced actions. Back at the Caravan
Joel finally turned up, small one helped him check in and then took
him for a walk round the base of the Mount. Whilst Small one was sat
in the caravan he could hear this Asian voice calling somewhere
outside, “Conor?..... Comor?”. Janrt had tracked him down,
calling to all the vans to find him and had had to ask the park
Manager where he was. She'd come all the way back to the Mount to
tell Small one it was a very busy day tomorrow with a cruise ship in,
and she had two rough English boys who were looking for chef work
training with him, though she was having on wash dishes? She said in
advance that he was not to be showing them how to make anything and
she would be very critical of his food and very snappy in front of
them so they know how its done. Claiming she had a dentist
appointment she said to see him later tomorrow. Later Chris and
Natalie stopped by as well, and small one was still talking to them
when Tall one got home after his 13 hour shift.
Tall one started at 8am and worked
till 9.30pm. On functions all day, one of them was for ANZ bank.
Changing coffee over every hour for each one, and handing out cakes
and gluten free biscuits. Was called in to the office by Andrew, the
man in charge, who said he'd noticed Tall one was a very good worker
and wanted to make sure he was happy here and to know he supported
his good workers, asking what his long term plans were. Then the
evening function was a dreary 80 person building firm do in the main
Museum Hanger. Martin had stopped doing his strange Lee Evans and
Basil Fawlty impressions to introduce Tall one to the snotty, short
woman in a hideous big flowering dress, who was in charge of the
company. He said he wasn't going to be here, but to ask “Michael
for anything, he'll be working out int he front, behind the bar and
can sort any problems”, her response was to look Tall one up and
down and say, “where will he be? In the kitchen?” (as if he was a
pot washer). Anyway, a thrilling function trying to keep the bar tab
under $800, and a large group of disappointed builders when the tab
very quickly finished and they were served some inadequate finger
food. Tall one was working with Karen and one of the girls, who
never left the kitchen. He had to clear all tables of bottles,
glasses, plates, rubbish, and run the bar and re-stock it whilst they
stood in the kitchen.
Wednesday 21st November 2012
Small one had a day off work sitting
out in the sun turning red and getting sun stroke. Joel was supposed
to turn up today from Canada, but didn't show, got his dates mixed up
with the flight/time zone differences. Tall one's friend Chris, from
Maidstone was due to pass through the Mount with his girlfriend
today. When Tall one got back from work he saw Chris walking up the
beach and then go into the caravan next door to theirs, turned out
they'd checked into the same caravan park and the van next door.
Tuesday 20th November 2012
Tall and small one had a day off
together. A sunny morning and then a walk up town in the afternoon.
Printing off more forms for Melbourne visa, and walking back up
Maunganui road just as a big truck came round a corner and drove into
an overhanging lampost. The sound of smashing glass and grinding
metal filled the street and people came out the shop to see this poor
young lad in sunglasses looking a bit confused behind the wheel. The
lamp post was wrecked and so was the top of the truck.
Then went to the Hot Springs by the
Caravan Park (between 1-2pm it's only $2 entry in November). Only
stayed 20 minutes or so, then dried ourselves in the changing rooms
next to naked old men showing off their fluffy/hairy shoulders and
buttocks. Had a beer, chips and nachos in the cafe 2 doors down from
the Coffee Club where a depressed Janet sat outside on the phone.
Around 4pm took the bus to Pack N Save and did the weeks food shop,
seem to be doing the shop a day earlier each week (first week we
arrived on a sunday, the following week the saturday etc etc) only
seem to be getting 6 days out of each food shop, but have a huge
stock of packet pastas and rices. Cooked sausages or dinner and sat
and watched the evening trainee surfers go out in their black
wetsuits, kneeling on their boards and paddling out with their fore
arms looking like a herd of Gorillas.
Monday 19th November 2012
Tall one had a much needed day off,
after his 47 hour week, though they deducted a 3 minute lunch break
he never had... Spent his day in the windy sun, reading and sorting
out visa forms for Melbourne. Small one handed in his notice with
Janet, 4 weeks from today with possibility of staying on another week
(till xmas eve). Janet acted in a variety of ways, pissed off and
saying he would only get part time hours then, but then was thankful
that he had given 4 weeks notice and not just walked out when he
wanted and said 5 weeks would be great. So he continued to work that
day in the kitchen and was listening to two of the Coffee making
girls (one the supervisor) out the front discussing ideas for the
Xmas dinner menu (for Boxing Day). They discussed it for a couple of
hours, excited about all these ideas of trout and other fancy shite
they would never get, never once thinking that perhaps this is the
job of the Head Chef (small one) to at least have input with. Taran
than waltz into the kitchen and gave small one the menu they'd
written and said, “this is what you'll be cooking for Boxing Day”,
small one said, “that's fine but I won't be cooking anything...
i've handed in my notice”. She didn't look happy and walked out.
Sunday 18th November 2012
Another blustery day, the caravan
shakes quite violently in the wind which is a little worrying sat
inside it. Small one went to work and managed to rescue the sparrow
from the kitchen, despite Janet climbing on the food counter,
treading on the slices of bread in her socks, saying “fuck where
has it gone?”. Finally it was trapped under a tea towel, and Janet
wanted to cellopte it's wings and attach some blue paper to it so we
could tell if it returned, but small one refused, the thing was a
wreck as it was – so he ran out and realized it by our caravan
(hopefully it'll eat some of the ants). Small one decided today to
hand in his 4 weeks notice sometime next week, so he would be due to
leave Christmas Eve, just before they would start the double
shifts....
Tall one was in Cafe potwash today,
11-5pm. Karen wasn't working and the young girl in charge made sure
he had all is free breaks (as Karen only gives him the one 30 minute
unpaid break), she also gave him some big, chunky sandwiches out the
cooler as she said they'd be thrown out tonight anyway, so Tall one
actually ate food during the day for a change, he'd forgotten what
lunch tasted like. Also had some of the many volunteers for the
museum/cafe in today. It's nice that they arrange this for them,
most being between 70, and some over 80. There not a whole lot of
use, some are one step away from being virtual zombies. There's an 85
year old man who takes over potwash for 2 hours on Friday Afternoons,
usually ends up confusing everyone by putting dirty stuff either side
of the dishwasher, instead of dirty one end, and having clean stuff
come out the other, and if you try and help he moans at you. The very
neat, prim and proper lady volunteer was back today, and whilst tall
one was elbow deep in greasy, brown washing up water trying to scrape
burnt ham off a tray, she was getting under his feet hesitantly
carrying one saucer at a time and using a serviette to scrape the
cake crumbs off it. The volunteers usually get a meal at the end of
the day though, so it's quite nice they make the 80 year old's work
for their food....?
Saturday 17th November 2012
Small one had another 'interesting' day
at work.... he feels he's near the end now, planning on working his
tuesday and wednesday off (pay goes through wednesday nights) and not
going back thursday next week. Another mad busy day, some 70-80 odd
meals which he did alone whilst Janet sat outside chatting with
customers. One of the girls chatted to Tall One and turned out she's
a lesbian, she told him how she was leaving asap and how Janet is
rude about everything behind their backs. Small one asked Janet what
the hours at Christmas would be like, to which she said 7.30am till
2pm then back at 5pm till 11pm!! A sparrow then got trapped in the
kitchen and Janet and Small one tried in vain to get it out, then
Janet said she would try and spray it. Small one thought she meant
with water, but she grabbed the cleaning fluid, which sprayed bright
blue juie all over this already confused bird. It didn't help,
surprisingly. Small one got home to find our packet of biscuits over
run with ants. He also had the sad news that one of his old ladies
from the Toronto Eaton ob, “Mama Rosa”, had passed away in her
sleep.
Tall one was due to start work at 1pm,
spent the morning rushing down to Bayfair, brought an electric hob in
Harvey Norman's supposedly big sale, got a spare key cut for the van,
large water bottle and other stuff. Rushed back on the bus as work
had phoned up to say someone's rang in sick (there really must be an
epidemic there). Made it back just in time to get changed and get the
bus. Tall one was back in cafe potwash until about 4pm, then helped
out with setting up the big function upstairs (another Sherlock
Holmes carry on...). He was put to work under the 'supervision' of
Barman Pete, who wasn't the best function organizer. Pete was
standing amongst all the tables scratching his head saying “we need
to get 14 chairs round this table but how? We need 92 people in here
in total...” This went on a while, until Tall one tried to tell him
that there's already over a 100 seats laid out in here, and took
another 5 minutes convincing him they had too many, not too few. Tall
one brought cutlery up and laid out the places, when the first box of
cutlery ran out he went to get another one from storage room, to
which Pete stopped him and said, “Mike we need more cutlery”,
“yep that's where I'm going now”, “hang on” he said, “you'll
need to know how many”. He then stood and counted how many places
were missing forks, and told Tall one “29 forks”, Tall one said,
“yep that's fine there's loads there i'll just bring the box up”,
“hang on and the knifes...” he started counting knifes whilst
Tall one patiently waited, “and 25 knives”....Tall one then went
downstairs into the cupboard and just grabbed the big container of
knives and forks and brought it back upstairs, he wasn't going to
waste time standing there counting them out.
Tall one had a half an hour break,
which he sat outside starving watching a sparrow flapping and hopping
up and down int he rain trying desperation to catch a small
butterfly. Back to work and Sales Manager Martin showed up to check
on things. He said that the Sherlock people (the orange man) had
complained we were too late with the entrees yesterday. I pointed to
the itinerary and said we brought them out right on 7.15 as
requested. He said, “No, the show was running fifteen minutes late
so you should have waited and we got criticized for that”, Tall
one said, “well they need to tell us then, we can't be criticized
for putting things out on time”. The same thing happened tonight,
the smug, arrogant 'Actor' running the panto just won't communicate
with 'normal' people. Also a mix up with a Gluten Free guest, as all
the starters were Chinese finger food on the table, but we had one
special cheesey pie thing for a Vegetarian. Only they weren't where
they said they would be, but one guest did say they were gluten free.
So Tall one asked Pete if she could eat the Chinese food and if it
was Gluten Free, to which he pointed to the special cheesy pie and
said that was for the gluten free. Tall one gave it to her and later
asked Karen down in the kitchen (as she had said it was for a
vegetarian), to which she said there was a mix up and it should have
been a Gluten free starter not vegetarian and that that starter was
full of 'Gluten', but not to worry, the guest should be able to tell
that anyway, she won't die or anything..... Rest of night went okay,
no guest died of Gluten poisoning. Was out only 20 minutes later than
last night and there were 30 more guests to serve. Home by 10.30pm.
Friday 16th November 2012
Small one had a painful day at work.
Arrived after his day off to find that the staff had done nothing in
regards to kitchen prep yesterday. The day was very bus, he made over
40 breakfasts before 10am, and then another cruise ship was in, on
top of trying to catch u with prep. He complained to Janet hat she
still had not even advertised for another chef as promised for the
busy period coming up. Janet said, “worst case scenario you in
kitchen with Taran”, Small one said, “Worse possible scenario is
me in the kitchen with Taran.... she refuses to butter bread, she
doesn't want to chop calamari and she doesn't want to cook.... so
what can she do”, Janet agreed that Taren wasn't very nice as
customers complain about her only. She added, “Me and Taran in
Kitchen with you”, Small one replied, “that's the second worse
scenario.... just put a sign in the window advertising for a
chef....!”. He's close to walking out, she's a strange person to
work for. Had a new fruit and veg salesman turn up showing her a
glossy catalogue of their cheap fruit and veg, Janet was in awe, “oh
my God Conor, look it all looks so good.... and so cheap!”. Small
one said, “it's a catalogue, of course it looks good”. She
ordered everything from this new fella on the strength of the
catalogue. It all turned up and was absolute crap, tomatoes burst
into a sodden pulp when small one tried to cut them. So, had to phone
the regular guy and get a delivery asap....
Meanwhile Tall one turned up to work
10am-3pm in cafe pot wash, but was asked to stay on and work the
Sherlock Holmes Performance Dinner tonight (for 60 people), which
would go on till 9-10pm, and Karen would drop him home. It was a long
day, and he had no food. Luckily, Bunnings next door had a $2 sausage
BBQ for Charity outside, so that was his lunch for the 12 hours.
During the course of the day he smashed a dinner plate out the
dishwasher, dropped a pint glass in the bar and cracked 3 china pots
for mints on the floor (the day before smashed a champagne glass and
a water vase) so racking up some decent casualties at least. A new
Barman called Pete showed up to helps setup, all the other staff
(some 10-15 years older than Tall One) kept going on about what a
legend he was, we'll have lots of fun with Pete. During the briefing
the 3 of them carried on like crude kids in a school playground,
taking the pis out of each other being 'frisky', and one of them
pretending to water ski on a microphone stand.... Tall one stood next
to them, patiently looking at his watch waiting for it to be over.
The actual show that ran between courses was about as entertaining as
a painful school play, except with adults and their dressing up box.
It was run by this extremely pretentious, arrogant man, wearing his
inflated fancy suit, an orange fake tan, a smeg and a constant
intense look on his face. He thought he was Robert De Niro or
something, the bar man asked him, “Tom when do you want the
Desserts served?”, to which he pulled him aside and told him not to
call him by his real name, he was in character.... He even scowled at
Tall one when he had to push the trolley of desserts across the
corridor between the dressing room and the dinning hall, as he
bellowed, “hurry up we are about to begin!”.... You'd have
thought he was performing Shakespeare in the West End, but then
they'd begin and it would be akin to a Christmas Panto, with looks of
loud silly voices and shrieking in funny clothes.... Anyway, got home
about 10pm for small one to cook dinner.
Both very happy in the Caravan. Had
taken for granted those simple things you miss in a tent, and so now
really enjoying just begin able to sit a couple of feet from our
kettle, knowing I can make a cup whenever we want, without having to
traipse down to the kitchen. The place did fill up with ants in the
morning however, so will see how that goes (the Sugar Puffs were for
the bin). Also, have regrets that this wasn't a deal going when we
arrived, it would have saved us $200 on the tent, $100 on the power
cord, $25 on the tarp, $40 on the mattress and probably another $100
on other bits and pieces that we now all have on Gumtree advertised
to sell at half the price after a few weeks use. Not to worry though
its the price you pay to be happy and comfortable.
Thursday 15th November 2012
Small one had another day off and it
rained all day. He spent his time as a home maker out shopping for
the new Caravan. He started his day with a walk around the Mount,
starting at the Caravan he noticed a Ferry out on the horizon on it's
way in. Half an hour later the otherside of the Mount some local
lunatic was pointing and shouting out to see saying “I can see it,
I can see it.... it only looks small as its far away, wait till it
gets clsoer!”. He was looking at the Cruise Ship. Small one even
saw him later on and he was still at it, pointing it out to people
walking by, who were desperately trying to ignore him. Small one
headed into town as the Ferry docked and all the old Holiday makers
made there way into town with their big name badges round their
necks. That ferry haunted small one the whole day. Every single bus
he got on was stuffed with tourists, all delaying the buses asking
the driver where that is, and what is that over there, and which bus
to here, and how can I get a bus to see the whole City. One asked
small one which bus to get somewhere, to which he got the timetable
out, and they responded by saying, “oh we don't care which bus we
get on to, don't tell us numbers, we'll just go anywhere”. There
was also this “Ambassador” woman in a high viz top on the bus
supposedly answering their questions to save them all bothering the
drivers and other passeners... it didn't help.
Small one went to the dollar store in
town, then the Variety Store, then the charity shops. The oven/grill
he wanted in Salvos was gone but there was another with no price. The
little old lady said she could not price it for him, as there was a
“white man” who comes in and tests them and prices them, and the
“white man” (she was also white) was back at 1pm and to come
back. Small one took the bus down to Kmart and brought a kettle, then
tried to do a food shop in Countdown, but realized he had no 'One
Card” for the discounts. He signed up for one, with an erratic old
man who kept insisting that small one better not forget to bring his
pen back. During the shop small one realized that this was twice as
expensive as Pack N Save and not worth the money, so just left his
trolley in an aisle full of shopping and walked out.
He hopped on another bus in the
pouring rain, which took him out to Pack N Save in Tauranga. There he
spent some $96 on food and managed to carry it all back on his own.
The bag split of the bus and his food rolled everywhere, whilst at
the same time he kept an eye out for the Frog salesman who was just
round the corner. The bus was still full of tourists, and as it
pulled into the stop on Salisbury Ave, he heard an elderly Italian
couple arguing about the stop. “This is the stop Roberto... Roberto
come on!”, “No it is not the stop, it is the next one”. It went
on a while until she turned to small one and asked, who said it was
this stop for the Ferry. The man stormed off past the woman, throwing
his chin and hand up in the air in his stereotypical Italian snub,
and walked off int he opposite direction to the boat. Small one got
back and dumped the shopping, in time to hear a man on a phone on a
site below us, on the phone talking about how glad he'd just thrown
everything into the car and got out of it all, and was now in the
rain in his one man tent.... Small one headed back into town, brought
12 bottles of VB beer from the liquor store, though took him a while
as he could not find the enormous walk in fridge with all the beer
and had to ask (turned out he had seen the walk in fridge, but
thought it was just a normal fridge where the beer was a long way
back on the shelf??). Then he brought the little oven/grill from the
“White Man” in the charity shop – who had by then priced the
grill, but had put it back in the TV section instead of the
Kitchenware. By now his day off was almost over and he walked back to
the Caravan Park carrying boxes of beer and a mini oven, passing the
arguing elderly Italian couple on the other side of the road, and the
man started aggressively pointing at him.
Meanwhile Tall one enjoyed another
long dreary day working Functions. Two small ones (one of which
seemed to be three seventeen year old who sat int he big room not
drinking coffee for 5 hours and then left), the third function being
30 people for some fundraiser dinner, run by the 2 owner/managers of
the cafe, Andrew and David. Tall one was put behind the bar for the
big function, never having pulled a pint in his life, other than once
on a Steinlager beer brewery tour in Auckland 4 years ago...
Thankfully only about 4 people out the 30 odd ordered anything, and
then tall one had to stand about a lot waiting for them to finish
their bizarre meal, which was a muffin, a squirt of ketchup and once
slice of bread with a slice of ham, cheese and lettuce (no top slice
to the sandwhich?). Tall one did have to pour a few half glasses of
beer and thankfully they were alright. When everyone was gone he had
to lunk tables and chairs up and down stairs preparing for a big
(weekly) “Sherlock Holmes” play acting dinner Friday Night. At
one point he was asked to go down stairs, through the cafe, through
the shop and across the hanger and get the “Light Weight” table
and bring it back. He did this, as there was a stack of tables, 3
huge, heavy wooden ones and one light plastic one. All the way back
up stairs to be told that that was not the one, it was the wooden
one..... Occasionally he had to use the lift, which was this bizarre
wall-less lift, so just the floor went up and down, and you could
watch as the door got nearer to you as you went up and down. The most
painful thing of the day was when Sales Manager started painfully
quoted and reenacting a scene from Fawlty Towers, whilst the other
staff looked on politley. All went okay though, and seems to be
getting longer hours than originally told (every other person seems
to be calling in sick).
Tall caught the bus back in the rain,
his bus journeys hadn't been as lively since that fella showed him
his knife last week. Though the other day Tall one got the bus oneday
to work, the bus stopped to pick up a strange young, big fella,
dressed in black. He got on the bus and asked, "does the bus
stop at vur road"... "what road?" asked the bus
driver, "vur road"... the bus driver thought a while and
said hopefully, "tweed road??", the fella said, "that's
it". The driver said that yes, indeed they do stop there. The
fella said, "great i'll just get my shoes..., and sure enough he
was stood on the bus barefoot, and got off to collect his pair of big
work boots he'd left on the bench. He sat down in front of tall one
and he looked liked he'd tried to cut his own hair, using a bowl to
cut around. Further down the road a woman sat infront of this
barefooted man, turned and said to him, "didn't you want tweed
road, we've gone past it"... "no, I'm not getting off
there" he said, sitting there clutching his boots in his hands
like a lunatic.
Back to the Caravan Park and Small one
had the Caravan all ready, and told him of his long long exploits
from the day in every detail, and that he wanted everything in the
blog.... so that's that done. Had some crispy chicken in the White
Man's grill, and sat dry and warm watching the shitty weather outside
pounding on people's tents.
Wednesday 14th November 2012
A surreal, action packed day. Tall
one's second day working on the functions for Classic Flyers. 8Am
start, and setting up 3 corporate function rooms upstairs, and one
downstairs in the big Museum Hanger room – where people sat at
tables surrounded by dusty air-planes, mannequins dressed in Pilots
gear and sparrows shitting on them from the rafters above. Tall one
was to work with Gary on the big Hanger Function, this was a party
for a group of 60 people aged 60 and up. One poor fella was 91 years
old and fell asleep during the 'sing-a-long'. All the staff working
couldn't help making constant jokes about how, “it's like working
in an old peoples home there so old”, or “there old enough to be
one of our volunteers, we'd get a few months work out of em at
least”. The coffee sachets were per-opened as apparently, “they're
oldies, they can't do anything themselves”. Tall one worked behind
the bar, and the biggest rush they had was four people wanting cups
of tea. A queue formed during that time as they were so old it took
them 10 minutes to take the teabag out the wrapper. Bar prices were a
bit steep, $3.50 for hot water and coffee granules, and all self
service. A lot of them tried to shuffle past and help themselves
without paying, but Tall one fended them off. The group also had a
live band, this man in his 40s called “Gerry Lee”. He wore an
bright electric blue suede jacket, black shirt and a piano key
pattern tie. With the help of his synthesized keyboard he butchered
many a Ray Charles and Cliff Richard Song. He was a good singer and
player, but insisted on crow-barring into every song (from Hank
Williams to The Carpenters) this over the top keyboard playing,
slamming his hand along all the keys and hitting notes with his shoe
or elbow.... whilst these old ladies just look a him with a confused
frown on their faces. He was just a little too into it, and you could
imagine him dressed up practising at home in his bedroom, which also
happens to be in his Mother's home.
After the big function, had to pack up
the three corporate ones. One was a fair size seminar, in which two
slightly German salesman were trying to sell to an audience (who kept
complaining about the volume of the old peoples music downstairs).
When Tall one was packing upt he chairs, the two salesman were left
packing up their papers chatting about how they thought it went,
something along the lines of, “I think you smashed it tonight, “yes
one of your best performances”, “do you think they will buy?”,
“well, I can only say what my gut thinks, my Gut is telling me
...blur blur blur”. More ridiculously self inflated people, Tall
one will enjoy these functions – reminds him of his student days
working as a temp for Blue Arrow in Maidstone.
Meanwhile outside in the real world,
small one was back to work for a full day (though he's off again
tomorrow!). It was one hell of a blustery day for small one, the
Coffee Club outside tables and chairs were all blowing into the road,
all the other cafes were nailing down everything they could,
pedestrian walked past clutching her bleeding head as she'd obviously
be hit with something blowing in the gale, and over in the camp site
our tarp over the tent had come undone and was blowing out like a
sail. Tall one heard none of this from inside the hanger with Gerry
Lee playing so loud.
When small one finished he got back to
the Caravan Park and Sue at Reception had been brilliant and sorted
out an on-site Caravan for them to move into that evening. She also
got a discount, so it was the same price as the tent site per night,
and was also $10 cheaper per night during the 6 week summer peak
season (when they jack the prices up by half again). Sue had said
that the Caravan hadn't been cleaned yet, to which small one said,
“i'll clean it, the man was only in it for one night”, Sue looked
confused how he knew this, so he had to admit that he'd been keeping
an eye on the comings and goings on that caravan since Sue had
mentioned it the other night. We dismantled the tent int he gale
winds, and noticed that the caravan by out site (which had been empty
the last 3 week), finalyl had it's owners come back – just as we
were leaving. Spoke to them briefly, they said they'd had that spot
for almost 35 years..... Finally packed everything away into the
Caravan, stufing things into a million random, nooks and crannys and
hidden draws in the place. Lined up all our tins of food and packets
across the shelf over the sink, which looked like a small
supermarket. Then finally sat down on our sofas, by our kitchen
counters, cupboards, bed, proper curtains and windows, and thought
what a pain in the arse camping long term was....
Tuesday 13th November 2012
Small one had a day off. Most of it was
spent in bed, as neither of us slept much due to the hammering of
constant rain on our poor tent - for the whole night. Small one
didn't know what to do with himself on his rainy day off, and spent
it (other than sleeping), complaining about his sore blister on his
thumb/palm, and then got so desperate that he even started to read a
book from the Caravan Park book exchange. After Tall one went to work
he wondered down looking for some cars for sale, and as per yesterday
he got so obsessed with spotting cars for sale that ANY car he saw
parked up, he rushed over thinking "how much is that?" (and
yesterday Tall one had to point out many times that it was just
customer parking). At one point a woman had to tell him that these
are all rental cars and none are for sale....
Tall one had his first shift in charge
of Functions, instead of just pot wash. It went sound enough, mostly
clearing three function rooms of cups, platters and glasses, washing
them and resetting for tomorrows functions. It was raining when he
finished nd one of the Managers gave him a lift home, and on that ten
minute drive Tall one found out that his wife had run off with a Gym
instructor, she'd taken half the house they'd just paid off the
mortgage for, and so he'd move into Mount Maunganui Caravan Park to
meet more people and managed to hook up for an Irish girl for a few
weeks. Tall one was glad when the lift was over. In the Caravan Park
small one had lovingly baked a pie and veg, and Sue in reception had
said she thinks she's sorted out a Caravan for us and to come back
tomorrow to confirm. Small one getting very excited over the prospect
of a caravan.
Monday 12th November 2012
Monday 12th - Small one worked the
morning only and had the afternoon off with Tall one. They took the
bus down to Hewlett's Ave and (with one eye out for angry Indian
Mechanics) checked out all the 2nd hand car lots. They knew the
standard they were looking for was gonna be low (budget of $1500
max), and so one would point out a car and the other would say, "no,
it looks too good for us.... that one over there looks awful, lets
see how much that one is". We found 3-4 in our price range, all
with heavy rust damage on the roof, most with chewed up interior
seats, some missing radios, some with old kids DVDs left in the
backseats (Open Range 4??), one with a boot full of empty beer
bottles. The last one we saw was $1500, and we went looking for the
shop guy for a test drive, and this filthy hick, with half his teeth
missing, tattoos vaguely visible through the grease spread up his
arms and clothes, and his big floppy hat hiding his ugly face came
out of a shed. In fairness he had the best deal out of everyone we
had spoke to, as had promised to give us 3 months warranty if we had
problems, 6 months w.o.f. and 3 months rego, and fix the window that
didn't close.... We took it for a test drive and while we were diving
decided it was a handy way to drive round the other roads looking for
better 2nd hand car lots. Didn't go for the car in the end, mostly
because the drivers window had essentially fallen out when we pressed
the button to lower it, but also because the man we'd give our money
to, looked like he'd been living rough in the back of a train. Walked
home exhausted and car-less, though after a chat with Caravan Park
Sue last night, we may have a prospect of moving into one of their
on-site caravans....
Tall one received his first pay slip.
Was glad to see that they had not deducted the three half an hour
breaks he was told to put down, and had even rounded up two days
where he'd finished at 5.15, to 5.30pm, so was 2 hours up on what he
expected. He had to logon to view the payslip and earlier in the week
David had stopped to tell him his password. “It's easy to remember”
he said, “your password to logon is: Barton 93”... “Right”
said Tall one, “you see, it's easy as it's your name and your date
of birth.... what year were you born?”... Tall one said, “1983”....
“oh, well maybe it's Barton 83 not Barton 93, i'm not sure, try
both”.....”Thanks”.
Sunday 11th November 2012
Small on e was told to have a lie on
and start work at 10.30am instead of 7.30am. He arrived to find utter
chaos, they had been hit hard with customers that morning and Janrt
had made no effort to keep the kitchen or dishes in any kind of
order. Throughout the day small one said he wanted 2 days off a week,
to save his sanity and to have some kind of life outside work, other
than getting home shattered at 5pm, showering, cooking dinner,
watching an Episode of Dexter or Danger Man and falling asleep before
9pm. Janet agreed and so his hours went down from 50 odd a week to 40
odd a week.
Meanwhile tall one was working 11 till
5 today. He decided to walk down along the beach, which took an hour
and 15 minutes to get there. Everyone seemed a lot more friendly
there now, most all making some kind of conversation, guess they had
seen he was a hard worker. They gave tall one some uniform t-shirts
and shirts, though they all smelt vaguely of perfume. It was a pretty
busy day today, were hit very hard for lunch, and tall one got behind
withth e dishwasher after having to run food and clear tables. A
woman in her 60s came in to help on dishwasher, but ended up just
being a pain int he arse for tall one to trip over, while she fumbled
about food scraps off plates using a napkin. One of the old men
volunteers at the museum asked him where he was from. He said
England, and the old man said, “yes where abouts??”. Tall one
said, “East Sussex”, the old man asked, “yes where abouts?”.
Tall one said, “a village between Tunbridge Wells and Crawley...”,
the old man said, “yes, what's it called”.... Tall one said
“Forest Row”. He then got up from his chair and came and shook
Tall one's hand saying, “I thought I recognized the accent”
(there's no regional accent in the south east) and announced he was
from Burgess Hill.... to which Tall one looked surprised and
pretended to know where that was...”it's a small world”...
Saturday 10th November 2012
Small one went to work, whilst tall one
had a day off and was in charge of getting to the bank down at
Bayfair Shopping Mall to cash this refund cheque for the car at
$1,000. One bus down and the bank had some miserable woman taking her
time cashing the cheque, who kept disappearing to “check”
something. Eventually she gave Tall one the cheque back with a post
it note, saying she'd phoned the writer of the cheque and I had to
call him. Tall one phoned the Frog / Christo and he didn't sound
happy, he spoken to his two Indian Mechanics who claimed we'd made up
everything about them bad mouthing his bad cars, and so wanted to
meet with us and them on site at their mechanics within the hour.
Small one was tied to work, so tall one had to go it alone....
He caught a bus to the industrial
road, but missed the stop, he than rang the bell to get off and the
driver missed the stop. He cut through some back roads feeling like
he was walking into some wild west fight with this big bald man
called The Frog, and two Indian mechanics. When he arrived though,
the Frog was not there, just the two Indians. They claimed they had
no problem with Tall one,and that it was the small fella who had done
all the “bullshitting” and he was a “bullshiter” and he never
liked him when he first saw him, and how much “bullshitting he'd
been doing”. Tall one being the diplomat asked them what the Frog
had told them. They reeled off some stuff about how they had told us
not to trust the Frog, and how the car would cost $800 to repair....
Tall one pointed out that you did say to us that “all the cars he
sells end up here as they are shit, and not one doesn't end up here”,
he also pointed out that small one was wrong to of brought this up to
Frog, to which one of the Indians said, “no, he should not have
told him”. Tall one was then stuck waiting for the Frog to turn up
for 40 minutes. He chatted now and again to the Indians, who were now
claiming they had said, “all the cars he sells end up here because
he sends all his work round to us being our friend, that's what we
told you....”. “Right” said tall one and continued to wait for
the Frog.... Eventually the Indian told him that the Frog is not
coming, “How do you know” asked Tall one, “He phoned and is not
coming unless the bullshitter is here”. Tall one asked if they'd be
here later tonight when small one finished work or when he was off
Monday, to which the Indian said he was not interested anymore and
would not meet ever
Tall one started walking back to town
and phoned The Frog to see what was happening. A discussion in sued
in which the Frog had clearly come around to the Indians side. , He
claimed we'd had the car 2 weeks before we brought it back, and Tall
one pointed out it was 1 week and 2 days. After some more 'chat', The
Frog started on this bullshit of “i'll see you in court, i'll drag
this out and do you for slander against his “friends”.... Tall
one said he didn't want to argue and could they just come see him
after work.... There was a vague answer. The Frog started also
claiming that he'd fixed something in the car and it was driving
“great” now, this as despite the day before him opening the hood
to a faceful of smoke. So, small one then phoned him from work and
had an argument with The Frog. He asked”what if we meet with the
mechanics and they still deny that they bad mouthed you – which
they are obviously going to do.... what then?”. The Frog said he'd
give us $800 for the car. The Frog then got all indignant and started
mentioning going to court again, to which small one said “great
take us to court and they will get the car checked and see what a
piece of shit you sold us”. The Frog then said, “we're on to you,
we've spoken to mechanics around town who say you've been trying this
stunt at all of their garages and we're on to you...”, small one
said, “what are you talking about, we've been in the country 2
weeks and have passport stamps to prove it”. There was no answer to
this, so small one continued with, “i'll be down outside your shop
everyday, and i'll stop every customer that comes in shouting at them
to stay away and not trust to buy a thing from you, i'll post a
negative comment under any online advert you put up for cars, i'll do
whatever it takes.... The Frog still persisted with this line about
us telling “Porkies”.... to which small one almost asked what
this childish phrase meant. It was soon becoming all very farcical,
and small one again brought up that they were missing a car and their
$1,000, and this must be illegal.... Finally found out that the
mechanics was closed at 1pm today anyway, so could have no more
“meetings” with them, and so he said just come over and i'll give
you $800 now.
Tall one received another call from
small one saying to go over to Tauranga. So onto another bus and into
The Frogs. He said nothing and just handed him the cheque and they
parted ways. Tall one then had to wait 40 minutes to get the bus back
to the Bayfair Shopping Mall, to the bank. He cashed the cheque fine,
though the miserable cashier woman from this morning was keeping a
sharp eye on what was happening to these cheques made payable to
“Cash”. It all went through though and soon Tall one was waiting
for a bus back to the Mount (to buy some much needed beer), and hoped
the bus would not be late as his ticket expired in ten minutes, and
he'd have to pay if the bus came after.
Back at The Mount and small one was
also enjoying the rude girls in the Coffee Club. One was forced to go
help him in the kitchen (as Janet was there). But she refused to
butter bread and said she also hated cutting up Calamari. So small
one got her chopping Calamari and then slicing tomatoes... the
stupid bitch. At 3pm Janet came in and saw how tired he looked and
said, “you go home early, you go home at 4pm today” (instead of
5pm), to which small one said, “4pm is not early, that's 8 and a
half hours work, i'll go at 3”, she said yes. So Tall one got home
carrying the box of beer, just in time to find small one laid out in
the sun by the tent, looking out on these gigantic crashing blue
waves on the beach. We may be down $200 to a bunch of jerks, but the
day ended well with a cold beer and a great view.
Friday 9th November 2012
Tall one walked the 50 minute walk to
work today, along the beach. Stopped in Burgr King for a breakfast
and asked for the Egg Muffin meal (on the board at $5.30). The girl
asked if he wanted regular or large, he said just regular, and she
said, “that'll be $6.15”.... Tall ine pointed out the board said
$5.30, to which she said, “tjat's for small, you wanted
regular....”. Tall one poitned out, “you never offered me small,
and the board doesn't say small....”. A lost cause though, the girl
was barely bright enough to press the colourful buttons the till.
Small one had a fun day at work, again no Janet running the place,
just the gang of girls out the front refusing to help him. When he
finished at 5pm he pickmed up Tall one down on Hewlett's Ave. From a
few blocks away Tall one could here the car coming, with it's
distinctive rattling noise.
When Tall one got in the car, Small
one said they were going to see if the car salesman “Christo” at
“The Frog” was there and asked for a refund.... Drove over to
find a much deflated “Frog” who now sported some unhealthly
stubble and was not so pleased to see us. There was no Irish Poetry
quoted or any other bull shit about him being from the UK or Ireland,
just “what's the problem?... car sold as is... what do you want for
a thousand dollars.... you could bring back a car privately
brought”.... Wasn't a big argument or anything, we just pointed out
we'd been to see his two Indian Mechanics about taking out the seats
and asked about the noise, to which one said “The car's shit take
it back, get your money back from the Frog or get him to pay the
repairs”, and the other said, “every single car he sells ends up
here, because he sells shit, not one, not one car doesn't end up
here”. Frog was livid with them, saying he gives them all his
business and wrote us a refund cheque (begrudgingly) for the full
amount, $1,000. This was after he;d tried offering us only $800, but
we talked him up to the full refund. We hadn't expected a refund
right there and then, and so had to bundle out all the shit into the
back of the car, and had to lug home on the bus bags of cans of motor
il and camping gear. Shopping to do a Pack N Save foodshop, and
brought a Burger King meal before bed. The next morning didn't pan
out so well cashing that cheque though...
Tuesday 6th – Thursday 8th
November 2012
Froggie the car is still going, much to
the shock of us both. Not used him much yet, though he's very useful
as a locker (locking laptops away when we're out) and a laundry room
(it heats up great during the day to dry our socks) though its an
expensive locker/laundry room. Tall one started his new job at last,
on the Wednesday. A dusty little cafe attached to an aviation museum
most of the staff were wither smug and condescending or just plain
dreary. Tall one was on wash-up, and there really wasn't much to do.
The dishwasher and sink had a washing up brush attached to a bloody
great big chain, to the wall. as if it was a prize possession that
couldn't be stolen. He caught the bus down their each morning and at
10.20am, the bus was packed with golden oldies, it felt like he was
on a day trip to Eastbourne. There was the usual staff of young
people who were almost ten years younger than tall one, being all
condescending about “oh you've done a really good job sweeping that
floor, very god, well done”.... “fuck off”. Seems to only be
part time hours, so not sure how long he'll stick it out, will keep
looking.
Meanwhile small one still sweating his
way through work. Boss Janet seems to be off most days, leaving him
to run a kitchen on his own, on minimum wage. The girls otu the frotn
had mostly become real bitchy, refusing to do any work to help him,
leaving him to do all the cafe dishes int he dishwasher as well as
50-100 meals a day on his own. He asked Janet for a pay rise (Tall
one is getting $2.50 more per hour just to wash dishes), and after a
few guilty / worried phone calls back to him, agreed to pay him $2
more an hour. He's been working 6 days a week, 7.30am till 5pm, with
only 1 or 2 (if he's lucky) 15 minute breaks. There's some 20 year
old assistant manager telling him he shouldn't be eating a burger, as
staff have to pay for any food....
Have settled into the caravan aprk by
now. Have got use to having to traipse across the field to a toilet
or kitchen for cooking. One morning small one was sat ont he toilet
and noticed the cleaner mopping the stalls on each side of him, then
he went away and small one continued his work. Only to leave the
toilet 5 minutes later and find the cleaner standing outside the
toilet door, holding the mop, and saying, “you all done now?”....
Weather getting better at the Mount, though most days the sun is out
bright and the ocean looks amazing, but the wind makes it freezing to
sit anywhere. So if you walk down the beach its full of very pale
white girls in bikinis shivering to death trying to get sun tans. We
also had a visit from Liam and Claire one evening, who dropped by the
tent and called inside to us, “hello?... hello?... if you don't
want us to come in, just don't say anything...”. Small one also had
a good Thursday as Celtic played Barcelona and won 2-1....
Yahooooo!!!! He spent $10 on the expensive pubic wifi to watch a few
video clips of the game, all narrated in Spanish... “El
Celtico!!!”.
Monday 5th November 2012
Small one's day off from work, and a
bowl of coco pops and cheese on toast in bed. While Tall one was in
the shower he had a phone call (he's sharing small one's phone to
save having to buy a new NZ mobile and sim), it was the sour woman
from the interview yesterday, 'Karen'. Though, she was quite friendly
today. Small one answered the mobile, “hello Conor speaking”, to
which her response was, “Hello Conor is this Michael?”.... “No
Michael's not here he will be back soon”..... When Tall one came
back from the shower he phoned her back, and she wanted him to come
down and go through the different role they'd worked out, which was
essentially setting up functions, serving and cleaning up at the end
of them. Small one drove him down and he had a little tour around
with the Sales rep Martin, and he met the owner Andrew who he'd
spoken to on the phone earlier. It all seemed fine, though hours were
vague as it depended on functions, but they thought full time for nov
dec. They then thanked him for coming and said they'd call, small one
thanked Martin and Janet, then realized her name was Karen as he was
walking out (Janet being Small One's boss who he was working for
yesterday). Five minutes up the road the phone went and it was Karen,
“can you come back after 3pm to collect the contract and starter
pack...” Tall one said fine (going back for a third time now)
“Thanks Janet... I mean Karen, see you this afternoon”. Stopped
in McDonalds for free wifi, a nasty lamb wrap and a nice flat white.
Walked down the beach to the little
island peninsula. Large info sign showed pictures from the 1960s when
the island had a Marine Park with a small pool with bored dolphins,
then in the 1980s it was a swimming pool attraction, but now it's all
been filled in and just a nature walk. Followed the track up to the
summit, but when we got there a Muslim man we'd followed up the beach
had got their before us, and was lying on the summit rock in his
white garments, bare chested, arms lying straight out, with a carrier
bag with something orange inside in one hand. We didn't bother going
to the summit rock and walked back. After 3pm drove back down to
Classic Flyers and collected tall one's contract, and was told he
could start work 10-3 this friday. Back again to the Mount and small
one had a long snooze, listening to the wind batter our poorly tent.
Sunday 4th November 2012
Small one headed to work 7.30am, it was
still pretty windy, but the sun was out. Tall one caught the bus down
to the industrial area and got to the aviation cafe for his job
interview 10 minutes early. He told some sour woman behind the till
that he had an interview with Andrew at 9am. He was then left for
twenty minutes looking bored at aeroplane memorabilia around the
room. Then the sour face woman came over with a folder and sat down,
said “Andrew never told me you ere coming, i'm supposed to
interview you – i didn't even know he'd phoned anyone”... “that
was nice of him” Tall one said. She then asked if he had his CV,
Tall one said “No, sorry I didn't bring one, I had emailed one to
Andrew and I thought the interview was with him”. She said, “oh
no Andrew doesn't do interviews, i look after all the cafe and
function business”. She then asked what experience tall one had,
and he tried explaining what he'd done before, but she looked not
interested (still unhappy about this unexpected interview) and kept
interrupting him. She couldn't even explain the role on offer as she
said she wants someone as Part Kitchen Hand and Part for the
Functions, but said it was 5 days a week not 4. she then thanked tall
one for coming and said she'd get his CV off Andrew. It was all a bit
vague, and she only chatted for a few minutes. So tall one walked
back to the highway disenchanted, and the next bus wasn't for another
40 minutes. He started walking back to town, and after 40 minutes no
bus had past and he was virtually back to the mount anyway.
Tall one joined small one working at
Coffee Club. Tall one was just extra support for busy weekends,
clearing tables and running out coffees and food when ready. It was
pretty straight forward and all the staff were very nice. By then end
of the day his back and legs were aching (not used to working!) and
both baby toes were red?? Janet said there was no full time work yet,
but maybe soon and for now would pay any hours he does added on to
small one's wages. They then asked how old small one was, he told
them 31. To which Janet told him that he looked older than 31,
because of his lines on his forehead.... Tall one added, “and the
grey hairs”.
Saturday 3rd November 2012
Small one working his little heart out
still. Weather not great, so a quiet enough day. Tall one went into
town and found a net cafe which had unlimited internet, to catch up
on his TV Downloads and Job applications. Came back and cleaned out
Froggie's insides, which were disgusting. Dog hair lined every inch
of the interior, it was as if the previous owner had shaved a jack
russell in there, and then scattered random old plasters, wrappers,
leaves and a full bottle of Grape Flavoured Water in the seat pocket?
Tall one had a phone call about a job
offer. An Aviation museum/cafe/function (Classic Flyers)centre down
on Hewlett's road near Bunnings, needed a kitchen hand. A man named
Andrew phoned as he had received Tall one's CV (sent only that
morning). He started by asking if tall one was aged 59 or 65, he
wasn't sure??? Tall one said he was 29. He apologised and said he
couldn't make out the date (it was a typed e-mail and CV?) and then
he read out by d.o.b. 25th May 1983... oh yes. He
explained the job was full time, roughly 9-5, 4 days a week plus some
extra hours, and said to come tomorrow at 9am and “we'll go for a
walk and a chat...”. So tall one let small one at the Coffee Club
know that he wouldn't be able to work at 10am, but could later in the
day depending on the interview.
That evening the wind was worse than
the night of the scared sheep. From inside the tent the walls were
poinding in in us all night long along with the howling wind sounds.
When you went outside the tent though, it didn't seem to bad, sot he
tent must exaggerate it.
Friday 2nd November 2012
We christened our dark green car
“Froggie” - we brought him from a dodgy place called 'Frogs' and
he makes strange noises like a Frog. We asked the big guy what that
rattling noise was when we brought him, and he said it's nothing to
worry about.... Took Froggie to a pair of Indian Gentlemen Mechanics
recommended by the big guy, who said that sound wasn't good, and
could cost up to $800 to fix.... We originally only took it there for
them to remove the centre seats, but now don't know what to do. They
did say it may cause a big problem and ruin the engine, but also it
may be harmelss and do nothing while we have it for the year (other
than make an annoying sound). So, we'll take the risk and keep it,
(it's not gonna be driving great distances) or even try and sell it
for the same amoint and buy another...
Small one also annoucned to Tall One
that Janet wants him to try and come in and work. If weather is good
Saturday and Sunday he'll be needed on the floor, and if he does okay
on the weekend he may be trained up to make Coffees. Only thing is
some other fella is on trial for coffee maker, but she does not think
he'll work as he has dreddlocks and she doesn't think customers want
to look at them.... Janet is obsessed with excessive hair. She's told
small one to shave his beard, and small one tried to take it in a bit
this evening, but ended up shaving the whole thing off. Then she had
said Tall one must get rid of his smeg, and so that had to be
shortened too. She has some bizarre fascination that customers are
repelled by facial hair....
Thursday 1st November 2012
Another day off for small one, though
not quite as Janet had an appointment, so he still had to work
7.30am-11am... In that time tall one had found some cars for sale
online in a place in Tauranga called 'Frogs'. Small got all excited
and so we had to leave right away, passing Coffee Club on the way,
where Janet wasn't working at all but sat outside chatting in the
sun. Took the bus to Tauranga for $2.40 each. At one stop this Mauri
fella in his thirties got on the bus, and as he walked past
passengers he asked them stupid things like, “hey fella, nice
shirt, where's it from?”. He then saw tall one and small one and
decided to sit on the seat next to tall one. Then the questions
started, “where you from, where you been, where you staying”,
then he got stuck on Tall one's sunglasses, “how much you pay for
them, i'll give you $20 for them”. Tall one declined, but the fella
insisted, “$20 for 'em... or maybe we do rock papaer scissors”....
“no thankyou” said Tall one, “let's do rock paper scissors
anyway bro!”. Tall one said he needed his sunglasses, it was a
sunnyday. The Mauri fella then took a knife out of his pocket (a fold
up one), and said “take a look at that Bro, that's good quality
that is”. Tall one politely replied, “yeah, looks like a good
one, be good for camping...???”. Then the fella said, “No, No,
for protection, there's some nasty people about...”, Tall one
asked, “in the Mount?”, “All over New Zealand”..... he then
put the knife away. The bus journey then took a very long time, and
the Mauri sat there with his hands nervously shaking. He piped up a
couple of times asking stupid questions like, “you ever been to
Bondi Beach? I been there once and the beach came to me, know what i
mean?”, or he pointed to some young fella ont he bus and asked Tall
one, “that your brother?”.... “not that I know of” said Tall
one. Then we arrived in the City and the fella left without so much
as a goodbye. That was the last incentive we needed to buy a car....
to avoid using public transport due to lunatics.
Found this 'Frogs' place, ran by this
stocky, bald guy who claimed he was Irish, but also later claimed he
was from the UK (seemed to change tact depending on where the
customer was from). The only car he had left for $1,000 was a 1994
Mazda MPV Efini – Dark Green, people carrier. The interior was a
shit hole, covered with garbage, crumbs and dirt – needed a good
hoover, but he said he sold them as-is. We took it for a quick drive,
and despite the fact it makes a funny rattling sound when it moves
and despite the fact the thing is enourmous (7 seats) for 2 people,
we brought the thing.... He then sent us over to the VTNZ to register
the car into our names. Some dozy English bird served us, and it
wasn't till after we walked away that we noticed she entered small
one's name as 'Conor Heganti' instead of 'Hegarty'. So we then had to
queue up for another 20 minutes to get it fixed. We then topped up
the car with petrol (it was below empty.. the fella probably syphoned
it all out) and a full tank cost us $100! Then spent an hour driving
back and forth between Hewlett's road and Bayfair shopping mall
trying to buy Motor Oil and Coolant.
Before heading back to the Caravan
Park, we'd stopped off at Just The Ducks Nuts backpackers (where tall
and small had met 3 and a half years ago). The place hadn't changed
much, though we could find no staff to talk to. We also went to the
little Indian man who runs the Dairy / Convenience Store round the
corner. Back in May 2009 we'd got a photo taken of us (and some of
Ducks Nuts guys), which we had printed and framed for him. Sure
enough, 3 and a half years later, it was still up on his wall – and
he even recognized the small one and let us have a Cheese and Pie and
a Lemondade Popsicle for free.
Drove back to the caravan park,
passing Coffee Club as we went in, where Janet was still sat outside
talking (this was over 4 hours later). We then had to spend an hour
taking everything out the tent, unpegging it and moving it over on
our site to make room for the car (or tank) to park.
Wednesday 31st October 2012
Halloween, and thank god the Trickle
Treaters stayed away... Was a huge, orange full moon out though.
Small one had a fun day at work
forgetting about 15 apple danishes in the oven, which he thoroughly
burnt. He threw them away on the sly, and took out another 15 frozen
danishes and was ready to claim to Janet that he'd never put them
into the oven in the first place.
After work Tall and Small one took 50
minute walk around the base track of the Mount. Was a very nice walk.
Looks of sailing ships out on the island side of the mount, and a
shed load of joggers who lapped us at least twice. Back to the
Caravan Park and tried to settle in for the night. Then these huge
gale winds started coming up, the tent walls were pulsating in and
out at as with these howling winds. Went out and re-hammered all the
ropes and pegs, and noticed that al the sheep were mewing a lot more
than usual and had all headed to the high ground in a long line. The
sky was an eery cloudless pinky colour, and it all felt a bit
ominous, like a tsunami was expected.
Then, over the sound of these huge
winds, and over the sound of the TV Show we were watching on the
laptop, we could hear this blasting audio from someone's TV. It was
loud enough to be an outside cinema. We opened the tent doors to see
that the enormous monstrous Caravan opposite us (with the rough
Northern man) had his TV on full blast with surround sound. We hid
back in the tent, and after 15 minutes it went away, ww assumed
someone else complained.
Tuesday 30th October 2012
Tall one convinced small one to smuggle
out some teaspoons from the Coffee Club kitchens, it was a delicate
operation, but we managed it. Janet said that after the busy weekend
and a day off, she had noticed small one had improved a lot, and
signed him on for a year contract at minimum wage.... that was
generous....
Meanwhile Tall one has become like a
local celebrity at the Charity Shops and Dollar Stores, in them
everyday with orders from small one to buy utensils or houseware.
Made the mistake of buying 2 towels for $12 in the Variety Store, and
found out that night (that despite after washing them) they left
hundreds of little fluffy green / orange balls all over your body –
which even two days later we're still picking out of our hair.... So
have kept them aside for beach towels and sent tall one down to the
Red Cross to buy some dead man's towels.
Tall one's work search continues,
there's been 1-2 online jobs turning up each day to apply for, and
going back to the dodgy looking cafes he'd skipped over last week –
to hand in the CVS, but still nothing. Compared to Melbourne and
Toronto it was Tall One who got work way quicker than Small One, but
this time round it seems to be Cooks people are after.
Have been seeing a whole range of
Caravan Park residents, from the young Backpackers in make shift
tents or Wicked Campervans, to some real uptight, snotty couples or
families. Opposite us is this monstrous Caravan, with extendable
walls – the thing is easily bigger than our flat in Toronto or
Melbourne. But despite this the middle aged couple inside come and
cook in the kitchen everyday. There a strange pair in such an
expensive home, he's this rough, big fella with a thick Northern
English accent, who constantly seems to be pulling his shorts up as
despite his girth, they seem to hang somewhere nearer to his knees.
Monday 29th October 2012
At last, small one had a day off. It
was lashing rain early morning and the tent seemed to withstand it.
By mid morning the sun was out, we walked some 8km down to Bayfair
shoppin g mall, via the industrial park (to go to Bunnings and buy an
expensive $98 electric cord for our camp site – as we'd been
borrowing theirs). At Bayfair got a dinner from the food court, small
one opted for a curry, which was disgusting. Though thankfully the
cashier was crossed eyed and did not notice that the card payment did
not go through (as small one had pressed 'credit' instead of
'Cheque'), so ate quickly and then dodged around the mall avoiding
any Indians. Did a food shop then took the bus back to the
Campground. Small one then wanted to re-arrange the inside tent
layout for the third time since putting it up 2 days ago. Everything
brought out the tent, then swept out, the n put back into the
different rooms. Finally sat down outside the tent and had a beer.
Watching the ocean and the para gliders coming down from the mount to
the beach. There strangely seems to be a pheasant living on the
mount, as keep hearing this pheasant calling throughout the day,
which is a bit random by the beach.
Sunday 28th October 2012
Our first night in the tent was a cold
one.... slept for a couple of hours but both woke up freezing at 1am.
We had no sleeping bags, just a bed sheet and a strange, very dusty
blanket brought new in Kmart. We had the little heater (from
Salvation Army) on for a while, but the thing is so bright, it
illuminates the tent like a beacon. We found out earlier that (as the
tents virtually white) when there's a light on inside – we're
virtually putting on a shadow puppet show of us frantically killing
mosquitoes for the whole camp to see. Didn't sleep much more after
that, and found one of the other problems with camping out
(especially after a beer) it's a long way in the cold and dark to the
toilet at 1am. Tall one couldn't wait, had to undo the first zip out
of the first inner-room to the main part, then unzip the main tent
door, then un-zip the outer rain cover door – then stumbling across
the caravan park in the dark chasing lots of rabbits away, hoping he
hadn't forgot his little swipe fob to get into the toilets.... When
he got back small one was adamant that he wouldn't be going through
that hassle himself in the future and was talking about finding an
old butter tub at work that he could pee into from the safety of the
tent at night. Tall one said, “I am not going to be pissing into a
butter tub”.
Still cold first thing in the morning,
and small one headed off to work (which thankfully was now only a 4
minute walk instead of a 25 minute walk). Poor small one had another
hugely busy day ahead, these summer weekends were packed with
visitors (and in the summer EVERY day will be like this apparently).
Tall one got to work as temporary home-maker. Dollar store and the
Sunshine Variety store for cheap towels, mirror, can opener, dust pan
and more... then the Red Cross charity shop for 2 more pillows for $2
each, some pillow cases for 50p each (though tall one did have to
peel off the dead man's hair from them), and some cups for 50 cents
each. Caught the bus down to Bayfair shopping mall with a very
Scottish bus driver, refusing to give some poor 14 year old lad
student rate as he'd forgot his card. Tall one found out that his
$2.40 ticket was valid for 1 hour on any other bus from the time he
first gets it, so by the time he got to the mall it was 1.15pm, and
the next bus back was at 1.29pm. In those 14 minutes he managed to go
to the supermarket and get tea, coffee, milk, cereal and biscuits,
then get to Kmart and buy 2 sleeping bags, 2 plates. 2 bowls, 1
electrical adapter, and make it to the bus stop just in time to get
the bus back for free.
Small one dropped back to the tent a
couple of times during his arduous shift, when he was on his 15
minute breaks. He kept up with the orders okay, and even had Janet
ask him to slow down at one point. He's at least been told he has
tomorrow off. Back to the tent exhausted after a long day and so
little sleep last night and he still wanted to re-arrange the tent
and turn it so the windows had a better view of the beach. Thankfully
tall one talked him out of it. They had some terrible takeaway food
from down the road then walked up the beach. Back to the campsite and
almost broke the washing machine washing our dusty Kmart sheet.
Throughout the evening tall one and small one had obsessively kept
the tent doors zipped up, even if just going out for a few minutes,
as they were driven mad with killing mosquitoes last night. Then
around 8-9pm, two voices called out there names in the dark, turned
out to be Liam and Claire who had come up to see their new home. We
opened the tent and they came in and sat in the doorway. Small one
watched with horror as over those 20 minutes th mosquitoes gradually
filled up the tent. Then we all went for stroll up the beach, and we
all headed off, it was good of them to come up.
Saturday 27th October 2012
High Street i Mount Maunganui was mad
busy today with some weekend fancy old car show. This meant that poor
small one was run off his feet today at work, and it was a long, busy
struggle. He got through it in the end and Janet, with her little
hamster cheeks remained positive, never losing her cool with getting
behind in orders – then the waitresses turned round and said it
wasn't even that busy today. Tall one applied for Hostels in Tauranga
and some office admin roles, but spent the rest of the day preparing
for the big move to the campsite tonight up at the Mount. Brought a
dodgy looking heate rin Salvation Army for $10, and some other
cables, but could not find a lamp anywhere. The only palce was back
down to Bayfair Shopping Mall and K-Mart.... Looked up later the
distances, to see the mall is 4.5km from the hostel, and the mount is
another 2.5km up above the hostel, and have been doing the walks to
both of them nearly every day.
After small one's long long day, he
was off early at 4pm and spent 2 hours watching tall one put up the
4.5 metre long tent at the campsite. Struggled to get the roof to
level out, it was some what saggy, but oh well. Then walked back down
to the Pacific Coast Hostel (hopefully for the last time), and
checked out. Was going to get bus back, but they had finished for the
day. Thankfully the French Girl (who checked us in) and her American
Boyfriend offered to drive us up to the Mount for the same price as
the bus ($6). We gave them $10, and they had a nice campervan, very
old, but a good setup (apparently older than him). No power steering
meant that we spent most of the time watching Julie trying to turn to
get out the car park than actually driving to the mount.
Once there we got setup, popped back
to the high street for a subway and a six pack of beers. Then sat
inside the tent listening to the waves and killing mosquitoes....
(and also listening to the sheep on the hill – which was a strange
noise to hear with the waves). The moon and stars were all very
bright, and reflected down on the crashing waves, it was quite nice.
Friday 26th October 2012
Small one off to work early again,
leaving Tall one alone in the hostel. Tall one sat outside reception
and took an hour to fill in some intricate job application form for a
vacancy at the Hot Springs (next to the Caravan Park they're moving
to on the weekend). Unfortunately he had to sit listening to hostel
manager Brooke behind reception, and he couldn't believe how rude she
could be to customers coming in. Someone would ask for the price of a
room and she'd just abruptly say 'price list over there'.... The
hostel also takes bookings for Naked Bus and someone came in and
asked what time the bus was to Auckland tomorrow morning, her abrupt
response was, “well i don't know, they change everyday”.... Then
of course when some of the long termers come in and ask her a
question about herself, everything is put to one side and she speaks
in that loud juvenile voice about all these incredible ideas she has
to put up American artwork or how she's reading all of Dickens' books
or do a day trip to Whakatane and everyone can come woohoo!... give
me strength. Walked the hour and a half return walk back to the
Bayview shopping mall, to try and hand out Cvs to the food court and
buy more supplies, neither very successfully. Carried in stuff to
store at Coffee Club, passing some people from the hostel in
Greenpeace t-shirts trying to be all smug and whacky and sign Tall
one up.... no thank you
Small one tired from his 9 and a half
hour day. Unsuccessful in his many attempts at making an omlette, one
of the waitresses had to do it. Janet is a bit of a head-fuck to work
with, she'll be very involved and finicky about all the food going
out, telling small one to move a piece of lettuce into a different
angle or to melt cheese a little bit more or a little less on a
sandwich. Then he's never sure where she actually is, one minute
she's helping with food orders in the kitchen, the next she's behind
the coffee counter serving – having left thing on the stove or half
prepared. She's been gearing small one up for the busy weekend, which
he's yet to witness. Telling him to get out 9 packs of bacon for
saturday and sunday, compared to the usual 1 a day they had been
using. Tall one is being dragged out of retirement to work some part
time hours saturday/sunday, and at the same time they have to both
try and move out the hostel and setup a tent at the Mount.
Thursday 25th October 2012
Small one headed off to work, this time
a full day starting t 7.30am, till 4.30pm.
Tall one amended his CV to promote the
Hospitality experience and went to print some off at Reception.
Hostel Manager 'Brooke' was there, and whilst printing them out she
noticed his date of birth and said happily “we have almost the same
birthday!”, apparently she was 15 days older than Tall one, Tall
one was absolute delighted as you can imagine. Brooke gave him his
Cvs and then announced that she was going to New York for her
birthday and that we should definatley come with her.... Tall one
politely smiled through grit, horrified teeth. Then she said that so
far only two other people are coming with her, Tall one said he would
see what happened.
Tall one hit the streets and cafes
dropping asking for work. The cafes seemed either completely dead, or
mad busy and would have to come back out after the lunch rush for the
busy ones. He dropped into a post office to buy postcards and
birthday card for Little Richard. Whilst queuing, there was this
little 5 foot tall old lady in front of him, who turned around with
blood shot scared eyes and a shaky voice and said “do you have to
stand so close to me?”. Tall one was confused and asked “sorry?”,
she repeated “do you have to stand so close to me?”. Tall one
said “I'm just queueing for the counter”. Then she claimed, “I'm
only joking, your so tall you see and I always seem to get tall
people behind me”, “oh right” said Tall One, thinking that she
had been terrified of him. She then wished him, “goodluck with your
height” and shuffled away out the shop. Meanwhile Small One was
busy cleaning his dirty kitchen whilst looking at his beach view. He
found lots of little mouse droppings scattered all over the shelves
and floors. In between cleaning he was endlessly cooking Eggs
Benedict, even up to 5 minutes to closing, some other bastard ordered
eggs benedict. Janet has offered tall one some part time hours at the
weekend, and also the coffee shop sofa as his living room as they
weren't going to have one in their new tent home. She said we could
take some plates and cups from the coffee shop for free, small one
said he only needs 2 of each thing, she said “fuck that you need 4
of everything i will be sleeping there on my break”. Before closing
up for the day one of the girls said there were a few CV's handed in
today for people looking for work, Janet asked if there were any good
ones, she was told not really, and they were all thrown in the bin.
Tall one wondered if the same was happening with all of his he'd
printed and past out that day throughout the Town.
After work brought Pizzas for $4.90
each at Pizza Hut (later wanted to buy a smoothie which cost $6.80...
more than a whole pizza??). Liam and Claire offered to drive us to
Bayview to buy last minute bits from Kmart. They both came back from
work and changed straight into their football gear as they were
playing 5-aside while we were shopping. They got out at the football
ground and small one took over in the drivers seat to drive round the
corner to the shopping mall. Only Liam had put the hazard lights on
to stop, and had not told us that they were broken and would not turn
off. So drove the few blocks to the mall with tall one holding the
button in the off position with his finger. When they parked and had
the engine off it still wouldn't turn off so ended up having to wedge
the button shut using a 10 cents piece. Into the mall and took back
the $129 tent and brought the smaller, better looking $199 tent, as
well as another $200 worth of stuff and some work clothes for tall
one.
Wednesday 24th October 2012
Small one was up early for his first
day at work.... The Celtic vs. Barcelona match was on and finished
giving him only 20 minutes to walk the 25 minute path to work, so had
to leave Tall one with the computer to tell him if they score changed
from 1-1 during the last few minutes (it did, 2-1 Barcelona). He got
to work at 10am, the two girls at the coffee counter showed him the
kitchen, apparently Janet (the South Korean lady who gve him the job
and said she'd be here to train him) was not coming in till 12pm,
leaving him with the standby cook named Reggie (a large Malaysian
fella), who said he was leaving at 11am as he had an appointment.
This meant that after less than an hour of learning the menu, small
one was then left for an hour and a half till Janet arrived at
12.30pm. Small one did okay, most people ordered just coffees and
muffins anyway, which the coffees dealt with directly otuside, what
orders he did get were for eggs Benedict and toasties, so pretty
simple as he'd done msot of this and more at The Corkman. Reggie had
told him the most food orders they do in the kitchen is around 50 a
day (small one used to do up to 200 in the Corkman).
Janet turned up at 12.30pm, pleased to
see small one had coped. Janet swears a lot, and despite the fact
there was a back log of orders, she started telling small one “i
was late, i could not get the fuck out of bed, I wake up and think,
no fuck i go back to sleep... i okay now”, Small one said “can
you just start helping with the orders??”, she responded, “not
yet, I need a fucking coffee before i do anything first”. They
cleared the orders pretty quick between them, and at one point a
waitress came to the window and said table 23 wants to know how much
longer on their meal. Janet checked the docket for table 23 and her
responce was, “fucking fish n'chips!... look fish n' chips, they
only order 11 fucking minutes ago, they go to fucking fish n'chip
shop they wait longer than 11 fucking minutes! Tell them to go fuck
themselves!”. The waitress passed on her regards. Small one got
through the day though and finished at 4.30pm. It quietened down
after 2.30pm anyway and he started to clean. He noticed the place was
thick with filth, greasy tea towels covering up huge gaping cracks in
the bottom of the fridge, and shelves with spoonfuls of grease and
dirt, so he just started cleaning. Janet told him “we're fucking
keeping you! We send coffee over to Sue (in Caravan Park) to thank
her!”. Small one quite enjoyed his days work, spent most of the day
either laughing at Korean Janet's constant swearing, or staring out
at the Kitchen hatch/window into the cafe which had a great view out
to the Mount and the Ocean.
Meanwhile Tall one spent the day
applying for jobs online, and then signing up worth the local
employment agencies for Office Admin work (still to early in season
for too much fruit picking work). Walked into town after lunch, it
was a fantastic clear blue sky day and he walked up the sandy beach.
Despite the constant warm sun, their was also this constant strong,
cold breeze, so you had goosebumps sat out at the beach but it was
still gorgeous. As he sat on the beach by the Mount trying to find
somewhere out the wind, he heard this loud swoosh from overhead and
looked up to see a hang glider coming down on top of him (paragliding
from top of Mount), he turned and landed about 20/30 foot from him on
the beach.
Tall one went up to Small One's new
job at Coffee Club. Asked how much a large medium coffee was and was
told $5.20!, so he asked for a small ($4.20!). He sat down on an
outside table int he cold wind to drink his coffee and read his book,
when this man in his late 30's with a mangled beard cycled past and
shouted “Speaka-z-deutsche?” (do you speak German?). Tall one
just shook his head and looked bac k at his book, but the fella
turned his bike around and came over. “Where you from?” he asked,
Tall one said, “somewhere else?”, he said “New Zealand?”,
tall one said “No” (not too kean on talking to a looney). “Ah
your from the UK, whereabouts? Devon?”, “No from the southeast”
said tall one, “Sommerset?” said the looney, “close enough”
said Tall one. Then the fella started a rant at Tall one, who spent
his time hiding behind his reflective glasses trying to keep reading
his book. The Looney announced, “Everytime i meet someone from the
UK i always tell them the same thing, that in the next four years the
Pope will be dead, he'll be replaced by a Belgium that Obama will be
kicked out, that he'll be replaced by another Negro, that Homosexuals
were used to fly the planes into the Twin Towers, that.....”. It
went on for a good 5 minutes and Tall one just stared down at his
book in silence. When he finished he stood in silence staring at Tall
one for a responce, Tall one said “That's right”, and looked back
to his book. The man cycled off and Tall one watched him pull over to
some poor lad on a bench over the road and start talking.
Small one called tall one inside the
cafe to his little scenic window He introduced him to Janet, whose
fingers were covered with food, so he just kind of stroked her clean
palm with two of his fingers. When small one finished work they
headed back to the hostel cooked dinner, then walked back out to the
Mount to try and catch the sunset. It was already going down, but
they made it to the top just in time, they were both exhausted, not
used to this yet. Fantastic views from the top though.
Tuesday 23rd October 2012
Phoned New Zealand Tax Office and got
both our 2008/2009 IRD (tax numbers) reactivated. Hostel Manager
Brooke had told us to go to National Bank to open a bank account as
they know her and they don't ask for a proof of address (she said she
doesn't want loads of backpackers getting post here). Went to the
bank to be told “tell Brooke things have changed and we need the
proof of address”.... then we had to walk back to the hostel, only
to find Brooke already printing them off as the bank had phoned them
themselves. Back to the bank and we opened the bank account with Visa
debit card.
We then borrowed a hostel bike each
and cycled down to Bay View shopping centre to get the Tent
instructions that were missing, and get small one some small clothes.
The bikes turned out pretty inadequate to say the least. Tall one's
had a back flat tyre and small one's pedal fell right off and onto
the pavement. For the rest of the trip he had to occasionally kick
the side of the bike (like riding a horse) to keep the pedal kicked
on to tje bolt – occasional not in time and tall one would have to
stop behidn him and pick up the pedal for him. Successfully got our
shopping, but ten minutes away from the hostel cycling back, tall
one's rear flat tyre completely came off the rim of the bike. At the
same moment small one stopped to see what the problem was his pedal
clunked to the floor again. Ended up pushing the bikes back and hid
them at the back of the shed so we wouldn't get blamed.
Then we walked up town to the Caravan
Park. Sue was working again today and she spoke to the Manager there
and then and found us a way to stay right through over Christmas,
gave us some good spots to choose from, only we'd have to move three
times now. She said she'd try and sort out a better schedule for
moving between now and then and would also try and get the six week
Christmas rates down for us ($420 a week compared to usual $280 –
btwn 25th Dec and 5th Feb). So think we
finally got out accommodation sorted thanks to Sue. Now just need to
get Tall one work (we did drop in to Adecco and register today as
well), and see how small one works out tomorrow on his first shift.
Back at the hostel cooked Mince and Rice, whilst one of the middle
aged fools in Bermuda shorts walked to the stove and stuck his
cigarette into the hobs flame under small one's frying pan, lit his
fag then walked through the hostel smoking till he got outside...
Looking forward to moving out.
Monday 22nd October 2012
A long nights sleep, woke up confused
after so much sleeping... Had breakfast and headed out to check out
the Seagull hostel round the corner. Much better than this one,
quieter and friendlier staff. She also had a flat to rent for $360 a
week with 2 bedrooms, own kitchen, bathroom balcony, or a double room
in the hostel with own toilet and tv for $300 a week – but we could
not stay there for Christmas through to February, so only short term.
We walked to the base of the Mount, took about 20 minutes to walk
there from the hostel. Asked the Caravan Park there prices, as they
had sites right at the foot of the Mount, a few steps from the beach
– for $40 per night ($280 a week for 2) but their prices went up
from 25th Dec-Feb to $60 a day ($420 a week)... plus we'd
have to buy a tent/mattress etc... so two different lifestyles
choices there.
Walked down to Bay shopping centre,
and ended up buying a ten man tent for the caravan park – we
figured at least we could stay there over Christmas, whilst we'd have
to move out the flat, which though would be easier living, would not
be anything new compared to living in a tent right on the beach by
the mount. Got back to the hostel carrying our new home on the bus,
only to find that the instruction were missing from the bag, so will
have to go back for them.
Had pizza in the hostel, watching two
middle aged men chatting, drinking Cider at lunch time, wearing
Bermuda shorts – they were the personification of a mid-life
crisis. Chatting loudly and proudly about how to succeed in life, but
yet they were in their fifties living with 20 year olds in a hostel.
The hostel reception phone went a few times, and we were horrified to
find it was the exact same ring tone as Mummy Hegarty back in
Ireland.
Walked back up to the Mount and
enquired about booking the Caravan sot, only to be told they were
completely booked out at Christmas for 1 week, and the pot
overlooking the beach we wanted was only available to 19th
Dec, then we'd have to move to infront of the toilet block until the
29th Dec, when we'd have to move out for 1 week, then move
back to the toilet block – and the prices go up from $280 a week
per site, to $420 a week for 25th Dec to 5th
Feb.... The reception lady Lisa then swapped shift with Sue, and Sue
was more helplful saying there were a couple of unofficial spare
sites that she may be able to work around for us and that she'd phone
back tomorrow. She also recommend trying to look for work with Jane
who ran the Coffee Club on the corner just over from the Mount. Small
one popped his head into the coffee shop and this chubby Asian woman
told him to sit down, she had no application forms and didn't want to
see a CV and that she would talk to him for ten minutes. Tall one
stood outside wondering what was going on, whilst small one was
offered a job running their kitchen as their Aussie chef was leaving
that day. He'd be mostly making sandwhiches, toasties, fried
breakfast and muffins, and he would have to work Christmas Eve, Day,
Boxign Day, New Years Eve and Day and that if he wants days off he's
in the wrong place.... it would be 60 hours a week at minimum wage
$13.50, but up to $15 after trial. He said he'd take it and asked if
her name was Jane? She said, “Eugene, how you know Eugene?”. He
said “no, Jane, the Caravan Park said to ask for Jane does she work
here?”, then the woman said “No Jane, but I tell Eugene you ask
for her”.... “What's your name?” asked small one, she replied,
“You remember Michael Jackson's sister? My names Janet like his
sister, remember her, you not forget my name”... small one said,
“Maybe the Caravan Park said to speak to Janet not Jane”....
“Eugene?”.
Back to hostel for sausages and a heap
of wedges, listening to a young bald German talking loudly about how
awesome the tubing in Laos was and how he'd done Mushrooms and
Opium.... We then went over to visit Liam and Claire, who we'd last
seen in Melbourne in 2010-2011, to go see The Good The Bad and The
Ugly at the Astor Cinema. They were keeping well, now sponsored at
the Mount and just got another year on their apartment rental. It
then got dark and small one made tall one walk all the way back up to
the Mount for something to do, and then brought a Hot Chocolate in
Burger King, and the cashier asked if we'd come over on cruise from
Ireland???? Walked back to hostel on the very quiet dark streets, and
had the third car in one day pass us which was full of young idiots
shouting something at us out the window.
Sunday 21st October 2012
Left early hostel early morning,
leaving $20 key deposit incase they asked us to now pay the room
upgrde, it really wasn't worth it, the place is a hole. Walked down
town to the bus stop at 7am, the town was crawling with drunks
shouting and holding up stumbling girls in heels. Sat by the bus stop
with a crusty 12 hour old sausage roll and a surprisingly good coffee
from the newsagents nearby. The bus turned up for 7.30am, we had got
the correct temp bus stop outside the Korean restaurant. Small one
even managed to get the wifi password out the driver to use on the 4
hour journey to Mount Manganui. Changed buses in Hamilton halfway,
and the next driver with his very very slow explanations of where we
were stopping and for how long, took us all the way to the Mount
saving a 2nd bus change in Tauranga as scheduled.
Bus stopped right outside our hostel,
Pacific Coast. Which was right next to a McDonalds, opposite a
newsagents and 10 minutes from New World Supermarket. It was a very
clean, nicely turned out place, good size, but unfortunately full of
German's singing Disney songs. Did a $80 food shop at New World (our
first food shop since February), where some unnecessary woman packed
our bags for us whole we watched her do this badly. Back t hostel
cooked Jacket Potatoes and then spoke to Hostel Manager about local
work. She seemed a bit highly strung, so did not mention the hostel
work at this hostel, also we'd met a reception girl earlier and all
other staff seem to be part time work for accommodation only. The
wifi was a bit temperamental depending on where you were, but you
still had to pay either way ($12 for 7 hours). Looked for flats and
jobs locally online, not finding a great deal. These first days and
weeks are always the worst. Trying to settle in and worry about
finding work and somewhere to stay, whilst trying not to waste the
little money you have left. Its been raining all day so have not
walked up to the Mount today, maybe tomorrow (which is a public
holiday).
Went for a lie down around 2.30pm and
both of us woke up after midnight after sleeping some 10 hours. Then
small one went back to sleep for another 6-7 hours till 7am, whilst
tall one watched some tv shows on his broken laptop for a few hours,
then was asleep again. Hopefully this'll catch us up with that jet
lag.
Saturday 20th October 2012
Still awake at 7am and a God awful
shower in the hostels hideous bathrooms. Some idiot on our floor had
pinned a note to his door saying “if you want sex come in....”.
Went out for McDonalds breakfast, struggling to cross the street with
all the barriers for this bike race. McDonalds full of piss heads and
bums from the Friday Night, one asking us for 20 cents who wouldn't
give up. Got our free wifi fix as everywhere here charges, also had a
great flat white coffee – just can't get them outside Aus and
NZ....
Walked up K Road to an old bookshop
and an expensive cafe. Then headed out to Mount Eden. On the way put
stopped to buy a drink in a Petrol Station, inside was a queue of
bewildered customers watching an argument between a Kiwi customer and
the Indian casher. The Kiwi guy had apparently been overcharged on
his credit card and the cashier said he could not reverse it but
offered him cash or more petrol in exchange, the kiwi guy was
swearing and carrying on condescendingly about how “option one is
not an option.... option 2 is not an option so we have to go with
option 3... which is phone your boss”, to which the cashier told
him “the boss is abroad”. We got our juice and left quickly. Made
it up the Mount, great views of Auckland City skyline amongst the
many extinct volcano mounts. Both knackered from the walk up we
headed back to the City. Stopped back into the same petrol station
and made the mistake of asking the cashier how it ended up, he went
off on a rant about how he thought Kiwi were laid back and how he was
going to fuck off back to India and smoke weed and that we could
come....We didn't go with him, but walked up the path further where a
man was using a vaccum cleaner to hoover the pavement outside his
car.
Back in the City still chaos trying to
cross the road with the barriers and the cyclists in the way. They
had crossing points which people in high viz tops bottle necked large
groups of people together until they strted blowing whistles for
everyone to make a dash across the road before the next lto of bikes
came. Small one shopped about and got the best rate for his Euros to
change to NZ Dollars. We then took the ferry over the harbour to
Devenport. Walked up North Head looking over the islands and the
beach, very nice area. Had some soup and pies int he terminal before
heading back to the City.
Decided to unwind by going to the
cinema.... first didn't know which queue to stand in and moved three
times, then the tickets turned out to be $17 each! There was then an
old man sat alone on a seat who was staring directly at Tall one
without saying a word. Tall one moved over to the coffee bar and the
old man was still staring, so he cheerfully said “hello!” to him
and kept walking. At the coffee bar asked some big fella behidn the
till if he ordered the coffee at this till or the other, the big
fella said “at the till”, “sorry, which till?”.... “this
one”. Tall one then asked just for a black coffee, to which this
perky, short bearded cashier piped up “what type of black coffee?”.
Tall one said he didn't mind, “well” said the chirpy little
fella, “there is Long Black or Americano”. Tall one said “which
ever is cheaper”. The little fella persisted “yes but they are
the same price, Americano is coffee with a little bit of hot water
and a Long Black is two shots of coffee and a lot more hot water so
which one do you want??”. Tall one just said disinteresed,
“Americano”. The little fella than turned to the big fella and
told him to make an Americano, to which the big fella said “what's
an Americano?”.
The excitement continued entering the
cinema screen when we were told we had allocated seats G3 and G4. In
the screen there was only four people there, all in row G and each
either side of where we were sitting. All the other seats were empty
and we saw no reason to sit surrounded by strangers like lunatics, so
sat at the other end of row G on our own. Small one went out to the
toilet and when he was gone an old man came in going up and down
every row and chair bending right down to the arm to read each chair
number, after all that hard work he sat down directly behind Tall
One.... Then Tall one noticed it was that lunatic old man who was
staring at him downstairs. Another customer came in and told the old
man that he was in the wrong chair and the old man refused to move,
he'd some to see a movie called “Killing Me Softly” and tall one
thought this was a bad sign. When small one came back they moved up
to the centre of Row G away from the old man. A few minutes later a
young couple came in, edged there way all the way up Row G, past 9-10
empty chairs (and the other 120 empty chairs Tall one counted) to
tell tall one and small one they were in their seats. So, we budged
down a couple of seats, back towards the old man. The trailers then
came on, and two girls came in together in the dark. They stopped at
the end of our Row G, and started whispering “there's people in our
seats”.... Tall one was not moving again, this was insanity. The
girls stayed standing looking at tall one and small one whispering to
each other, un-sure what to do, this was despite the fact that all of
the chairs infront of Tall one and Small one in Row F were empty.
Finally the girls sat down in Row F... what is the world coming to??
It was only about one third full and the staff had seated everyone on
each other's laps down Row G instead of spreading them out in the
many free chairs like human beings. We were then greeted by a cinema
advert announcing that “going to the Cinema is a time to
relax....”.
After the movie went downtown and
shopped in Coutndown supermarket. Small one stole two plastic spoons
for our yoghurts. We brought a Burger King dinner, then searched out
the new temporary bus stop for our bus to Mount Manganui the next
morning (which had been relocated due to the Triathalon). We finally
found the stop at 12 Commerce St, which was a Korean Restaurant.
There was no sign for 'temp bus stop', so small one thought he'd ask
the Korean man inside, who pretended he had no English speaking
skills whatsoever. Headed back for bed....
Friday 19th October 2012
Had about 3-4 hours sleep before
getting up at 4am, then getting a prepaid taxi at 4.30am from the
hotel to Kuala Lumpur Airport. We had prepaid a taxi voucher which
cost us 100RM, but for sme reason the driver put on the meter and it
only read 50RM when we arrived, but we'd already paid the hotel. We
were lucky we even had a taxi as when small one went down at 4am to
double check, the night guy said there was nothing ordered, and they
finally found the receipt that small one had paid the lady for
yesterday, she'd left it attached inside the voucher book and had not
taken it out to ring in.
At Kuala Lumpur airport got on the
transfer train from the main terminal to our gate, but we were
confused at when to get off as the voice over said this train goes to
gates C1 to C37.... So hen it stopped we thought they'd be a few
stops and stayed on, only to head straight back to the main terminal
again, and have to wait to go back again. Had a breakfast at O'Briens
cafe, smoothy, croissant and coffee – spending the last of our
Ringgets. Tall one got his laptop out (the one he'd brought a couple
of months back in Montreal) only to find the screen shattered.... he
doesn't have much luck with new laptops, the first one he brought for
700 pounds when he left to go travellng in May 2008, and within 2
months it had fallen on the floor and wouldn't charge anymore, it now
resides in his Parents attic.... This laptop still works but had
large cracks and black dead spots on the screen.
Boarded the plane and this time it was
a lot older than the last one. In front of tall one and small one sat
some young, snobby European couple, who spent the 10 hours fussing
and complaining about the food and crushing small one's legs with the
seat in the full back position. The plane was badly designed and did
not have much room to move when the seats were back. There was also
the exact same movies and tv shows as the last flight, so ran out of
things to do. Small one seemed to sleep for most of the journey
though, but woke up when we were flying over the Northern Territory,
Australia – where you could look out the window on the vast outback
desert under the dotted white clouds....somewhere down there just
under 2 years ago we had broken down in Tony.
Got to Auckland around Midnight NZ
time (6pm KL time) and the snobby couple were up within minutes o
touching down and dashed to the front of the plane to be first off,
only to get stuck in the very long Immigration queue. Got through
immigration very quickly and painless, no questions about insurance
or proof of funds. Customs was another matter, they didn't like tall
one's juggling balls that small one brought him in Melbourne 2
Christmas' ago. Some fella said they contained untreated seeds and
had to be either roasted in their oven for around $40, or could be
destroyed free of charge....tall one thought them taking his balls
away and destroying them was a bit much, not like they were from
Asia.
It was quite cold in Auckland, made it
to the ACB hostel, which was still the same shit hole it was 2 years
ago. Lifts still broken, street outside still full of idiots and
bums, toilet on our floor only had 1 working shower (which something
had chewed a hole in the door, the floor was covered with tissues and
the shower curtain hung on only two pegs).... Checked in with our
free nights stay vouchers from Bunac, had arranged to pay extra for a
double room., but the fella had us in a twin and could not understand
the concept of a double room, when we even showed him it said double
on the voucher he asked if we had a double room each?? He got a bit
nervous and was there shaking taking our money for a key deposit, he
didn't even ask for the extra money each to pay for the upgrade to a
twin. They were booked for the Public Holiday weekend and the
triathlon going on in Auckland. They had barriered off the CBD down
Queen Street for this bike race, and so City was mad busy and a
nightmare to cross streets. There was a English fella on our flight
dressed in a sporty tracksuit and hideous Union Jack trainers, who
lugged a bike in a huge plastic suitcase into the City on the bus. By
the time we got to bed it was about 2am, small one slept, but tall
one could not sleep at all, stayed up all night listening to
podcasts....
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